Is there such a thing as gender disappointment

[East Bay Rider]

It took us a while to conceive so we were just grateful to be having anything. Boy, girl, healthy, unhealthy - whatever. I knew we'd make it work. I loved that baby before I met him and then it was just... More.
Now, understand I was never into sports so I kind of dreaded having a boy and I thought it'd be easier to have a daughter. Guess what. - I had a son who's totally devoted to sports of all kinds so I had to go learn sports because it's all about doing what they love - not convincing them to love what you love.

[Art 1]

Originally Posted by ChuckFinlay

I have a girl here, just turned 16, and she's still a daddies girl. I look at her sometimes and can't imagine a 16yr old boy still wanting cuddles and making my heart melt every time I look at him, so for me, a girl is great...but as others have said, healthy is what matters!

My daughter is off at University now. But when she was in high school she had a part time job. When she worked evenings I would park down a way in the parking lot and watch her leave the store since it was dark and follow her while she drove home. Just to be on the safe side. To this day she does not know that I did that. Never worried about my son that way, figured he could handle himself if he needed to.

[77T]

Only you can answer why the preference persisted.
But I can assure you there are challenges with either gender...

[ChuckFinlay]

Originally Posted by Art 1

My daughter is off at University now. But when she was in high school she had a part time job. When she worked evenings I would park down a way in the parking lot and watch her leave the store since it was dark and follow her while she drove home. Just to be on the safe side. To this day she does not know that I did that. Never worried about my son that way, figured he could handle himself if he needed to.

We must be kindred spirits my daughter will learn to drive this coming December, and nothing has scared me as much as thinking about her going out alone in a car, my thoughts now of maybe just subtly following her for the first few months don't seem as crazy now

[james1787]

Our daughter was just born last month. You're gonna get what you're get, all I can hope for is that the baby is healthy (and mom too!). I really wasn't hoping for one or the other as I knew I would be happy either way to be a parent and raise a child. Girl, boy, healthy, unhealthy we'd love our baby the same. Congratulations on having a daughter on the way!

[Manofsteelpt]

Congrats Stephan!!!

I would say 99% of us boys WANT a boy (at least for a 1st child)... I'm sure you will love and spoil her to death!

[gulfstream69xr7]

Originally Posted by stephentross

And am I a bad person for slightly feeling this.

My wife is now 26 weeks pregnant and

drum roll.

ITS A GIRL.

I am very excited. We found out last week. And every day I am excited to have a daddy's girl and I have no doubt I am wrapped around her finger. Her finger is very small and already, I feel this tremendous amount of love.

I also have a new found respect for all women. Amazing what you feel when you have a daughter on the way.

When I first found out however. I had swaying mixed emotions and really wanted a boy. My wife was a little upset that I felt that way, I think it is normal eh?

It's normal, you'll get over it.

When my wife was pregnant with my daughter I was slighly disappointed.

Then she was born.

23 years later (and one son later) she is the most awesome young woman I know.

All the "boy" things I wanted to do, I did with her. She can bass fish circles around most men, she can rebuild an air cooled four with her own hands, Knows every position in baseball, football and hockey, and she will go beer for beer with most guys I know.

Enjoy every minute of her young life.

It goes by very quickly.

[Art 1]

Originally Posted by ChuckFinlay

We must be kindred spirits my daughter will learn to drive this coming December, and nothing has scared me as much as thinking about her going out alone in a car, my thoughts now of maybe just subtly following her for the first few months don't seem as crazy now

Do it! Even now, she is away at a very large city. I still have trouble thinking about her driving there. And she knows, if she runs into any problems, and she has, that daddy will be there with a big stick in hand. And she has told people that.

[GermanyMatt]

My 4 year old daughter routinely says to me, "Dad, I can't wait to grow up and be a boy like you!!"

[htc8p]

lol. i thought you were disappointed with your gender (joke) i have a friend who's like that.

anyway back to topic. yes i have felt that. kept saying to the ultrasound doctor that what we were looking at was our baby girl. then i asked the doctor "are those balls??"

so it was probably better that i broke the news to myself. anyway when he came out. i am just as happy. the house is going to be a riot.

[ROGERWILCO357]

well i had 2 boys before my daughter finally made the scene and her sister was our last but man that took 5 another 5 boys lol all 9 healthy and growing up so fast man time just passes so fast before you know it they are in college graduating and you still worry. Seems the worrying never stops..oh well congrats on the new addition enjoy her she will grow up fast…
Roger

[mailman]

Originally Posted by Art 1

Do it! Even now, she is away at a very large city. I still have trouble thinking about her driving there. And she knows, if she runs into any problems, and she has, that daddy will be there with a big stick in hand. And she has told people that.

[kilyung]

Originally Posted by Lisa

Have you seen that "Permission to Date My Daughter" handout?

Oh yes. I've already got one printed out. I've got tracking and surveillance equipment ready to go. My *we don't discuss on TRF*s will be fully displayed while being "cleaned" if a boy ever comes around.

