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TARDIS · 6 January 2006, 09:02 PM

Three men died on Christmas Eve and were met by Saint Peter at the pearly gates.
"In honor of this holy season," Saint Peter said, "you must each possess something that symbolizes Christmas to get into heaven."

The first man fumbled through his pockets and pulled out a lighter. He flicked it on. "It represents a candle," he said.
"You may pass through the pearly gates," Saint Peter said.

The second man reached into his pocket and pulled out a set of keys. He shook them and said, "They're bells."
Saint Peter said, "You may pass through the pearly gates."

The third man started searching desperately through his pockets and finally pulled out a pair of women's panties.
St. Peter looked at the man with a raised eyebrow and asked, "And just what do those symbolize?"

The man replied, "These are Carols."

For those of you joke experts who haven't heard this one before.........

This is my first joke people. If no-one laughs then it will be my last!
Steve

ralphieralph · 7 January 2006, 12:54 AM

Rockrolex · 7 January 2006, 01:18 AM

Is that better, Steve?

JJ Irani · 7 January 2006, 03:58 AM

Good one, Steve....but can I see Carol too (without her panties, of course)?

TARDIS · 7 January 2006, 07:12 AM

Thanks guys.

I can't help you JJ, but you should be able to fantisise!

mailman · 7 January 2006, 10:19 AM

TARDIS · 7 January 2006, 10:22 PM

A very successful lawyer parked his brand-new Lexus in front of his office, ready to show it off to his colleagues.
As he got out, a truck passed too close and tore off the door on the driver's side.
The lawyer immediately grabbed his cell phone, dialled 911, and within minutes a black & white pulled up.
Before the officer had a chance to ask any questions, the lawyer started screaming hysterically. His Lexus, which he had just picked up the day before, was now completely ruined no matter what the body shop did to it.
When the lawyer finally wound down from his ranting and raving, the officer shook his head in disgust and disbelief.

"I can not believe how materialistic you lawyers are," the cop said. "You are so focused on your possessions that you don't notice anything else?"
"How can you say such a thing?" asked the lawyer.
The cop replied, "Don''t you know that your left arm is missing from the elbow down? It must have been torn off when the truck hit you."

"My God!" screamed the lawyer. "My Rolex, My Rolex.!"

6 January 2006, 09:02 PM	#1
TARDIS "TRF" Member Join Date: Sep 2005 Real Name: Steve Location: Queensland, AUST Posts: 2,003	The Pearly Gates Three men died on Christmas Eve and were met by Saint Peter at the pearly gates. "In honor of this holy season," Saint Peter said, "you must each possess something that symbolizes Christmas to get into heaven." The first man fumbled through his pockets and pulled out a lighter. He flicked it on. "It represents a candle," he said. "You may pass through the pearly gates," Saint Peter said. The second man reached into his pocket and pulled out a set of keys. He shook them and said, "They're bells." Saint Peter said, "You may pass through the pearly gates." The third man started searching desperately through his pockets and finally pulled out a pair of women's panties. St. Peter looked at the man with a raised eyebrow and asked, "And just what do those symbolize?" The man replied, "These are Carols." For those of you joke experts who haven't heard this one before......... This is my first joke people. If no-one laughs then it will be my last! Steve

7 January 2006, 01:18 AM	#3
Rockrolex TRF Moderator & 2024 SubLV41 Patron Join Date: May 2005 Real Name: God Location: Washington, D.C. Watch: What do you think? Posts: 37,969	Is that better, Steve? __________________ Despite the high cost of living, it's still very popular. *Tosser Cabinet Member* Official Member: 'Perpetual 30' Vegas International GTG 2016 Official Member "WIS-CON" Las Vegas International GTG 2017 Official Member "WIS-CON" Las Vegas International GTG 2018 Official Member "WIS-CON" Las Vegas International GTG 2019

7 January 2006, 03:58 AM	#4
JJ Irani Fondly Remembered Join Date: May 2005 Real Name: JJ Location: Auckland, NZ Watch: ALL SOLD!! Posts: 74,319	Good one, Steve....but can I see Carol too (without her panties, of course)? __________________ Words fail me in expressing my utmost thanks to ALL of you for this wonderful support during my hour of need!! I firmly believe that my time on planet earth is NOT yet up!! I shall fight this to the very end.......and WIN!!

7 January 2006, 10:19 AM	#6
mailman TRF Moderator & SubLV41 2024 Patron Join Date: Oct 2005 Location: . Watch: 126610LN Posts: 35,510	__________________ JJ

7 January 2006, 10:22 PM	#7
TARDIS "TRF" Member Join Date: Sep 2005 Real Name: Steve Location: Queensland, AUST Posts: 2,003	New Lexus A very successful lawyer parked his brand-new Lexus in front of his office, ready to show it off to his colleagues. As he got out, a truck passed too close and tore off the door on the driver's side. The lawyer immediately grabbed his cell phone, dialled 911, and within minutes a black & white pulled up. Before the officer had a chance to ask any questions, the lawyer started screaming hysterically. His Lexus, which he had just picked up the day before, was now completely ruined no matter what the body shop did to it. When the lawyer finally wound down from his ranting and raving, the officer shook his head in disgust and disbelief. "I can not believe how materialistic you lawyers are," the cop said. "You are so focused on your possessions that you don't notice anything else?" "How can you say such a thing?" asked the lawyer. The cop replied, "Don''t you know that your left arm is missing from the elbow down? It must have been torn off when the truck hit you." "My God!" screamed the lawyer. "My Rolex, My Rolex.!"

7 January 2006, 12:54 AM	#2
ralphieralph "TRF" Member Join Date: Dec 2005 Real Name: Ahh..."LEROY" Location: connecticut Watch: SUBMARINER Posts: 681

7 January 2006, 07:12 AM	#5
TARDIS "TRF" Member Join Date: Sep 2005 Real Name: Steve Location: Queensland, AUST Posts: 2,003	Thanks guys. I can't help you JJ, but you should be able to fantisise!

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