Need my fellow members' advice on a personal subject

[Trouble15]

Originally Posted by Lisa

No brainer to me.... the gift of a baby is better than any material item. Use the money for the treatment.

Well said.

[DoxaDavid]

I think a lot of people are missing the OP's question and getting focused on the baby or not isn't it.

They are going to do the medical treatment regardless which is going to be made on credit so lets forget for a second about the what they are spending the money for so there is no baby question and also let's skip the anniversary too.

Another way to look at it is:

You bought a new car and have a low interest loan for 5 years to repay. You have saved some cash and can either repay the car loan or keep the loan and make a luxury purchase like a Rolex.

Which is the better choice? It's a question of risk and conservatism. Many will tell you the prudent play is to always pay down your debts and only splurge when you have the cash to do so. Others will give you "You only live once" and spending money on a special luxury is a good thing.

Only you know what your comfort level is and what is appropriate for you and your spouse.

I spent a boatload last year on a big remodel project for my house. I paid cash for a chunk and threw the rest on my home equity line. I have a plan to pay off the home line in 1-3 years depending on income but that doesn't mean I won't spend money on a luxury good until it's paid off.

If you can make the payments to the medical facility and know you have enough cash reserves for the unexpected (twins, roof leaks, etc) and are still comfortable with your finances, then there is no reason you can't do both. If not, then that is your answer.

Maybe instead of buying a new Rolex you find a nice preowned so your downside if you need to sell it will be little to no loss?


It's a custom of my family not to congratulate a couple until they are already pregnant so I will say good luck and wish you success in your treatment goals!

[tedscott3]

Originally Posted by DoxaDavid

I think a lot of people are missing the OP's question and getting focused on the baby or not isn't it.

They are going to do the medical treatment regardless which is going to be made on credit so lets forget for a second about the what they are spending the money for so there is no baby question and also let's skip the anniversary too.

Another way to look at it is:

You bought a new car and have a low interest loan for 5 years to repay. You have saved some cash and can either repay the car loan or keep the loan and make a luxury purchase like a Rolex.

Which is the better choice? It's a question of risk and conservatism. Many will tell you the prudent play is to always pay down your debts and only splurge when you have the cash to do so. Others will give you "You only live once" and spending money on a special luxury is a good thing.

Only you know what your comfort level is and what is appropriate for you and your spouse.

I spent a boatload last year on a big remodel project for my house. I paid cash for a chunk and threw the rest on my home equity line. I have a plan to pay off the home line in 1-3 years depending on income but that doesn't mean I won't spend money on a luxury good until it's paid off.

If you can make the payments to the medical facility and know you have enough cash reserves for the unexpected (twins, roof leaks, etc) and are still comfortable with your finances, then there is no reason you can't do both. If not, then that is your answer.

Maybe instead of buying a new Rolex you find a nice preowned so your downside if you need to sell it will be little to no loss?


It's a custom of my family not to congratulate a couple until they are already pregnant so I will say good luck and wish you success in your treatment goals!

Not really the same. Going into debt to remodel your home and then buying a rolex is different than going into debt to help your wife get pregnant and then buying a rolex. I could not "charge" the procedure in order to buy a rolex. Buying a rolex and car at the same time is totally different IMO.

[jay1988]

Save the Rolex for another occasion. Maybe when your Baby is a few years old you can give her the watch for everything she's been through and for raising the baby etc. You can also give her a watch and say one day she can pass it on to the baby.

Personally babies aren't really my thing but if you're considering IVF they are clearly yours. I would wear a $10 Casio for the rest of my life if my gf asked me too. We're not married but she's still my family. It's so much more important that a watch. I love watches more than any other material items but they aren't even in the same league as the love I feel for certain people.

[newbieincali]

Hey with a watch you wont be late!

[tonbr]

Get your wife a nice gift (a way of treating your self too, imho), then see to that the treatment is payed.
If you are lucky you will be parents within a year or so, and as someone mentioned, twins, it's quite common as a result of IVF.

Then, there is a day when you can treat your self by buying a Rolex. When it's done you can look down on to your wrist and remember this little story/thread with a smile on your lips. Quite a little story to tell your kid/kids in the future, specially if it's done at the same time you hand over your, by then, very old Rolex to the next generation.

Good luck

/Tony
__________________________________________
The best way to predict the future is to create it...

[77T]

Since you can't pay cash for IVF...and you'd likely not have all the cash for a new Rolex....

Pass up the urge to buy a Rolex friend - because if IVF all goes well, then you would be in the hole for IVF + a Rolex. And how will you pay for the baby, set aside more cash for emergencies, save for education, retirement, etc?

