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figbo · 3 September 2009, 05:01 AM

On some bases the Air Force is on one side of the field and
civilian aircraft use the other side of the field, with the control tower in the middle.
One day the tower received a call from an
aircraft asking, "What time is it?"

The tower responded, "Who is calling?"

The aircraft replied, "What difference does it make?"

The tower replied, "It makes a lot of difference----
If it is an American Airlines flight, it is 3 o'clock.
If it is an Air Force plane, it is 1500 hours.
If it is a Navy aircraft, it is 6 bells.
If it is an Army aircraft, the big hand is on the 12 and the little hand is on the 3.
If it is a Marine Corps aircraft, it's Thursday afternoon and 120 minutes to "Happy Hour."

-------------------------------

During training exercises, the lieutenant, who was driving down a muddy back road, encountered another car stuck in the mud with a red-faced colonel at the wheel.
"Is your jeep stuck, sir?" asked the lieutenant, as he pulled alongside.

"Nope," replied the colonel, coming over and handing him the keys, "Yours is."

-------------------------------

Having just moved into his new office, a pompous new colonel was sitting at his desk when an airman knocked on the door. The colonel quickly picked up the phone, told the airman to enter, then said into the phone, "Yes, General, I'll be seeing him this afternoon and I'll pass along your message. In the meantime, thank you for your good wishes, sir."

Feeling as though he had sufficiently impressed the young enlisted man, he asked, "Now, what do you want?"

"Nothing important, sir," the airman replied, "I'm just here to hook up your telephone."

-------------------------------

Officer: "Soldier, do you have change for a dollar?"

Soldier: "Sure, buddy."

Officer: "That's no way to address an officer! Now let's try it again!"

Officer: "Soldier. Do you have change for a dollar?"

Soldier: "No, SIR!"

-------------------------------

Q: How do you know if there is a fighter pilot at your party?
A: He'll tell you.

Q: What's the difference between God and fighter pilots?
A: God doesn't think he's a fighter pilot.

Q: What's the difference between a fighter pilot and a jet engine?
A: A jet engine stops whining when the plane shuts down.

-------------------------------

An Air Force Chief Master Sergeant and a General were sitting in the barbershop.
They were both just getting finished with their shaves when the barbers reached for some after-shave to slap on their faces

The General shouted, "Hey, don't put that stuff on me! My wife will think I've been in a whorehouse!"

The Chief turned to his barber and said, "Go ahead and put it on me. My wife doesn't know what the inside of a whorehouse smells like."

-------------------------------

"Well," snarled the tough old Navy Chief to the bewildered
Seaman, "I suppose after you get discharged from the Navy, you'll just be waiting for me to die so you can come and piss on my grave."

"Not me, Chief!" the Seaman replied. "Once I get out of the
Navy, I'm never going to stand in line again.

B Square · 3 September 2009, 05:15 AM

Good ones

limbo · 3 September 2009, 07:01 AM

sexner · 3 September 2009, 07:41 AM

idk01 · 4 September 2009, 01:17 AM

JJ Irani · 4 September 2009, 03:52 AM

AWATCH · 4 September 2009, 04:24 AM

Lion · 8 September 2009, 10:36 PM

Very good!!!

Andad · 8 September 2009, 10:40 PM

azone5 · 9 September 2009, 01:00 AM

Super jokes!

Rolexophile · 9 September 2009, 09:09 AM

Super, thanks!

redshirt1957 · 10 September 2009, 12:28 AM

How does a fighter pilot screw in a light bulb? He puts the new bulb in the socket, and the world revolves him.