My father-in-law was pretty blunt. He had some heavies visit me and tell me how it was going to be. So I'm being lenient in comparison.

[Art 1]

Originally Posted by kilyung

Oh yes. I've already got one printed out. I've got tracking and surveillance equipment ready to go. My *we don't discuss on TRF*s will be fully displayed while being "cleaned" if a boy ever comes around.

My father-in-law was pretty blunt. He had some heavies visit me and tell me how it was going to be. So I'm being lenient in comparison.

I've sat a few of them down, just so the knew who they would be dealing with if there was ever a problems.

[RolexDivers]

For me, gender disappointment is when the opposite gender does not give me the time of day! ha ha ha...

[wjgoretsky]

My first was a girl, she is 13 now and the second was a boy who is 11.
My daughter does EVERYTHING that I do. She is my Sushi buddy, she wears camo tights when we shop at Bass Pro and she hunts and fishes with me. She it a total Tom boy and drives my son crazy. My son is a hockey fanatic, plays goal on a PeeWee team and my wife takes him to all of his games and practices. I would rather endure root canal therapy than have ANYTHING to do with hockey.
Whatever you end up with, it all works out and your kids will mirror you with whatever experiences and things they are exposed to.
My daughter now comes into town once a month and has an elegant lunch with me during the week and I treat her like a princess. On weekends, we shoot target practice and skeet.
What a blast.

My son gardens with me and is the sports fanatic and comes to the gym with me and we work out together.

Just invest your time with your kids.

That's why I'm so obsessed with time and watches. You can see it tick by so quickly. It's the quality of time spent that matters.

Cheers

W

[mjclark32]

Big congrats!
(I would/will hope for boys too)

[East Bay Rider]

[Widows Son]

We have one child, a son 28 months old. I'd be dishonest if I said I wasn't secretly hoping for a boy. I'm the only son, and my dad was an only child. Went to lunch today with the guys from Lodge and one brought his 2 year old granddaughter. I had fun with her and made me realize that I would have been very happy with a girl too. PS, guys don't tell your wife that you have a preference, after all the male decides the gender!!!!

[MichaelB_Can]

When I first read the tittle I was thinking (pre-op) , a guy that wants to be a girl . Lol


Mike B , Canada ⌚

[z32turbo]

Any mixed feeling will be out the window 10 seconds after the baby arrives. It's a great feeling!!

[gwozhog]

My buddy was just like you when he found out he was having a girl. When his wife was pregnant with there second child and it was a girl he was even more agitated. When she was pregnant with there third child and it was a girl the word he used was I'm cursed. Funny thing is he is a really great father. He is the center of the universe for his 3 girls and loves it now. I would not worry about if its a boy or girl. Once you see her for the first time your life is changed forever. God luck to you and your wife.

[threemonkeys]

Had we given birth to a Chia pet we would still be happy. Babies are so precious and all we wanted was a healthy child.

[unclesallie]

Congratulations, and by the way, whatever you 'wanted' a girl is what you've got!
Very cool!

[cajunron]

Congrats to you and your wife, Stephen. When my wife was pregnant with our child, I actually wanted a little girl. Once my son was born, all of that went right out of the window. You will never know the love that is possible once you hold your own flesh and blood in your arms. I was completely overwhelmed. You can still buy LSU and Saints clothes for a little girl!

[A.Sharp]

Congrats my friend!!!!

[Culley22]

Too Funny!!!

I wanted a girl, and was glad our first one was. Never been happier....until I had to wipe a vagina. That threw me.

Child #2 was on the way...and did i ever want a BOY. And...had a boy. Glad to carry on the name. Best part of it all was when the wife said one day: "I changed him the morning the other day and he had morning wood...and I didn't know what to do." Made me happy to hear that the "other sex" throws the other sex for a loop.

Best part, the other day (daughter is 4, son is 8 months) I told my wife: "i'm not sure i'm ready to be a parent." Seriously...a baby is easy...a 4 year old is something all in its own!!

[Rock]

1 second after she is born all thoughts about gender will have disappeared.
Anyhow, you're not planning to have just one child, are you?
Roll the dice again!

[AK797]

Personally Id much rather have girls, boys are generally more disgusting, smelly, violent and less communicative/verbal. However once they become teenagers then Id like a magic switch to turn them into boys, nothing worse for a father than a teenage girl who suddenly thinks youre now embarrasing and sex mad boys are great!

[Boopie]

My husband and I have two boys, and we've had many men tell us privately that they were disappointed when they first found out their wives were having girls.

That being said, any "disappointment" had to do with initial expectations and the news. Once their daughters were born they were totally, completely in love, with no regrets.

I have also heard very many moms say that when they found out they were pregnant with child #2, they wondered if they would love the child as much as their #1--who, of course, is the recipient of all of their current maternal love. Once baby #2 is born, though, the feeling immediately passes, they are completely smitten with baby love all over again, and the moms wonder what the heck they were thinking.

So, I think what you're feeling is normal, but it will pass.