Junk Stuff Though Your Letterbox.

[padi56]

Most days evenings I open my front door to find alternatively (in wet weather) a pile of steaming pappier mache on the doorstep or (in warm weather) leaflets for home dog grooming services, twenty pizza delivery companies or the local kebab shop blowing across the frontage.

Why?all this free newspaper delivery morons. These ubertwats not only insist on coming around with stuff I don't want, but are either too lazy or too uncoordinated to stick the things through the letter box or, more preferably, straight into the soding bin.

Net result - every evening, in a post-pub haze I find myself either scraping wet soggy like pulp off the front doorstep, or stumbling around chasing flapping bits of coloured paper around the front garden or neighbourhood.

Will they never realise, no one actually wants this stuff. No one wants to read about Doris from Blackwood and her litter of mutant cats. No one wants to read about the usage figures, in the sub branch of the local library. And I'm certainly not interested in pictures of some flabby winger, clad in the nylon colours of the local team, propping up the bottom of the Ryman's League third division, celebrating their narrow victory over west Bognor United.

It's litter - dropping litter is a crime - take the sodding stuff away
and stuff it where the sun don't shine you useless tossers.

If I ever catch the hooded numpty who is too lazy to open my letter box I'll be ramming the Valleys Guardian up his lardy ars# and then setting it on fire.

Actually, the worst must be the pizza delivery companies. I swear that every night there's a different pizza leaflet through the door.

One Sunday we had bloody THREE pizza menus stuck through the letter box over the course of a morning.How many bloody pizzas can people eat for Christ's sake?
And now even my local countcil produces a colour rag, to tell us how they are saving us in money, saving my ars# costing more likely.Just think of
all the bloody trees that have died to produce all this useless tosh.

I get the local Journal delivered every Friday,What started out as a 30 page local news paper with a few adverts, has over the course of 10 years. Mutated into a a 20 page sh!tepaper,thats so poor in quality,you cannot even wipe your ars# with it .Now its got one page of news on the front cover, 19 pages of adverts and 500 glossy pamphlets,for various crap in its centre. It weighs the same as a couple of housebricks and now ends up straight in the bloody recycle bin.

[Gedanken]

Good one, Peter! I've always been sorely tempted to go up to the companies that do this and jam their letterboxes full of crap. Maybe I'll wait for one fine day when Eddie's litter trey is full.

On a side note, maybe you could make these posts a daily feature to be posted first thing every day - you could call it "Padi's Morning Dump".

[padi56]

Originally Posted by Gedanken

Good one, Peter! I've always been sorely tempted to go up to the companies that do this and jam their letterboxes full of crap. Maybe I'll wait for one fine day when Eddie's litter trey is full.

On a side note, maybe you could make these posts a daily feature to be posted first thing every day - you could call it "Padi's Morning Dump".

I like it James, and yes the local paper its very useful,its the exact size of my African Greys cage when open.But now he even states this paper is now full crap,before and after he has used it.
:

[Goodwatch]

Originally Posted by padi56

Most days evenings I open my front door to find alternatively (in wet weather) a pile of steaming pappier mache on the doorstep or (in warm weather) leaflets for home dog grooming services, twenty pizza delivery companies or the local kebab shop blowing across the frontage.

I’m with you my friend. But living in hyper-super-ultra over-regulated country like myself has some, all be it minute, advantages. All newspaper and leaflet distributing companies have signed an agreement. Through an independent foundation one can order two free stickers to place on your letterbox. They are orange, black and green in colour and every person distributing folders, leaflets, community newspapers, etc. knows what they mean. One sticker reads: NO printed advertising material and NO free newspapers, this means basically you will not receive anything but your mail and your own newspaper. (But you also will miss out on leaflets that might be interesting). The other sticker reads: NO anonymous printed advertising materials. This means you will receive the free newspapers AND the “You’ve become a millionaire” crap from RD and the like, because they have your address on it but not the bucketloads of crap.

It works, with the right sticker, no crap will enter your letterbox because there’s a hefty fine if they still stuff it down. I have neither because my wife wants to read the leaflets from the local supermarkets, etc. Since about two years, the huge stacks of leaflets come handily sealed in plastic. This is a blessing: one can chock them away in one easy throw, without even getting your hands dirty. But is it also a curse because people (understandably) don’t remove the wrapper anymore and this spells trouble for the recycling business (us Dutch recycle 90% of our paper and 70% of our bottles).

