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Alcan · 1 April 2007, 04:56 AM

This is an oldie but still a goodie.

EXCERPTS FROM A DOG'S DAILY DIARY:

8:00 a.m.Oh, boy! Dog food! My favourite!
9:30 a.m.Oh, boy! A car ride! My favourite!
9:40 a.m.Oh, boy! A walk! My favourite!
10:30 a.m.Oh, boy! Getting rubbed and petted! My favourite!
11:30 a.m.Oh, boy! Dog food! My favourite!
Noon- Oh, boy! The kids! My favourite!
1:00 p.m.Oh, boy! The yard! My favourite!
4:00 p.m.Oh, boy! To the park! My favourite!
5:00 p.m.Oh, boy! Dog food! My favourite!
6:00 p.m.Oh, boy! Playing ball! My favourite!
6:30 a.m.Oh, boy! Watching TV with my master! My favourite!
8:30 p.m Oh, boy! Sleeping in master's bed! My favourite!

EXCERPTS FROM A CAT'S DAILY DIARY:

Day 183 of My Captivity: My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the mild satisfaction I get from ruining the occasional piece of furniture. Tomorrow I may eat another house plant. Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while they were walking almost succeeded; must try this at the top of the stairs. In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once again induced myself to vomit on their favourite chair, must try this on their bed. Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body, in an attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike fear into their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a good little cat I was. Hmmm, not working according to plan. There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in solitary confinement throughout the event. However, I could hear the noise and smell the food. More importantly, I overheard that my confinement was due to my power of "allergies." Must learn what this is and how to use it to my advantage. I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches. The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He is obviously a half-wit. The bird, on the other hand, has got to be an informant, he speaks with them regularly. I am certain he reports my every move. Due to his current placement in the high metal room, his safety is assured. But I can wait, it is only a matter of time ....

Prince · 1 April 2007, 04:58 AM

Sometimes, I wish I were a cat.

Great post, Al!

Ashley · 1 April 2007, 05:02 AM

Exactly why I hate cats and love dogs. They love everything and everyone <3

Prince · 1 April 2007, 05:03 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tags_girl_

Exactly why I hate cats and love dogs. They love everything and everyone <3

And that's a bad thing?

kakalika · 1 April 2007, 05:24 AM

rolexfan21 · 1 April 2007, 03:27 PM

im definitely a dog person... and this is hilarious... haha

leopardprey · 3 April 2007, 08:08 PM

Hey, I like cats! They make good targets!

astcell · 3 April 2007, 08:53 PM

Bumper sticker: Lost your cat? Check under my tires!

1 April 2007, 04:56 AM	#1
Alcan 2024 Pledge Member Join Date: Nov 2006 Real Name: Al Location: Way Up North Watch: your P's & Q's Posts: 10,473	Dog and Cat Diaries This is an oldie but still a goodie. EXCERPTS FROM A DOG'S DAILY DIARY: 8:00 a.m.Oh, boy! Dog food! My favourite! 9:30 a.m.Oh, boy! A car ride! My favourite! 9:40 a.m.Oh, boy! A walk! My favourite! 10:30 a.m.Oh, boy! Getting rubbed and petted! My favourite! 11:30 a.m.Oh, boy! Dog food! My favourite! Noon- Oh, boy! The kids! My favourite! 1:00 p.m.Oh, boy! The yard! My favourite! 4:00 p.m.Oh, boy! To the park! My favourite! 5:00 p.m.Oh, boy! Dog food! My favourite! 6:00 p.m.Oh, boy! Playing ball! My favourite! 6:30 a.m.Oh, boy! Watching TV with my master! My favourite! 8:30 p.m Oh, boy! Sleeping in master's bed! My favourite! EXCERPTS FROM A CAT'S DAILY DIARY: Day 183 of My Captivity: My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the mild satisfaction I get from ruining the occasional piece of furniture. Tomorrow I may eat another house plant. Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while they were walking almost succeeded; must try this at the top of the stairs. In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once again induced myself to vomit on their favourite chair, must try this on their bed. Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body, in an attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike fear into their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a good little cat I was. Hmmm, not working according to plan. There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in solitary confinement throughout the event. However, I could hear the noise and smell the food. More importantly, I overheard that my confinement was due to my power of "allergies." Must learn what this is and how to use it to my advantage. I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches. The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He is obviously a half-wit. The bird, on the other hand, has got to be an informant, he speaks with them regularly. I am certain he reports my every move. Due to his current placement in the high metal room, his safety is assured. But I can wait, it is only a matter of time .... __________________ Member #1,315 I don't want to get technical, but according to chemistry alcohol IS a solution!

1 April 2007, 04:58 AM	#2
Prince "TRF" Member Join Date: Feb 2006 Real Name: Allan Location: St. Augustine, FL Watch: Daytona/Sub/GMT/DJ Posts: 20,323	Sometimes, I wish I were a cat. Great post, Al! __________________ Member: Rolex Keeper's Society "You see, you can't please everyone, so you got to please yourself." - Rick Nelson

1 April 2007, 05:24 AM	#5
kakalika "TRF" Member Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Minnesota, USA Watch: SS Sub-Date Posts: 505	__________________ I thought I was mistaken, but then I realized I was wrong.

1 April 2007, 05:02 AM	#3
Ashley "TRF" Member Join Date: Jan 2007 Real Name: Ashley Location: Calgary Posts: 6,967	Exactly why I hate cats and love dogs. They love everything and everyone <3

1 April 2007, 03:27 PM	#6
rolexfan21 Member Join Date: Dec 2006 Location: Toronto Watch: 16610 Posts: 379	im definitely a dog person... and this is hilarious... haha

3 April 2007, 08:08 PM	#7
leopardprey Banned Join Date: Nov 2006 Real Name: Chad Location: Around the world Watch: Panerai 233 Posts: 4,204	Hey, I like cats! They make good targets!

3 April 2007, 08:53 PM	#8
astcell "TRF" Member Join Date: Aug 2006 Real Name: Robert Location: Angelus Oaks, CA Watch: 116713 Posts: 6,828	Bumper sticker: Lost your cat? Check under my tires!

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