New Lion at the Zoo

[Ruud Van Driver]

You might need to be British to fully 'get' this one, but here goes anyway............*

A man starts his new job at the zoo and is given three tasks.
The first is to clear the exotic fish pool of weeds. As he does this, a huge fish jumps out and bites him on the arm. Naturally offended, he decides to show the fish who's boss and he beats it to death with a spade. Realising his employer won't be best pleased, he disposes of the fish by feeding it to the lions because they'll eat anything.
He then moves on to his second job, which is clearing out the chimp house. Shortly after setting about his work, he is attacked by a few chimps and they start pelting him with coconuts. Not a happy chappie, he starts swinging his spade at them and manages to clobber two of the chimps around the head and ends up killing them both. He quickly realises that he's inconvenienced himself again so he decides to feed the dead chimps to the lions, because lions eat anything. He quickly hurls the corpses into the lion enclosure.
He then moves on to his last job of the day, which is to collect honey from the South American Bees. As soon as he starts, a mob of bees set upon him and start stinging him half to death. Thoroughly annoyed, he puts his spade swinging arm into gear and smashes the bees to a pulp. Very experienced by now, he knows what to do and shovels them into the lions cage because the lions will eat anything.
Later that day a new lion arrives at the zoo. He wanders up to another lion and says "What's the food like in here?" The other lion says: "Absolutely brilliant! Today we had fish and chimps with mushy bees."



Thank you, thank you, I'm here all week




*In some parts of the UK, a favoured dish at the local chippie (chip shop) is fish, chips (what our American brethren call 'French Fries') and mushy peas. The peas are cooked to oblivion, which makes them 'mushy'. Personally, I think it's a revolting combination and would quite cheerfully eat sh*t and stick needles in my eyes before accepting that garbage in my mouth. Some folk love it though. To each his own

[Andad]

Joke:

Comments:

[bdex75]

Not a Brit, but got it.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[Dr. Robert]

:chuckle

[Psmith]

[SecondAmend]

Puns are wonderful humor in any culture or language. Thank you for sharing the joke and the back story.

[SOS]

i love fish and chips

[Hairdude1]

[BBL]

Heeeheee.....you have time on your hands, to our advantage, of course.
Thanks for chuckle... DM

[OmegaJJH]

Originally Posted by Ruud Van Driver

You might need to be British to fully 'get' this one, but here goes anyway............*

A man starts his new job at the zoo and is given three tasks.
The first is to clear the exotic fish pool of weeds. As he does this, a huge fish jumps out and bites him on the arm. Naturally offended, he decides to show the fish who's boss and he beats it to death with a spade. Realising his employer won't be best pleased, he disposes of the fish by feeding it to the lions because they'll eat anything.
He then moves on to his second job, which is clearing out the chimp house. Shortly after setting about his work, he is attacked by a few chimps and they start pelting him with coconuts. Not a happy chappie, he starts swinging his spade at them and manages to clobber two of the chimps around the head and ends up killing them both. He quickly realises that he's inconvenienced himself again so he decides to feed the dead chimps to the lions, because lions eat anything. He quickly hurls the corpses into the lion enclosure.
He then moves on to his last job of the day, which is to collect honey from the South American Bees. As soon as he starts, a mob of bees set upon him and start stinging him half to death. Thoroughly annoyed, he puts his spade swinging arm into gear and smashes the bees to a pulp. Very experienced by now, he knows what to do and shovels them into the lions cage because the lions will eat anything.
Later that day a new lion arrives at the zoo. He wanders up to another lion and says "What's the food like in here?" The other lion says: "Absolutely brilliant! Today we had fish and chimps with mushy bees."



Thank you, thank you, I'm here all week




*In some parts of the UK, a favoured dish at the local chippie (chip shop) is fish, chips (what our American brethren call 'French Fries') and mushy peas. The peas are cooked to oblivion, which makes them 'mushy'. Personally, I think it's a revolting combination and would quite cheerfully eat sh*t and stick needles in my eyes before accepting that garbage in my mouth. Some folk love it though. To each his own

VERY GOOD!!!!

However..... you've clearly been living in Singapore a little too long.
I don't think British chips from a chip shop could ever be likened to 'french fries' - They are unique

I also agree that fish, chips and mushy peas drowned in gravy is pretty disgusting

[Yuri.Popov]

Lol