But I'm not an expert on life advice - ask Suze Orman if you want the unvarnished truth: http://www.suzeorman.com/contact-us/...cial-question/

[Gimpgimp12]

Originally Posted by tedscott3

Are you serious with this thread? Pay for the treatment, or go into debt and get a watch?! As they say.... Come on man!

Thank you all for your well wishes and replies. I think there may be some confusion as to what my thread was about. I'm not trying to decide between getting the IVF treatment or a watch. The IVF treatments are happening regardless. My question was whether or not it was realistic for me to be trying to save for a gift for myself for our 10 year anniversary while still paying off the treatments. Or in other words, is it selfish of me to be trying to get that rolex before we pay off this debt?

[DoxaDavid]

Originally Posted by tedscott3

Not really the same. Going into debt to remodel your home and then buying a rolex is different than going into debt to help your wife get pregnant and then buying a rolex. I could not "charge" the procedure in order to buy a rolex. Buying a rolex and car at the same time is totally different IMO.

Always gives me a smile when people say "it's not the same thing" when in fact, it IS the same thing. Debt is debt is debt. The cause may be different but not the result. Factors such as terms my be different but it is still debt verses cash verses income stream and how one is conservative in the balance of all of it.

Going into debt for any reason whether it be to get pregnant, pay for school loans, a vehicle, CC a home remodel and on an on is all about the numbers which was my point and not knowing the OP's total financial wherewithal, only he can access what makes sense for him.

IMHO

[DoxaDavid]

Originally Posted by 77T

Since you can't pay cash for IVF...and you'd likely not have all the cash for a new Rolex....

Pass up the urge to buy a Rolex friend - because if IVF all goes well, then you would be in the hole for IVF + a Rolex. And how will you pay for the baby, set aside more cash for emergencies, save for education, retirement, etc?

But I'm not an expert on life advice - ask Suze Orman if you want the unvarnished truth: http://www.suzeorman.com/contact-us/...cial-question/

That's not necessarily true Paul. IVF treatments can cost $10k's as it can take several attempts to be successful. We had friends who spent almost $50K to have a child so the OP may well have the cash or save a little to get his Rolex verses being able to pay all of the IVF treatment fees up front.

[simongpaez]

If a read corrrectly is not a matter of choosing one or the other, if that was the case of course the baby is more important than anything, but if it means you can do both but will be in debt, I would say, do it know, having a baby can be expensive and you might need to wait a while before having extra money to spend on a nice watch, it will still be expensive having the baby but at least you already have the watch.

[Mystro]

If you are looking to be a Daddy. Save your money. Its just a watch.

Originally Posted by Gimpgimp12

Gentleman and ladies of TRF,

I am seeking your advice on a topic that has been on my mind the past few months. I am torn on what to do and was hoping that my fellow members could share some of their opinions with me....

Next year will be my 10 year wedding anniversary. A milestone, to say the least. I have always wanted a Rolex ever since my father got his and I saw how much he loved his DD. As the years have passed, I had chances to get one but for one reason or another, I decided to put the money into different investments.

For my 10 year anniversary gift to myself, I want to purchase my very own Rolex. I also want to get my wife a gift as well. However, we will be undergoing In-Vitro Fertilization treatment in a few months and needless to say, the cost of that will be substantial. We would be paying the treatments off over time because unfortunately, the procedure will not be covered under medical insurance.

My question is...should I still try and save to get the Rolex? I will get my wife her gift no matter what but I feel guilty making such a big purchase for myself when we will still be paying off our IVF treatments. On one hand, I feel that it's our 10 year anniversary...a milestone that only happens once. Everytime I look down at my wrist, that Rolex will remind me of that milestone. On the other hand, my responsible side says that I should use that money I would be setting aside to pay off the debt first.

I am sorry that this was such a long post but I wanted to give out as much info as possible. Thank you all in advance for your responses.....

[Rolexman28]

Baby .....then rolex.... But both are expensive

[tedscott3]

Originally Posted by DoxaDavid

Always gives me a smile when people say "it's not the same thing" when in fact, it IS the same thing. Debt is debt is debt. The cause may be different but not the result. Factors such as terms my be different but it is still debt verses cash verses income stream and how one is conservative in the balance of all of it.

Going into debt for any reason whether it be to get pregnant, pay for school loans, a vehicle, CC a home remodel and on an on is all about the numbers which was my point and not knowing the OP's total financial wherewithal, only he can access what makes sense for him.

IMHO

Obviously debt is debt regardless of the reason. I couldn't live with myself if I put my family in debt to try to get my wife pregnant so I could have a watch. Financing a car so I can have a watch is a different story for me. I understand that monetarily the outcome is the same, but emotionally it is different. Buying a car and a watch are 2 very easy things to buy/finance, sounds like the OP is a little more invested in the financing of his wife trying to get pregnant, and it is certainly not 100%. If you think the scenarios are the same, that's on you.

