Bank Account Reaches High But Desire Fades?

[snow_rocks]

Originally Posted by ChickoftheSea

After buying I don't know how many Rolexes and several Porsches and my third boat and several really good cameras, and on and on, I am relieved to see that there are others who share my penchant for "the chase".

I think it's time for me to ask, when I get in this obsessive place, what else can I focus on that might actually help someone and make me think as I lay on my deathbed - how did all that gorging on "things" help anyone?!?!?

This is not to pass judgement on anyone else, but to acknowledge that I understand the bewilderment of why, after all that looking and researching and getting, there is such a let-down...maybe on some level we know that perhaps there is a better, deeper, more meaningful use of our time and money, and maybe we feel a little self-indulgent.

I also venture to offer that since 9/11, we have learned that life can be tragically short, and perhaps we've on some level adopted the "if I don't get it now, I may never have it" sense of urgency.

Obviously, I have no answers but I find comfort in the questions of others. Thank you each for coming forward!

Almost like a shoulda, woulda, coulda syndrome, and then the second guessing!

[RolexCat]

Well put Taffi, that sounds like me. Thats why i really wait to buy something, and not to just buy something to fill a void. Ron

[JJ Irani]

Originally Posted by speedo

The chase is better than the catch.

Yes, more so if it involves the absence of a bezel protector!!

[spuds]

Originally Posted by Taffi Abernathy

I believe what you are describing is associated with the concept of habituation. We see something which grabs our fancy - a watch, a car, a boat. We tell ourselves that our life will in some way improve by owning this item, e.g., heightened self-esteem, gaining the admiration of others, adding fun, etc. We purchase the item and initially feel good, but after repeated use, it loses its novelty and excitement (habituation). So it's back on the treadmill to chase the next "thing" which promises to bring something wonderful into our lives. Part of the problem (potentially) involves the use of new toys to fill an emotional need. We elevate a want into a need. Think about it, it's really not about chasing the item, it's about chasing a particular feeling. Because material items can't fill an emotional need, one needs to then chase the next item . . . and the next . . . and the next. You are left insatiable.

WOW.









.......& there was me thinking I just like wearing a nice watch & having something a bit more personal than money that I can leave my boys too.

[rfknauss]

Originally Posted by Taffi Abernathy

I believe what you are describing is associated with the concept of habituation. We see something which grabs our fancy - a watch, a car, a boat. We tell ourselves that our life will in some way improve by owning this item, e.g., heightened self-esteem, gaining the admiration of others, adding fun, etc. We purchase the item and initially feel good, but after repeated use, it loses its novelty and excitement (habituation). So it's back on the treadmill to chase the next "thing" which promises to bring something wonderful into our lives. Part of the problem (potentially) involves the use of new toys to fill an emotional need. We elevate a want into a need. Think about it, it's really not about chasing the item, it's about chasing a particular feeling. Because material items can't fill an emotional need, one needs to then chase the next item . . . and the next . . . and the next. You are left insatiable.

Faith, that is a wonderful explanation ........ thank you!

[ESKO]

Originally Posted by 2005rivers

I'm an impulse buyer, so no I don't have that problem.

Me too, my problem is REGRET! hahahha

[ESKO]

Originally Posted by Taffi Abernathy

I believe what you are describing is associated with the concept of habituation. We see something which grabs our fancy - a watch, a car, a boat. We tell ourselves that our life will in some way improve by owning this item, e.g., heightened self-esteem, gaining the admiration of others, adding fun, etc. We purchase the item and initially feel good, but after repeated use, it loses its novelty and excitement (habituation). So it's back on the treadmill to chase the next "thing" which promises to bring something wonderful into our lives. Part of the problem (potentially) involves the use of new toys to fill an emotional need. We elevate a want into a need. Think about it, it's really not about chasing the item, it's about chasing a particular feeling. Because material items can't fill an emotional need, one needs to then chase the next item . . . and the next . . . and the next. You are left insatiable.

I have pondered this several times in my life. I always wondered how in relationships you always have to add "new" things and stuff like that to rekindle emotional feelings from the start of the relationship. Then I thought "women get bored too easy", but than I thought more and said, everyone enjoys novelty no matter who they are, it is human nature.
In reference to the above, I think you hit the nail on the head Faith.
It is still weird how we can't accept complacency like it is bad thing and as humans we desire new and fun things all the time. Emotions are such an interesting topic--Ride the Rollet Coaster!
hhahahaha

[Taffi Abernathy]

Originally Posted by spuds

Took me eighteen months to save for my GMTIIc & I've only had it a few days & I almost miss that 'hunger' even though I lurrrrrrrrve my watch!

I don't think it's that the watch is a disappointment as such but more acurately..... IMHO.... the thrill of that particular chase is over.

(So I've set my sights on another one!!)

Originally Posted by spuds

WOW.



.......& there was me thinking I just like wearing a nice watch & having something a bit more personal than money that I can leave my boys too.

Dear spuds,

Let's put your car into reverse gear and back up a few feet . . . Here are your two posts, each with a decidedly different tone. The first one left me with the impression that you were somewhat caught up in "the chase," and my narrative was directed towards providing information which might be helpful to those wanting a deeper understanding of the dynamics of the chase. In your second post, you present an entirely different scenario with different motivating factors. Even Freud acknowledged that "Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar." Take what works for you and leave the rest. Best wishes, Faith

[Taffi Abernathy]

Originally Posted by ESKO

I have pondered this several times in my life. I always wondered how in relationships you always have to add "new" things and stuff like that to rekindle emotional feelings from the start of the relationship. Then I thought "women get bored too easy", but than I thought more and said, everyone enjoys novelty no matter who they are, it is human nature.
In reference to the above, I think you hit the nail on the head Faith.
It is still weird how we can't accept complacency like it is bad thing and as humans we desire new and fun things all the time. Emotions are such an interesting topic--Ride the Rollet Coaster!
hhahahaha

Nicely stated, Luis.

