An open letter

[Uncle-AJ]

Originally Posted by Goodwatch

It's as if you were never gone, isn't it you Limey

Go and stick a chip in some mayonnaise Dutchy.

[Goodwatch]

Originally Posted by Carolina

Frans, I have four more of those fruity beers in my refrigerator - want one??

Fruity beer. It's like putting ice cubes in a glass of '47 Chateau Latour

[Goodwatch]

Originally Posted by Uncle-AJ

Go and stick a chip in some mayonnaise Dutchy.

We don't use mayonnaise you fool! It's called Frites Sauce, is isn't mayonnaise.

[Jimbits76]

Great post, BTW. By that I mean the one a page back or so, not the Judy Garland references!

Hey what's wrong with my pal Judy? She could belt out a mean tune!!!!!!!!

J

[Carolina]

Originally Posted by Jimbits76

Hey what's wrong with my pal Judy? She could belt out a mean tune!!!!!!!!

J

Yes she can!!

[Carolina]

Originally Posted by Goodwatch

Fruity beer. It's like putting ice cubes in a glass of '47 Chateau Latour

Oh, so now you tell me!! (ducks head in shame and flings cubes into the potted plant)

[Uncle-AJ]

Originally Posted by Goodwatch

We don't use mayonnaise you fool! It's called Frites Sauce, is isn't mayonnaise.

It should be called Frans Sauce.

[mailman]

I've dealt with weight issues my whole adult life Ashley and I know it isn't fun. Always wondering what the person is thinking when they're looking at you, not going to the pool party due to embarrassment of being seen in a bathing suit and the list goes on.

I started to do something about it a few years ago and I'm happy with the results, but still will only go swimming at my sister's house

The way I feel now is I really don't care what people think about my weight. I know I'll always be overweight, I just don't want to be fat again. As long as I can keep it in between the weight limits I have in my head, I'm happy

From the pictures you've posted, you've come a long way. You should be very proud of what you've accomplished. As long as you're happy, that's all that matters. I think Aadil would love you either way as well. I know my wife didn't love me any less when I was 42lbs heavier than I am now.

I still think "I only spent one hour at the gym today, or I didn't go Sat or Sun." But you know what, I'll make it up during the week. So we have that in common, so don't fret it if you don't get to spend as much time there as you'd like. You can always make the time up there if you like over the course of a few days.

You are one of the most beautiful young ladies I've ever seen, but what's more important is what you have on the inside. I'm pretty good at reading people and what I can get from you is you're inner beauty far exceeds what you have on the outside and that is saying a lot.

You have a great, kind and big heart. You also give 100% to those you love and who are close to you. So you see, you have everything going for you. Looks aren't what's most important, but you have those too.

[Jimbits76]

I've dealt with weight issues my whole adult life Ashley and I know it isn't fun. Always wondering what the person is thinking when they're looking at you, not going to the pool party due to embarrassment of being seen in a bathing suit and the list goes on.

I started to do something about it a few years ago and I'm happy with the results, but still will only go swimming at my sister's house

The way I feel now is I really don't care what people think about my weight. I know I'll always be overweight, I just don't want to be fat again. As long as I can keep it in between the weight limits I have in my head, I'm happy

From the pictures you've posted, you've come a long way. You should be very proud of what you've accomplished. As long as you're happy, that's all that matters. I think Aadil would love you either way as well. I know my wife didn't love me any less when I was 42lbs heavier than I am now.

I still think "I only spent one hour at the gym today, or I didn't go Sat or Sun." But you know what, I'll make it up during the week. So we have that in common, so don't fret it if you don't get to spend as much time there as you'd like. You can always make the time up there if you like over the course of a few days.

You are one of the most beautiful young ladies I've ever seen, but what's more important is what you have on the inside. I'm pretty good at reading people and what I can get from you is you're inner beauty far exceeds what you have on the outside and that is saying a lot.

You have a great, kind and big heart. You also give 100% to those you love and who are close to you. So you see, you have everything going for you. Looks aren't what's most important, but you have those too.

You sir, are a true gentleman and a star.

You have my respects and you deserve so much more.

Fantastic words, advice and sentiments.



I'm proud to be a part of this here Forum.

Jim

[JJ Irani]

Originally Posted by mailman

I've dealt with weight issues my whole adult life Ashley and I know it isn't fun. Always wondering what the person is thinking when they're looking at you, not going to the pool party due to embarrassment of being seen in a bathing suit and the list goes on.

I started to do something about it a few years ago and I'm happy with the results, but still will only go swimming at my sister's house

The way I feel now is I really don't care what people think about my weight. I know I'll always be overweight, I just don't want to be fat again. As long as I can keep it in between the weight limits I have in my head, I'm happy

From the pictures you've posted, you've come a long way. You should be very proud of what you've accomplished. As long as you're happy, that's all that matters. I think Aadil would love you either way as well. I know my wife didn't love me any less when I was 42lbs heavier than I am now.