3 September 2009, 05:01 AM	#1
figbo "TRF" Member Join Date: Jan 2008 Real Name: El Raf-O Location: florida Watch: tt GMT2c,Omega Posts: 19,687	Military humor On some bases the Air Force is on one side of the field and civilian aircraft use the other side of the field, with the control tower in the middle. One day the tower received a call from an aircraft asking, "What time is it?" The tower responded, "Who is calling?" The aircraft replied, "What difference does it make?" The tower replied, "It makes a lot of difference---- If it is an American Airlines flight, it is 3 o'clock. If it is an Air Force plane, it is 1500 hours. If it is a Navy aircraft, it is 6 bells. If it is an Army aircraft, the big hand is on the 12 and the little hand is on the 3. If it is a Marine Corps aircraft, it's Thursday afternoon and 120 minutes to "Happy Hour." ------------------------------- During training exercises, the lieutenant, who was driving down a muddy back road, encountered another car stuck in the mud with a red-faced colonel at the wheel. "Is your jeep stuck, sir?" asked the lieutenant, as he pulled alongside. "Nope," replied the colonel, coming over and handing him the keys, "Yours is." ------------------------------- Having just moved into his new office, a pompous new colonel was sitting at his desk when an airman knocked on the door. The colonel quickly picked up the phone, told the airman to enter, then said into the phone, "Yes, General, I'll be seeing him this afternoon and I'll pass along your message. In the meantime, thank you for your good wishes, sir." Feeling as though he had sufficiently impressed the young enlisted man, he asked, "Now, what do you want?" "Nothing important, sir," the airman replied, "I'm just here to hook up your telephone." ------------------------------- Officer: "Soldier, do you have change for a dollar?" Soldier: "Sure, buddy." Officer: "That's no way to address an officer! Now let's try it again!" Officer: "Soldier. Do you have change for a dollar?" Soldier: "No, SIR!" ------------------------------- Q: How do you know if there is a fighter pilot at your party? A: He'll tell you. Q: What's the difference between God and fighter pilots? A: God doesn't think he's a fighter pilot. Q: What's the difference between a fighter pilot and a jet engine? A: A jet engine stops whining when the plane shuts down. ------------------------------- An Air Force Chief Master Sergeant and a General were sitting in the barbershop. They were both just getting finished with their shaves when the barbers reached for some after-shave to slap on their faces The General shouted, "Hey, don't put that stuff on me! My wife will think I've been in a whorehouse!" The Chief turned to his barber and said, "Go ahead and put it on me. My wife doesn't know what the inside of a whorehouse smells like." ------------------------------- "Well," snarled the tough old Navy Chief to the bewildered Seaman, "I suppose after you get discharged from the Navy, you'll just be waiting for me to die so you can come and piss on my grave." "Not me, Chief!" the Seaman replied. "Once I get out of the Navy, I'm never going to stand in line again.

3 September 2009, 05:15 AM	#2
B Square "TRF" Member Join Date: Sep 2008 Real Name: Boyd Location: NC Posts: 1,815	Good ones __________________ 16610M 16710Z Pepsi 16570V White

3 September 2009, 07:41 AM	#4
sexner "TRF" Member Join Date: May 2009 Real Name: 4Q Location: Nowhere near you Watch: 169622, 124060 Posts: 2,014	__________________ One should endeavor to do what is right not what is established.

4 September 2009, 01:17 AM	#5
idk01 "TRF" Member Join Date: Jan 2009 Real Name: Dave Location: Australia Watch: DJ16233TT Posts: 18,485	__________________ *Apprentice to Terry Newton; Superstar and Fake Sleuth*

4 September 2009, 03:52 AM	#6
JJ Irani Fondly Remembered Join Date: May 2005 Real Name: JJ Location: Auckland, NZ Watch: ALL SOLD!! Posts: 74,319	__________________ Words fail me in expressing my utmost thanks to ALL of you for this wonderful support during my hour of need!! I firmly believe that my time on planet earth is NOT yet up!! I shall fight this to the very end.......and WIN!!

3 September 2009, 07:01 AM	#3
limbo "TRF" Member Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: Sydney Posts: 4,624

4 September 2009, 04:24 AM	#7
AWATCH "TRF" Member Join Date: Jul 2009 Real Name: al Location: GEORGIA Watch: Explorer II Posts: 1,759

8 September 2009, 10:36 PM	#8
Lion "TRF" Member Join Date: Jan 2009 Real Name: Leo Location: Midwest Watch: GMT-II 16710 PEPSI Posts: 21,461	Very good!!! __________________ SS GMT-II 16710 PEPSI(Z-serial#) THE ONLY DIFFERENCE BETWEEN MEN AND BOYS IS THE PRICE OF THE TOYS!!! MontBlanc Meisterstuck Doue Silver Barley MontBlanc Meisterstuck Solitaire Doue Signum Proud Card Carrying Member of the Curmudgeons.....Yikes!!!

8 September 2009, 10:40 PM	#9
Andad 2024 SubLV41 Pledge Member Join Date: Nov 2006 Real Name: Eddie Location: Australia Watch: A few. Posts: 37,533	__________________ E

9 September 2009, 01:00 AM	#10
azone5 "TRF" Member Join Date: Jul 2009 Location: IL Posts: 402	Super jokes!

9 September 2009, 09:09 AM	#11
Rolexophile "TRF" Member Join Date: Jul 2009 Real Name: D.J. Location: Fort Lauderdale Posts: 278	Super, thanks!

10 September 2009, 12:28 AM	#12
redshirt1957 "TRF" Member Join Date: Sep 2007 Real Name: Bubba Location: Bitsyville! Watch: Blue YM today! Posts: 10,053	How does a fighter pilot screw in a light bulb? He puts the new bulb in the socket, and the world revolves him.

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