[ducatidoc]

Ok, now that we've all revealed our various levels of desire and self-indulgence along with our shame at admitting same, then had the associated psycho-babble thrown in for good measure, anyone else up for a nice Friday afternoon aperitif followed by a weekend of self-gratification and a bit of power-shopping ?

C'mon folks. Lighten up ! What the hell are we working for ??

[Lion]

I used to be impulsive and buy things I really didn't need but as stated the feeling of elation was great for about 5 seconds and then off again to the races.....Now I categorize purchases as wants and needs. As Faith stated and my understanding of her comments, needs are food, clothing and shelter and everything else is "wants". When I look at something I want I now take my time and think things through. The item will still be there in a week or month so there is no longer a rush to satisfy my desires. If I still want it at a later date I can buy it but being impulsive has been taken out of the equation!!!

[rsg]

Originally Posted by Taffi Abernathy

Even Freud acknowledged that "Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar." Take what works for you and leave the rest. Best wishes, Faith

Faith, have you read Running with Scissors? I'm about halfway through it and so far it's an interesting read.


When something starts to lose it luster for me I try to use it to see if I still want it. My watches for example, I try to take them out every weekend to clean and polish them. When doing so I remember where I bought them ( Datejust, family vacation to Mexico), why I bought them (President, sold my first company), and what I was feeling at the time, etc. This usually results in something that has been sitting for a while making it's way back into regular rotation.
The chase is always exciting, but I rarely get buyers remorse.

[spuds]

Originally Posted by Taffi Abernathy

Dear spuds,

Let's put your car into reverse gear and back up a few feet . . . Here are your two posts, each with a decidedly different tone. The first one left me with the impression that you were somewhat caught up in "the chase," and my narrative was directed towards providing information which might be helpful to those wanting a deeper understanding of the dynamics of the chase. In your second post, you present an entirely different scenario with different motivating factors. Even Freud acknowledged that "Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar." Take what works for you and leave the rest. Best wishes, Faith

No offence no disrespect intended Faith I assure you.

I just honestly don't believe my watches (nor the 'thrill of the chase') is in any way a replacement for something I'm lacking emotionally, nor psychologically.

I enjoy the 'hunt'.
I enjoy the 'chase'.
I enjoy wearing the watch.



By my second post I simply meant that I don't (over?) analyze any aspect of it.

However I formally & publicly apologise if I 'appeared' disrespectful to you in any way: it was honestly not my intention & you are obviously entitled to your (well-respected) opinion.

[seedgun]

I'm afraid Faith is correct, thus I need to try to truly understand my motivations. If I'm doing it for the knowlege and the great folks I get to meet as I expand my various collections it's probably fine.
If I'm doing it just for the thrill of acquisition probably not so good. If I'm doing it so that I have inventory to open a Pawn shop someday probably good.
Oh well this is getting to serious here, I'd better go back to the for sale section.
Andy

[Taffi Abernathy]

Originally Posted by Lion

I used to be impulsive and buy things I really didn't need but as stated the feeling of elation was great for about 5 seconds and then off again to the races.....Now I categorize purchases as wants and needs. As Faith stated and my understanding of her comments, needs are food, clothing and shelter and everything else is "wants". When I look at something I want I now take my time and think things through. The item will still be there in a week or month so there is no longer a rush to satisfy my desires. If I still want it at a later date I can buy it but being impulsive has been taken out of the equation!!!

Originally Posted by rsg

Faith, have you read Running with Scissors? I'm about halfway through it and so far it's an interesting read.


When something starts to lose it luster for me I try to use it to see if I still want it. My watches for example, I try to take them out every weekend to clean and polish them. When doing so I remember where I bought them ( Datejust, family vacation to Mexico), why I bought them (President, sold my first company), and what I was feeling at the time, etc. This usually results in something that has been sitting for a while making it's way back into regular rotation.
The chase is always exciting, but I rarely get buyers remorse.

Leo and Richard,

Great strategies, guys, for appreciating what you have and deferring gratification. (I've not read "Running With Scissors" but am always looking for new and interesting reading material, and will check into it.)

[Taffi Abernathy]

Originally Posted by spuds

No offence no disrespect intended Faith I assure you.

I just honestly don't believe my watches (nor the 'thrill of the chase') is in any way a replacement for something I'm lacking emotionally, nor psychologically.

I enjoy the 'hunt'.
I enjoy the 'chase'.
I enjoy wearing the watch.



By my second post I simply meant that I don't (over?) analyze any aspect of it.

However I formally & publicly apologise if I 'appeared' disrespectful to you in any way: it was honestly not my intention & you are obviously entitled to your (well-respected) opinion.

Dan,

I believe you and am not in the least bit offended. In fact, I appreciate your clarification. People can be motivated to do things for any number of reasons. (I just wish I were one of your beneficiaries! ) Take care, Faith

[mpkRolex]

I dont have patience like you. I end up buying immediately and if I dont I usually lose interest in it and something else catches my attention.