Getting Dad to love his Rolex again

[John Doyle]

Amazing thing you did for your father-in-law and I'm certain he was extremely happy with the thought! I guess when you live a full and content life, these material things matter much less than before and although we believe it's great to make memories with a watch, what ultimately matters is the now and present regardless of what you are wearing - clothes, accessories or whatever.
Plus it's very possible that he wants to pass it down at some point, and prefers to keep it in pristine condition as opposed to wearing it.

[EverCloserUnion]

Originally Posted by bobbyandy

Late Late update to 2020 post as I now have the rest of the story and a pic (if I can upload it). Sorry if I should have just started a new thread and attached a link to the original story.

Dennis was on the city SWAT team and bomb squad and he hand carried a number of unstable/volatile gas cylinders away from a densely populated urban area to a place where they could be safely detonated. The city was grateful and the local “Hundred Club” inducted him as a member. He also got a medal of valor from the city. As I understand, the first inductee from a group would get a Rolex and subsequent inductees from the same organization would get a Tag Heuer.

After he wore the watch for 20 years and then put it away when it no longer kept good time, he never wore it again even after I had it serviced. He was grateful but it never saw his wrist again until I snapped this pic a couple days ago.

He now has dementia and his memories of the watch and adventures with it have mostly faded away. I’m glad he shared the stories of the watch when he did so I can cherish them. Thanks for reading this long overdue update. I just wanted some closure with it.

Thanks for sharing these incredible stories - what an absolute giant of a fellow. Credit to you too.

[travisb]

Thank you for posting a great story and journey.
I missed this thread the first time around and enjoyed reading it.
All the best to your father-in-law and your family.

[codecow]

Great story and not even a clickbait title like, “I fixed my FIL’s Rolex and you’ll never guess what happened next!!!”

[jo76]

Thank you for sharing

[Boopie]

Thank you for sharing. Prayers also for strength on the journey ahead. Dementia is very, very tough.

[Robf52]

Great story and thanks for sharing. I also think you did the right thing; now he just needs to wear it to make new memories.

[Oxfordian]

Originally Posted by Boopie

Thank you for sharing. Prayers also for strength on the journey ahead. Dementia is very, very tough.

This is an huge understatement;

You watch someone you love disappear, day by day their memories get wiped, slowly but surely you get forgotten, you try to keep memories alive by having photo albums made up showing your loved one with you and other members of the family.

But, bit by bit, day by day, the knowledge of who these people are fades, their names forgotten, who they are is lost to your loved one.

Then it's you, your loved one asks who are you, I have no idea who this is they say, I'm not talking to them and they walk away from you.

I watched my mother disappear in this way, she went through all the stages I've described, I would turn up at the care home and in the end just be a friendly face to her, there was no point in saying who I was she had no idea that I even existed.

They say that someone with dementia can die many times as each part of their life fades away and sadly it is true. There is nothing that you can do, and to see your loved one leaving you in this way is heartbreaking.

OP I hope that your loved one retains their faculties as long as possible and you make the most of those moments, you and your partner will need each others support as you journey along this rocky road.

[alphadweller]

Such a good story, OP. Thank you. I really enjoyed it.

Your father-in-law might be overwhelmed with gratitude. Could he have decided to preserve the watch in top condition, wear it on special occasions only and pass it down one day? Whatever it is, I wouldn't inquire on his reasons for not wearing it. That would put pressure on him. Let him open up when he feels like it.

Looking forward to reading the stories of his accomplishments before being gifted his watches, if you feel like sharing them with us (say yes, please!).

[Steph-paul]

Great story, thank you for sharing.

[GONZO2LR]

Great Story!!!...dude....wear yours and when you see him....talk him into wearing his and take a picture of the both of you, wearing your Rolexes....do this everytime you see him....heck...my son-in-law do that all the time...you got someone to talk watches with.
Hopefully, he will get excited. It's sad that his friends didnt get it...heck...it's still that way now...i just ignore those morons, i sometimes ask a few about his love hobbies and interest...cars...nice truck, a guy traded in to but a new truck costing HIM, 60k...i said ohhh really...and laugh...
have fun talking Rolexes....and you did a great thing....

[OG1982]

Sounds like you're all good people. Thanks for sharing.

[Dirt]

Maybe he enjoys it on some other level if he says he gets it out to admire it on occassion, so that's something of note.
Everybody changes on some level and goes through phases of some kind. I do that with my possessions as i imagine we all do.
It's a bit like going through phases of wearing one watch or another in preference to others when we have a collection also in my case with listening to particular albums on the hifi more than others when in a reflective mood remembering where i bought it and the time of life when things were different.

What you did for him with regard to giving the watch the full spa treatment was really great
I'm confident that alone gives him an appreciation for it on a deeper level.
It sounds like he well and truly earnt it.
Back in the day a waterproof watch was and in some ways a watch like a Rolex still is a big deal and i'd wager making a point of dunking it in the ocean wherever he travelled to was an acknowledgement of the bond he has developed with the watch and with all due respect to the watch
With the dementia, people still retain emotional connections with things as well, so on some level he may occassionally reconnect with a time in his life especially if it's engraved on the back of his watch, so in some ways it may be a small blessing as the gift that keeps on giving.
Thanks for sharing

[topcat30093]

OP, thank you for telling your story.
And though not an American, I thank him for his service.
I recently retired after serving in all 3 of our emergency services.
My FiL also has Dementia and its a real piece of work - to put it politely!