How to clean a Rolex?

[redshirt1957]

Originally Posted by Jimbits76

I get sixteen vestal virgins to wash mine. Each rubs up a lather on their nubile thigh then allows my watch to brush gently against their delicate skin...only once!!!!!!!

Once that stage is done, I get an old crone to beat it with a salt encrusted Codfish forty times, no more, no less. It has to be forty. Any number other than forty and the moon will fall into the sun and we will all be destroyed from the resulting supernova.

Stage three is to rinse the watch thoroughly in the clear crystal glacial streams of the Antarctic ice flows. The watch is designed to take the extreme cold and if you add a stick of gum it leaves it feeling minty fresh.

Stage four...the watch is then place onto the supple forlock of an Alpaca. The exercise not only winds the watch but the soft fur gently dries the steel case.

Stage five. One hundred kittens are fed yellow skittles candy and they use their sweet baby kitten breath to air dry my beloved watch. This allows all droplets of moisture to leave the bracelet. You have not experienced dry until you feel 'kitten-dry'!

Finally the crystal is inspected for damage and gently given a buff by seven diamond mining dwarves. Diamond mining Dwarves are the best at knowing their quality crystal and minerals although they are desperate to leave at five pm as they need to get home to their lady friend "who was as white as snow, as red as blood, and as black as ebony wood"!!!!!!

These yahoos posting here with their soap and water have no idea about cleaning these fantastic, extremely valuable and much better than all other brands timepieces.

Good luck with the cleaning!

J

Geez Jim! I love the poet in you, but this ole' redneck could say it in a lot fewer words. So here goes....If you were a dog and your rolex were your dangle bits; the cleaning would be done often and quickly.

[DanP]

Originally Posted by Jimbits76

I get sixteen vestal virgins to wash mine. Each rubs up a lather on their nubile thigh then allows my watch to brush gently against their delicate skin...only once!!!!!!!

Once that stage is done, I get an old crone to beat it with a salt encrusted Codfish forty times, no more, no less. It has to be forty. Any number other than forty and the moon will fall into the sun and we will all be destroyed from the resulting supernova.

Stage three is to rinse the watch thoroughly in the clear crystal glacial streams of the Antarctic ice flows. The watch is designed to take the extreme cold and if you add a stick of gum it leaves it feeling minty fresh.

Stage four...the watch is then place onto the supple forlock of an Alpaca. The exercise not only winds the watch but the soft fur gently dries the steel case.

Stage five. One hundred kittens are fed yellow skittles candy and they use their sweet baby kitten breath to air dry my beloved watch. This allows all droplets of moisture to leave the bracelet. You have not experienced dry until you feel 'kitten-dry'!

Finally the crystal is inspected for damage and gently given a buff by seven diamond mining dwarves. Diamond mining Dwarves are the best at knowing their quality crystal and minerals although they are desperate to leave at five pm as they need to get home to their lady friend "who was as white as snow, as red as blood, and as black as ebony wood"!!!!!!

These yahoos posting here with their soap and water have no idea about cleaning these fantastic, extremely valuable and much better than all other brands timepieces.

Good luck with the cleaning!

J

man i just laughed for like 5 minutes at this

[TheVTCGuy]

Originally Posted by JJ Irani

Now why doesn't your reply surprise me?

Come on JJ! Make my day, CALL HIM A TOSSER!!!!

Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaasssssssssssssssssse eeeeeeeeeeeeeee

[mgm]

Originally Posted by Parachrom

in the maytag...doesnt that chip the ceramic in the washer???

Yeah, usually.

[CKay]

I never have to clean mine as I wear mine to the shower once a week. Wipe dry with a lint free spectacle cloth.

[Mrdi]

Originally Posted by mgm

Yeah, usually.

Cool thing about Maytag chips is people think you're a real diver.
Or at least certified?

[steel4me]

I am surprised no one posted the most annoying answer:

VERY CAREFULLY!!!!

[JJ Irani]

Originally Posted by Jimbits76

I get sixteen vestal virgins to wash mine. Each rubs up a lather on their nubile thigh then allows my watch to brush gently against their delicate skin...only once!!!!!!!

Once that stage is done, I get an old crone to beat it with a salt encrusted Codfish forty times, no more, no less. It has to be forty. Any number other than forty and the moon will fall into the sun and we will all be destroyed from the resulting supernova.

Stage three is to rinse the watch thoroughly in the clear crystal glacial streams of the Antarctic ice flows. The watch is designed to take the extreme cold and if you add a stick of gum it leaves it feeling minty fresh.

Stage four...the watch is then place onto the supple forlock of an Alpaca. The exercise not only winds the watch but the soft fur gently dries the steel case.

Stage five. One hundred kittens are fed yellow skittles candy and they use their sweet baby kitten breath to air dry my beloved watch. This allows all droplets of moisture to leave the bracelet. You have not experienced dry until you feel 'kitten-dry'!

Finally the crystal is inspected for damage and gently given a buff by seven diamond mining dwarves. Diamond mining Dwarves are the best at knowing their quality crystal and minerals although they are desperate to leave at five pm as they need to get home to their lady friend "who was as white as snow, as red as blood, and as black as ebony wood"!!!!!!

These yahoos posting here with their soap and water have no idea about cleaning these fantastic, extremely valuable and much better than all other brands timepieces.

Good luck with the cleaning!

J

Absolutely hilarious!!

[brettpaul]

Thanks very much for all of the feedback on cleaning!

[Rolexitis]

Good Lord people....water, soap, toothbrush and dry it with a T-shirt! It's a watch not a 2 million year old dinosaur bone in a damn museum