[PMiddy]

The Rolex can wait...baby first

[mrbill2mrbill2]

Originally Posted by Lisa

No brainer to me.... the gift of a baby is better than any material item. Use the money for the treatment.

Exactly!

My wife went through infertility treatments for both our children, boy then girl - yes luck was on our side. Got my first Rolex when they were 14 & 12.

Well worth the wait.

[mrbill2mrbill2]

Originally Posted by Percival007

Save for and pay off the IVF.

Then, when the Child is 1 buy yourself the Watch, wearing it will make you think of your Child every time you look at it.
When the Child is 18, pass on this Special (to you both) Watch to the Child and treat yourself to another!!
Even if you are blessed with a Girl, the fashion for larger watches even on women will still likely be there so it won't look out of place on her wrist.

Just a thought.

JC

Depending on the number of IVF cycles it will take more than 1 year to pay off.

[cedargrove]

IVF is expensive and stressful, especially when things don't happen as quickly as you'd like. Focus on what's important, and reward yourself with the watch later.

[lig]

Since I also feel that kids are overrated - you'll have to make your own call.

If you end up with triplets (this happened to a friend) you can kiss that DD goodbye!

[LightOnAHill]

If you have debt for the medical stuff and its on a payment plan, then consider how much the interest is on that, and what benefit will be in paying it off faster, and weigh that benefit against the considerable price increases Rolex does every so often.

If its a low interest rate, then I would do both: get the Rolex and keep making payments on the medical bills. If you can't pay the medical bills in full, and have to make payments, then make the payments and don't let the urge to want to pay it off quick affect your life.

If its possible, try to find some other means to finance the medical bills like a home equity loan so the cost of debt isn't as high.

Above all, remember there's a balance in everything, so wanting a Rolex isn't bad or selfish, as long as it doesn't affect your day to day life. If that purchase will strap your family, then it's not worth it. If it won't, then it is worth it.

AND, talk to your wife about the whole thing and how you feel and level with her.

She can give you way better advice on this than any of us can because she knows you and your heart.

[datejusting]

Pay for the IVF first.

[Angrypuppy]

1.IVF
2.Debt free
3.fully funded 529 plan
4.Rolex

That would be my priority. Do what ever floats your boat. Only you truly know your finances.

[springer]

Originally Posted by Lisa

No brainer to me.... the gift of a baby is better than any material item. Use the money for the treatment.

X2. If anything, get the wife a Rolex.

[Rolexman28]

Originally Posted by Gimpgimp12

Thank you all for your well wishes and replies. I think there may be some confusion as to what my thread was about. I'm not trying to decide between getting the IVF treatment or a watch. The IVF treatments are happening regardless. My question was whether or not it was realistic for me to be trying to save for a gift for myself for our 10 year anniversary while still paying off the treatments. Or in other words, is it selfish of me to be trying to get that rolex before we pay off this debt?

If it doesn't affect your lifestyle a little debt is OK. The good thing about rolex if you get into a watch for a great price and end up in a jam you can get rid of it for a minimal loss, break even or make a little cash if you have long enough. Good luck if you end up getting your rolex please share with the forum

[AF_Rob]

Maybe go with a wedding year Rolex? 10 year old watch, you'll save thousands. Just a thought.

[DoxaDavid]

Originally Posted by LightOnAHill

If you have debt for the medical stuff and its on a payment plan, then consider how much the interest is on that, and what benefit will be in paying it off faster, and weigh that benefit against the considerable price increases Rolex does every so often.

If its a low interest rate, then I would do both: get the Rolex and keep making payments on the medical bills. If you can't pay the medical bills in full, and have to make payments, then make the payments and don't let the urge to want to pay it off quick affect your life.

If its possible, try to find some other means to finance the medical bills like a home equity loan so the cost of debt isn't as high.

Above all, remember there's a balance in everything, so wanting a Rolex isn't bad or selfish, as long as it doesn't affect your day to day life. If that purchase will strap your family, then it's not worth it. If it won't, then it is worth it.

AND, talk to your wife about the whole thing and how you feel and level with her.

She can give you way better advice on this than any of us can because she knows you and your heart.

Bingo!

[chicfarmer1]

Originally Posted by Lisa

No brainer to me.... the gift of a baby is better than any material item. Use the money for the treatment.

Yep. Best of luck.

[montpyt]

Originally Posted by Lisa

No brainer to me.... the gift of a baby is better than any material item. Use the money for the treatment.

Well said

[handsfull]

Originally Posted by springer

X2. If anything, get the wife a Rolex.

My thoughts EXACTLY. Is the watch to mark the occasion for YOU or your wife??


Having 3 kids under 10, I must inject....kids in general are spendy, if you have ANY doubts on your finance's....abort the watch purchase.