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padi56 · 16 October 2012, 08:27 PM

GRAND FARTING COMPETITION

UNDER INTERNATIONAL RULES OF FARTING

TO BE HELD AT THE EAST GERMAN FARTING STADIUM

FART OFF: 19:30 Hours FINAL FART: 21:00 Hours

Referees:

1 Former Farting Champion (all classes) of Egypt and the Lebanon.

2 Wet Fart Champion of the United Kingdom and the Isle of Man.

Chairman:

Peter Pempslider - Who still holds the World Record Duration Fart for 9 seconds

Unbeaten after training on Pernod, Duck Eggs,baked beans,broccoli,Guinness and Mushy Peas). (Mind-blowing and ars# blowing training program).And this program assures the added bonus,of a certain piquancy ensuing multiple farts.

RULES:

When called each competitor will step forward onto the raised platform and must lower his trousers, on the platform and not before.

He will grip the Farting Post: Any grip is permitted, one hand or two.

At a given signal from the referee, the competitor will commence to fart.

A SHIT, OR BACKFIRE AND FOLLOW THOUGH, IS IMMEDIATELY DISQUALIFIED!

GRADING: Dry farts, long tarts, wet farts, short farts, alternating long and short farts, rip raps,farts with bubbles, blobs and squeaks.

The Judge will take into consideration quality of all farts strength, odour, posture of competitor, and grip used, Cushion dusters, blanket rippers and thunder claps are admissible. Echo chambers will NOT be allowed.

After the final fart a demonstration will be given by the World Champion Farter, also a runner up who came within one second of the 1991 World Championship but was disqualified for SHITTING. The Thunder Box Farting Formation Team will then give a display of Formation Farting.

The audience are requested not to fart during the competition as this upsets the Judge.

The drinking of alcohol and the eating of peanuts is not permitted during the contest as this causes the ars# to quiver, which distorts the farts, giving a false sound.

By Competition organiser. R.Sole.C.A.H. .

MonBK · 16 October 2012, 08:36 PM

Peter, I'm dying to know???????

Did you win.

FeelingTheBlues · 16 October 2012, 09:08 PM

Very funny Mr. Pempslider!

bewithabob · 17 October 2012, 05:37 AM

I have some relatives that could easily walk off with the grand prize, whatever that is.

subtona · 17 October 2012, 05:41 AM

although technically translates to Exit.... still seems like it fits

Art 1 · 17 October 2012, 09:00 AM

Glenn422 · 19 October 2012, 04:01 AM

If that truly exist..Can't imagine the formation farting part

77T · 21 October 2012, 11:25 PM

brkanand · 21 October 2012, 11:37 PM

OMG!

eric23 · 22 October 2012, 02:25 AM

16 October 2012, 08:27 PM	#1
padi56 "TRF" Life Patron Join Date: Jun 2005 Real Name: Peter Location: Llanfairpwllgwyng Watch: ing you. Posts: 53,063	Fart off. GRAND FARTING COMPETITION UNDER INTERNATIONAL RULES OF FARTING TO BE HELD AT THE EAST GERMAN FARTING STADIUM FART OFF: 19:30 Hours FINAL FART: 21:00 Hours Referees: 1 Former Farting Champion (all classes) of Egypt and the Lebanon. 2 Wet Fart Champion of the United Kingdom and the Isle of Man. Chairman: Peter Pempslider - Who still holds the World Record Duration Fart for 9 seconds Unbeaten after training on Pernod, Duck Eggs,baked beans,broccoli,Guinness and Mushy Peas). (Mind-blowing and ars# blowing training program).And this program assures the added bonus,of a certain piquancy ensuing multiple farts. RULES: When called each competitor will step forward onto the raised platform and must lower his trousers, on the platform and not before. He will grip the Farting Post: Any grip is permitted, one hand or two. At a given signal from the referee, the competitor will commence to fart. A SHIT, OR BACKFIRE AND FOLLOW THOUGH, IS IMMEDIATELY DISQUALIFIED! GRADING: Dry farts, long tarts, wet farts, short farts, alternating long and short farts, rip raps,farts with bubbles, blobs and squeaks. The Judge will take into consideration quality of all farts strength, odour, posture of competitor, and grip used, Cushion dusters, blanket rippers and thunder claps are admissible. Echo chambers will NOT be allowed. After the final fart a demonstration will be given by the World Champion Farter, also a runner up who came within one second of the 1991 World Championship but was disqualified for SHITTING. The Thunder Box Farting Formation Team will then give a display of Formation Farting. The audience are requested not to fart during the competition as this upsets the Judge. The drinking of alcohol and the eating of peanuts is not permitted during the contest as this causes the ars# to quiver, which distorts the farts, giving a false sound. By Competition organiser. R.Sole.C.A.H. . __________________ ICom Pro3 All posts are my own opinion and my opinion only. "The clock of life is wound but once, and no man has the power to tell just when the hands will stop. Now is the only time you actually own the time, Place no faith in time, for the clock may soon be still for ever." Good Judgement comes from experience,experience comes from Bad Judgement,.Buy quality, cry once; buy cheap, cry again and again. www.mc0yad.club Second in command CEO and left handed watch winder

16 October 2012, 09:08 PM	#3
FeelingTheBlues "TRF" Member Join Date: Sep 2011 Real Name: Carl Location: Always moving Watch: If you wish... Posts: 22,039	Very funny Mr. Pempslider! __________________ Mon corps c'est un pays en guerre sur l'point d'finir, Le général de l'armée de terre s'attend au pire, J'ai faim, j'ai frette, je suis trop faible pour me lever debout, On va hisser le drapeau blanc un point c'est tout. - André Fortin

17 October 2012, 05:37 AM	#4
bewithabob "TRF" Member Join Date: Jan 2008 Real Name: Bob Location: Dallas, Texas Watch: Daytona Meteorite Posts: 3,417	I have some relatives that could easily walk off with the grand prize, whatever that is. __________________ meteor flying to Earth onto my wrist... 116509 Daytona Meteorite, 116520 Daytona Black, 116710 GMTIIC, 16013 DATEJUST, CARTIER SANTOS 100 W20090X8, IWC Big Pilot, IWC Top Gun "Everything works out in the end. If it hasn't worked out, it's not the end."

17 October 2012, 05:41 AM	#5
subtona "TRF" Member Join Date: Jan 2011 Real Name: gus Location: East Coast Watch: APK & sometimes Y Posts: 26,599	although technically translates to Exit.... still seems like it fits Attached Images __________________

21 October 2012, 11:25 PM	#8
77T 2024 SubLV41 Pledge Member Join Date: Dec 2010 Real Name: PaulG Location: Georgia Posts: 42,017	__________________ Does anyone really know what time it is?

16 October 2012, 08:36 PM	#2
MonBK Banned Join Date: Nov 2010 Location: Kingstown Posts: 58,279	Peter, I'm dying to know??????? Did you win.

17 October 2012, 09:00 AM	#6
Art 1 Banned Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: Florida, Canada Watch: Rol/Seik/Tud/Omega Posts: 30,244

19 October 2012, 04:01 AM	#7
Glenn422 "TRF" Member Join Date: Sep 2012 Location: TRF Posts: 721	If that truly exist..Can't imagine the formation farting part

21 October 2012, 11:37 PM	#9
brkanand 2024 Pledge Member Join Date: Jul 2009 Real Name: DrK Location: India Watch: 4=YMDaytonaGMTHulk Posts: 7,052	OMG!

22 October 2012, 02:25 AM	#10
eric23 "TRF" Member Join Date: Apr 2008 Real Name: Eric Location: Calgary Posts: 9,595

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