I still think "I only spent one hour at the gym today, or I didn't go Sat or Sun." But you know what, I'll make it up during the week. So we have that in common, so don't fret it if you don't get to spend as much time there as you'd like. You can always make the time up there if you like over the course of a few days.

You are one of the most beautiful young ladies I've ever seen, but what's more important is what you have on the inside. I'm pretty good at reading people and what I can get from you is you're inner beauty far exceeds what you have on the outside and that is saying a lot.

You have a great, kind and big heart. You also give 100% to those you love and who are close to you. So you see, you have everything going for you. Looks aren't what's most important, but you have those too.

Beautiful sentiments, Paulie.....so nicely expressed. I'm sure our Ashley must feel pretty good now.

Thanks, buddy.....you're still the best tosser around!!

[jmk1]

I'm new on this forum and every day it amazes me how considerate and caring the people are on this site! I don't know why anyone would want 2 leave this site, this is the best one on the web. I really mean that!!!! Keep your chin up high, we all luv u here!!!!!!!

[Letsgodiving]

Ashley, I commend you for being so open in your struggles. My ex-wife and a couple of other women I have dated have had similar issues with their weight and as you can see from the other members of this forum it is not exclusive to women only. It is a lot more prevalent than many realize but you have recognized it as an issue in your life and have the courage to address it and you are ahead of the game because of that.

I have no doubt that with time you will be able to put this into perspective and put it behind you. You are a bright spot in this forum and I'm sure that you are in the life of all that interact with you. Rest assured that as you grow as a person and gain insight throughout life these issues will abate.

[Ashley]

Lisa, Jim(s), Paulie and Mike, thank you so much for your kind and insightful replies. Like Jim said, we all have our personal demons, and I'm so happy to hear all of these stories of triumph over our individual adversities. Thanks to everyone for their honesty and trust, you all have my utmost respect and love
I never would have expected to see this level of support anywhere. The people on this forum are amazing, and I'm so happy that I am a part of it.
It's also great to see the breaks of comedy amidst these heavy posts. You guys all make me crack up, as well as amaze me with your sincere kindness.

My love to all of you guys!!!

p.s. Joel, welcome to TRF. This site and the people that make it up are absolutely amazing, so stick around!

[mickeydainish]

Sorry sooo late Ash ,... but I just wanted to chip in my 2c. Thanx for such an open thread... and I am sure that you agree you have got an awsome support base here on TRF. I wish that I could wave a magic wand and make life perfect for you, but I cant so all I do is say that you are not alone. I know I have issues with myself aswell (see avatar for further info) but as I read that a wise man once said...

"...the biggest fences/obsticles in ones life... are the ones we build for ourselves in our own minds!!"

I wish you well, Ash, and I hope you will find your smile soon.

Mickey

[Ashley]

There's no such thing as late, Mickey! Have you seen the "At JJ's House" thread??
Thank you for your well wishes, and for that wise quote! And all of these replies have made me cry, laugh, and definitely smile!

Originally Posted by mickeydainish

Sorry sooo late Ash ,... but I just wanted to chip in my 2c. Thanx for such an open thread... and I am sure that you agree you have got an awsome support base here on TRF. I wish that I could wave a magic wand and make life perfect for you, but I cant so all I do is say that you are not alone. I know I have issues with myself aswell (see avatar for further info) but as I read that a wise man once said...

"...the biggest fences/obsticles in ones life... are the ones we build for ourselves in our own minds!!"

I wish you well, Ash, and I hope you will find your smile soon.

Mickey

[arttay10]

Originally Posted by Tags_girl_

My love to all of you guys!!!

Right back at you Ashley - your a Babe !!

[jdc]

Originally Posted by Jimbits76

Hey what's wrong with my pal Judy? She could belt out a mean tune!!!!!!!!

J

"Toto, I've a feeling we're not in Kansas anymore".

[jdc]

Ashley nice to hear you are dealing with your life head on

[away36]

Originally Posted by Lisa

Ashley, I'm posting rather late in the game, but I want you to know I completely understand what you're going through. I was caught up in the same issues when I was your age. I was about 20 pounds heavier during my college days than I am now (and I'm a shortie, so 20 pounds would be like 40 pounds on a tall gal!)

That's where I am right now Lisa.....about 20 lbs overweight and being 5 feet tall, it looks/feels like 40 lbs. Doesn't matter what I buy to wear...how pretty or how expensive the clothes are...when I put them on and look in the mirror I see only one thing.....'short, dumpy woman'. I've dealt with serious self-esteem issues my whole life and this extra 20 lbs that I've accumulated over the last 3 years has left me with more crying jags than I can count. I try to exercise every day. I walk as much as I can. I read labels, count calories, cut portions etc., and although there's been some weight loss, the going is slow and agonizing and my general daily perception of myself borders on self-loathing. With my odometer about to roll over to 62 years old next month, my metabolism doesn't seem as willing to work with me as it did when I was in my 30s.

[away36]

Originally Posted by Goodwatch

In 2002 I had a complete mental collapse, preventing me from carrying on with my work and even to be a normal father and husband. The early signs were there in 2000 but I ignored them. I was offered and accepted special council and that has saved me.

