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26 June 2005, 06:21 PM | #1 |
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About To Tee Off.
Some might have to think with this one, remember its all in the mind.
Two old friends were just about to tee off at the first hole of their local golf course when a chap carrying a golf bag called out to them, "Do you mind if join you? My partner didn't turn up." "Sure," they said, "You're welcome." So they started playing and enjoyed the game and the company of the newcomer. Part way around the course, one of the friends asked the newcomer, "What do you do for a living?" "I'm a hit man," was the reply. "You're joking!" was the response. "No, I'm not," he said, reaching into his golf bag, and pulling out a beautiful Martini sniper's rifle with a large telescopic sight. "Here are my tools." "That's a beautiful telescopic sight," said the other friend, "Can I take a look? I think I might be able to see my house from here." So he picked up the rifle and looked through the sight in the direction of his house. "Yeah, I can see my house all right. This sight is fantastic. I can see right in the window. Wow, I can see my wife in the bedroom. Ha Ha, I can see she's naked! What's that?... Wait a minute, that's my neighbour in there with her. He's naked as well! ...That bitch!" He turned to the hit man, "How much do you charge for a hit?" "I do a flat rate, for you, one thousand dollars every time I pull the trigger." "Can you do two for me now?" "Sure, what do you want?" "First, shoot my wife, she's always been mouthy, so shoot her in the mouth. Then the neighbour, he's a mate of mine, a bit of a lad, so just shoot his dick off to teach him a lesson." The hit man took the rifle and took aim, standing perfectly still for a few minutes. "Are you going to do it or not?" said the friend impatiently. "Just wait a moment, be patient," said the hit man calmly, "I think I can save you a grand ....." |
27 June 2005, 01:36 AM | #2 |
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Nothing like a good laugh on a Sunday morning. And you're right. It took about a millisecond longer than normal to get it.
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Despite the high cost of living, it's still very popular. Tosser Cabinet Member Official Member: 'Perpetual 30' Vegas International GTG 2016 Official Member "WIS-CON" Las Vegas International GTG 2017 Official Member "WIS-CON" Las Vegas International GTG 2018 Official Member "WIS-CON" Las Vegas International GTG 2019 |
27 June 2005, 01:37 AM | #3 |
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OMG!! ROTFLMFAOLOL!!
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27 June 2005, 05:03 AM | #4 |
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7 May 2009, 10:46 PM | #5 |
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7 May 2009, 10:53 PM | #6 |
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Excellent joke!!!
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8 May 2009, 01:36 AM | #7 |
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Excellent!
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8 May 2009, 02:27 AM | #8 |
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Jeeeeez - who dug up a thread back from when ol' Shep was a pup?
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8 May 2009, 08:55 AM | #9 |
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8 May 2009, 09:28 AM | #10 |
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Good one! Thanks,
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8 May 2009, 10:26 AM | #11 |
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9 May 2009, 01:32 PM | #12 |
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