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10 June 2009, 10:34 AM | #31 |
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10 June 2009, 10:35 AM | #32 |
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Having mexican food again
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10 June 2009, 01:38 PM | #33 |
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Had the dropped ceiling collapse on me during a Homecoming dance.
Needless to ay, I blew off prom. |
10 June 2009, 05:16 PM | #34 | |
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Quote:
Georgia Goosers J |
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10 June 2009, 05:37 PM | #35 |
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10 June 2009, 06:06 PM | #36 |
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10 June 2009, 10:04 PM | #37 |
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10 June 2009, 10:05 PM | #38 | |
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10 June 2009, 10:30 PM | #39 |
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Well, I certainly have no story that matches any of the ones posted here. Only to say, I knew I should have resisted clicking on the lead, but just couldn't. Faith, you've outdone yourself. Your triumphant return to TRF is complete, and you've attracted the 'elite'.
Martin: There simply are no words......you've left me speechless. Jen: whoa, girl. that is one yucko date. |
10 June 2009, 10:36 PM | #40 | |
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Quote:
It is probably the flipside of Jen's tale. I once went out with a girl when I was a sixth former...I was around 17 years old. This was the first girl I'd been out with since a bad teen relationship so I was a little nervous and uncomfortable. We went to a party at a friend parent's house. They had a barbecue and drinks (underage yikes!). Like an idiot I left the girl and went talking to my friends only to discover they had some rather dodgy looking scrumpy cider in a big gallon plastic jug. Moron here decided to have a few swigs of this warm, apple sauce thick, lumpy potent witch's brew. After a few pink hot dogs and a bit more cider I was feeling a little more relaxed. The girl whose party it was told us her parent's were going to let everybody stay. My date fluttered her eyes and we decided to crash the night to...perhaps get a bit of cuddling and kissing going on whilst tucked up on the living room floor with everybody else. Anyhoo...as soon as I laid down beside her, something was amiss with my internals. My stomach made the most awful gurgling sound and hurt like hell. I made my excuses, ran to the nearest bathroom and let it all out. The sound and smell were horrific. Unfortunately for me, a few of the girls, including my date were concerned about sensitive, nice old Jamie and knocked gently to enquire if I was okay. Even more unfortunately the response to them was a trumpeting squelchy chorus arrangement from my colon and a stench which was not unlike if you found a rotten eat stuffed inside a dead rat that had been buried for a year in sulphur. And...even more unfortunately I discovered the bloody toiler was broken and didn't flush. I wanted to die. Stuck in there for what seemed like an age, I finally had a stroke of genius. This is disgusting and I am so ashamed... I emptied the existing shampoo and bubble bath bottles down the basin plug hole. Then squeezing all of t6he air out of them, I placed them into the toilet (right in the middle of Joe's Friday Chilli special) and released my grip, thus sucking the contents into the bottles. I then pour the new contents down the sink and repeated. Following that I washed out the bottles and then poured some clean water into the toilet. After about 90 minutes I was done. I pretended I had passed out but it wasn't enough...I had to live with the aftermath...no kisses and cuddles for Jim. Later that year Dumb and Dumber came out and featured a similar scene...I bet you can all guess what my nickname was a while!!!!!! J |
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11 June 2009, 12:21 AM | #41 |
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Jim..... you have topped the frenulum story.
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11 June 2009, 12:30 AM | #42 |
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Jim, once again you have allowed me to laugh harder than I have all week!
No crazy stories for me, I'm afraid. The only unusual thing that ever happened was I went to homecoming with a friend of a friend because neither of us had been able to scrounge up a date. We ended up leaving the dance with other people.
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11 June 2009, 12:48 AM | #43 |
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Jim,
You poor pup (although it made for a great story!). |
11 June 2009, 12:55 AM | #44 |
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[QUOTE=Carolina;1212863]Seriously - bravo!!!
That guy's hair is about to take flight or something! If memory serves my divorce lawyer cited his hair as the primary grounds for divorce. |
11 June 2009, 01:03 AM | #45 |
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Jim that is truly disgusting and something you should never have owned up to
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11 June 2009, 01:47 AM | #46 |
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Jim, you really are some bored author stuck in a basement, aren't you?!
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11 June 2009, 02:36 AM | #47 |
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Pah...that aint the worst of it.
There is one story so shocking that if I posted it I'd be banned. It involved a hot woman, a very unusual request and premature...well you get the picture. J |
11 June 2009, 02:38 AM | #48 |
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11 June 2009, 02:39 AM | #49 |
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11 June 2009, 03:17 AM | #50 |
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The bus station
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11 June 2009, 03:20 AM | #51 |
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Jim, You are the man. Thats the funniest "guy" story I've heard in a long, long time! You must have been "legendary".
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11 June 2009, 03:22 AM | #52 |
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11 June 2009, 03:25 AM | #53 | |
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Stillwater was a nice little town back in 84 to 87 when the Ex wife from hell and I went there....She was a nice western Oklahoma farm girl....or so I thought....but nothing ever happened bad in Stillwater. The worst thing that happened to me was I was so drunk one night riding my new Harley home from Wet Willies I forgot to put my foot down at a stop sign....fell off and dented my gas tank....was to drunk that night to care but the next day I was P.O.ed |
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11 June 2009, 05:04 AM | #54 |
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11 June 2009, 08:40 AM | #55 |
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I wish Jen would have been my prom date, she looks hot in her sig!!
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11 June 2009, 01:39 PM | #56 |
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11 June 2009, 05:21 PM | #57 |
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11 June 2009, 05:40 PM | #58 |
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Jim, congratulations. YOU sire have hit new highs of lows, mr. colonoscopy#2.
woof...the waves of nausea...... |
11 June 2009, 07:08 PM | #59 |
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11 June 2009, 07:11 PM | #60 |
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