It was a long and very winding road and there were times I found myself sitting on a small stool under a hot shower, trying to calm down and stop my racing pulse and pounding heart. I sometimes thought I was going to die.

I'm so glad you got through this Frans. I dealt with the same thing many years ago. Unfortunately, I had no choice but to keep going to work because my ex-husband was an alcoholic and often being at work was actually better than being at home, even in those circumstances. I eventually had to seek professional help...a choice I will always be grateful for because it truly saved my life. The turning point came one day at work when I was walking from one room to another and had the odd but overwhelming feeling that little pieces of me were actually falling off and dropping on the floor beside me as I walked. Scary, scary feeling. It was tough making a call for help. I've also suffered from a pretty intense anxiety disorder and social phobia my whole life, which has meant that everything I've had to do involving others has been something I have had to push myself to do. The 'internal' damage is often almost debilitating. Reading your and Ashley's posts remind me that although we often feel we're alone in our battles, we're not. Thank you for having the courage to share.

[Jimbits76]

"Toto, I've a feeling we're not in Kansas anymore".

"Lions and Tigers and Bears! Oh My!"

J

[Jimbits76]

"Lions and Tigers and Bears! Oh My!"

Perhaps it should be:

"Kiwis and Rednecks and Dutch! Oh My!"

J

[diamondgirl]

Wow, really great post and responses from everyone. Ashley, you have another person right here struggling with the same issues on a daily basis. It has been a battle for me all my life and there isn't a day that goes by that I don't think about body/weight issues. A few years back I lost 80 lbs and got down to my goal weight. Was I happy? Heck no. There was always something more I was striving for and have gained and lost 20 lbs several times since reaching my goal. I still struggle with the balance of my weight as well as my minds perception of my weight (which is a completely different thing). You are a beautiful girl inside and out! But you know that it is how you feel about yourself that is the only thing that matters. Thank you SO much for sharing your thoughts.

[Lisa]

Originally Posted by away36

I'm so glad you got through this Frans. I dealt with the same thing many years ago. Unfortunately, I had no choice but to keep going to work because my ex-husband was an alcoholic and often being at work was actually better than being at home, even in those circumstances. I eventually had to seek professional help...a choice I will always be grateful for because it truly saved my life. The turning point came one day at work when I was walking from one room to another and had the odd but overwhelming feeling that little pieces of me were actually falling off and dropping on the floor beside me as I walked. Scary, scary feeling. It was tough making a call for help. I've also suffered from a pretty intense anxiety disorder and social phobia my whole life, which has meant that everything I've had to do involving others has been something I have had to push myself to do. The 'internal' damage is often almost debilitating. Reading your and Ashley's posts remind me that although we often feel we're alone in our battles, we're not. Thank you for having the courage to share.

Let's face it, Nancy. Normal people are boring.

But then again, there are no normal people. Just the people you don't know well enough to realize they're just as crazy as the rest of us!

[Goodwatch]

Originally Posted by away36

I'm so glad you got through this Frans. I dealt with the same thing many years ago. Unfortunately, I had no choice but to keep going to work because my ex-husband was an alcoholic and often being at work was actually better than being at home, even in those circumstances. I eventually had to seek professional help...a choice I will always be grateful for because it truly saved my life. The turning point came one day at work when I was walking from one room to another and had the odd but overwhelming feeling that little pieces of me were actually falling off and dropping on the floor beside me as I walked. Scary, scary feeling. It was tough making a call for help. I've also suffered from a pretty intense anxiety disorder and social phobia my whole life, which has meant that everything I've had to do involving others has been something I have had to push myself to do. The 'internal' damage is often almost debilitating. Reading your and Ashley's posts remind me that although we often feel we're alone in our battles, we're not. Thank you for having the courage to share.

With me it started one day I went into my office and had absolutely no clue whatsoever why I was there. I didn't know how to start and asked for a head to head talk with my boss. His jaw dropped to the floor and he quickly called in his boss (our Managing Director). He looked me in the eyes and send me home. All will be all right here, he said. It was about a year later I sat at my desk for the first time again.......

[Jimbits76]

All this losing weight talk is getting me down.

Cream scones anyone????????????

J

[jdc]

Originally Posted by Jimbits76

Perhaps it should be:

"Kiwis and Rednecks and Dutch! Oh My!"

J

Originally Posted by Jimbits76

All this losing weight talk is getting me down.

Cream scones anyone????????????

J

Boys & girls , pay no attention to the man behind the curtain

[Goodwatch]

Originally Posted by Jimbits76

Perhaps it should be:

"Kiwis and Rednecks and Dutch! Oh My!"

J

How did the Dutch got dragged into this thread?

[Goodwatch]

Originally Posted by Jimbits76

All this losing weight talk is getting me down.

Cream scones anyone????????????

J

I'll settle for a Singapore Sling

[Jimbits76]

Lets have a tea party. It's what us Brits do in the face of adversity.

Tally Ho, pip pip and pass the strawberries old love!

J