I have a stack of the stickers for one purpose: each time we are out of town or on vacation I put the NO-NO sticker on my letterbox. Saves me from shovelling our way in after we return home.

[padi56]

Well Frans thats a cracking idea,but this is darkest Wales most of
the buggers that deliver this stuff cannot read.And yes we have a
recycle programs separate bins for plastic,glass,tin-cans and domestic
rubbish all colour coded.With different bins on different days,but put
the wrong bin out on the wrong day.That is a terrible sin the bin men
stick a huge sticker on bin,refused collection wrong colour bin day.

[Goodwatch]

Originally Posted by padi56

Well Frans thats a cracking idea,but this is darkest Wales most of
the buggers that deliver this stuff cannot read.

I see the problem. How about a pictogram? Well, the stickers are designed in such a way, that you need to be colourblind as well to NOT know what they mean. If all that fails as well I give up.

[BruceS]

Padi, I now look forward to reading your editorials like I used to look forward to reading Dave Barry. Just brilliant

[Goodwatch]

Originally Posted by padi56

That is a terrible sin the bin men
stick a huge sticker on bin,refused collection wrong colour bin day.

I must agree, what would this world become to if people started to put out the wrong colour trash bin. Shame on you! Let's put this in another way, civilisation as we know it would come to an end! Cats with dogs, black rain, trains running on time, the horror!

[JJ Irani]

I've got a "No Junk Mail" plastic sticker on my letter box - problem solved!!

[Goodwatch]

Originally Posted by JJ Irani

I've got a "No Junk Mail" plastic sticker on my letter box - problem solved!!

JJ, what do you do if you still get junk mail? We can call a special number to report this, what do you do?


Caution, caution, caution, the level of seriousness has exceeded its predetermined limit. All personnel abandon ship, I repeat, all personnel abandon ship! This is not a drill, this is not a drill!

[JJ Irani]

Originally Posted by Goodwatch

JJ, what do you do if you still get junk mail? We can call a special number to report this, what do you do?


Caution, caution, caution, the level of seriousness has exceeded its predetermined limit. All personnel abandon ship, I repeat, all personnel abandon ship! This is not a drill, this is not a drill!

In NZ, everybody can read English and the disciplinarian standards here are very high.

Once you put up such a sign on your letterbox, rest assure you will NOT receive any junk mail. There are quite a few letterboxes with a similar sign up and none of them receive trash!!

[Goodwatch]

Originally Posted by JJ Irani

In NZ, everybody can read English and the disciplinarian standards here are very high.

Once you put up such a sign on your letterbox, rest assure you will NOT receive any junk mail. There are quite a few letterboxes with a similar sign up and none of them receive trash!!

I'm sorry, I thought you all read Kiwi

[padi56]

Originally Posted by Goodwatch

I'm sorry, I thought you all read Kiwi

Or Baaaa Baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa Baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.

[JJ Irani]

Originally Posted by Goodwatch

I'm sorry, I thought you all read Kiwi

We do...that's a refined word for "English"!!!

[dman]

Originally Posted by JJ Irani

We do...that's a refined word for "English"!!!

Simply put, !!!!!!!!

[mailman]

Hey junk mail helps put food on my table

[Uncle-AJ]

Peter we have managed to reduce the amount of junk mail we receive. Try this link as it may help. http://www.gov.im/lib/docs/oft/general/junkmail.pdf

You can imagine what our house would be like after 6 months of junk mail had been posted through the door. We would probably not be able to get in.

[padi56]

Originally Posted by Uncle-AJ

Peter we have managed to reduce the amount of junk mail we receive. Try this link as it may help. http://www.gov.im/lib/docs/oft/general/junkmail.pdf

You can imagine what our house would be like after 6 months of junk mail had been posted through the door. We would probably not be able to get in.

Yes I have done that Adrian, its not so much Junk mail, after all that keeps our postmen in full employment.Its the junk delivered by hand,that I am talking about free papers,take aways,leaflets, etc.

[Uncle-AJ]

I know the stuff you mean Peter. It's a pain in the butt.

[padi56]

Originally Posted by Uncle-AJ

I know the stuff you mean Peter. It's a pain in the butt.

Yes my old mate 100% agree with you, and the paper is that low quality it would be a pain in the butt if you used it.

[mailman]

Originally Posted by padi56

the paper is that low quality it would be a pain in the butt if you used it.