How to identify an Indian

[Mars]

1. Everything you eat is savored in garlic, onion and tomatoes.
2. You try and reuse gift wrappers, gift boxes, and of course aluminum foil..
3. You are Always standing next to the two largest size suitcases at the Airport.
4. You arrive one or two hours late to a party - and think it's normal.
5. You peel the stamps off letters that the Postal Service missed to stamp.
6. You recycle Wedding Gifts, Birthday Gifts and Anniversary Gifts.
7. You name your children in rhythms (example, Sita & Gita, Ram & Shyam, Kamini & Shamini.)
8. All your children have pet names, which sound nowhere close to their real names.
9. You take Indian snacks anywhere it says 'No Food Allowed' .
10. You talk for an hour at the front door when leaving someone's house.
11. You load up the family car with as many people as possible.
12 . You use plastic to cover anything new in your house whether it's the remote control, VCR, carpet or new couch.
13. Your parents tell you not to care what your friends think, but they won't let you do certain things because of what the other 'Uncles and Aunties' will think.
14. You buy and display crockery, which is never used, as it is for special occasions, which never happen.
15. You have a vinyl tablecloth on your kitchen table.
16. You use grocery bags to hold garbage.
17. You keep leftover food in your fridge in as many numbers of bowls as possible.
18. Your kitchen shelf is full of jars, varieties of bowls and plastic utensils (got free with purchase of other stuff )
19. You carry a stash of your own food whenever you travel (and travel means any car ride longer than 15 minutes).
20. You own a rice cooker or a pressure cooker.
21. You fight over who pays the dinner bill.
22. You live with your parents and you are 40 years old. (And they prefer it that way).
23. You don't use measuring cups when cooking.
24. You never learnt how to stand in a queue.
25. You can only travel if there are 5 persons at least to see you off or receive you whether you are traveling by bus, train or plane.
26. If she is NOT your daughter, you always take interest in knowing whose daughter has run with whose son and feel proud to spread it at the velocity of more than the speed of light.
27. Your wedding gifts are mostly in cash with a one rupee coin added to the note in a cover.
28. If you don't live at home, when your parents call, they ask if you've eaten, even if it's midnight.
29. You call an older person you never met before Uncle or Aunty.
30. When your parents meet strangers and talk for a few minutes, you discover you're talking to a distant cousin.
31. Your parents don't realize phone connections to foreign countries have improved in the last two decades, and still scream at the top of their lungs when making foreign calls.
32. You have bed sheets on your sofas so as to keep them from getting dirty..
33. It's embarrassing if your wedding has less than 600 people.
34. All your Tupperware is stained with food color.
35. You have drinking glasses made of steel.
36. You have mastered the art of bargaining in shopping.
37. You have really enjoyed reading this - forward it to as many Indians as possible



And finally, you never talk good about India and Indians, and are ashamed of saying that you are an Indian!

[JJ Irani]

You got all that right, buddy......but forgot the most important thing:

Giving a bloody, atrocious looking, gold-plated POS RADO Diastar as a "dowry" gift!!!

[swatty]

[limbo]

[ROLEX MAN]

[Welshwatchman]

I thought that you were trying to be offensive Mars.

Then I realised that you were Indian and just parodying yourself.

[DSJ]

I had a Bengali girlfriend - I loved her family, but this is so true on so many levels!

[TDH]

[Ashley]

In my experience, many points are true. I also realized that many of these points are true to me personally as well. I mean, don't a lot of people use grocery bags for their garbage?

[Mars]

Originally Posted by JJ Irani

You got all that right, buddy......but forgot the most important thing:

Giving a bloody, atrocious looking, gold-plated POS RADO Diastar as a "dowry" gift!!!

You got dowry?? Lucky sod. I'm still waiting for mine. Her bloody brothers keep 'loaning' off the parents; hence nothing for me

[Mars]

Originally Posted by Welshwatchman

I thought that you were trying to be offensive Mars.

Then I realised that you were Indian and just parodying yourself.

Hey, I no Indian. I'm married to one....well, Anglo anyway

[Mars]

Originally Posted by DSJ

I had a Bengali girlfriend - I loved her family, but this is so true on so many levels!

Bengali? Did you stroke the stone phallic? To the mods - this is a reference to the god Kali

[figbo]

Originally Posted by Mars

Hey, I no Indian. I'm married to one....well, Anglo anyway

[jasonbellevue]

[chevycorvette]

last time i counted.

1 little 2 little 3 little indian.

[Bisquitlips]