Divorcing

[psif]

Originally Posted by Blansky

I think the problem often is, women go into a marriage thinking they're going to change him, and men go into it thinking the woman will never change.

And in the end they're both wrong.

This is spot on.

[Mendota]

Originally Posted by Al1969

Make that a X3.

I was originally thinking the same way but then I read the link from last year's post. Last year's post was about the process starting and a possible outcome was potentially needing to sell the watch. This new post stated that the process has indeed happened and the watch has already been sold.

My guess is last year's thread was a "oh sh#t, I think this is happening" type thing and this new one was a "oh sh#t, it's done" type thing. Just my pure speculation. I know a few people where the process was messy and dragged on for 12 to 18 months or longer.

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[kearez]

A lot of good advice. Divorce/long term breakups take months to a year to get over. Gym, socialise, new hobby will help out. Gym helps boost the confidence, which in turn will help socialising. Id also recommend some new clothes and go travel.

[Speedbird-1]

Originally Posted by TheVTCGuy

Being an expert on women, relationships, and marriage, I am now going to share everything I know about maintaining a successful union with a woman: Read? Here we go:

That was it, any questions?

What d'you know about "maintaining a successful union with a man"?

Well, you did ask for any questions!

[brandrea]

Originally Posted by Mendota

I was originally thinking the same way but then I read the link from last year's post. Last year's post was about the process starting and a possible outcome was potentially needing to sell the watch. This new post stated that the process has indeed happened and the watch has already been sold.

My guess is last year's thread was a "oh sh#t, I think this is happening" type thing and this new one was a "oh sh#t, it's done" type thing. Just my pure speculation. I know a few people where the process was messy and dragged on for 12 to 18 months or longer.

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Pretty much sums it up

[Speedbird-1]

Find yourself a new, good, Woman (there are, plenty out there ).
The research and coursework can be a lot of fun.
You might want to get yourself 'match fit'.

Look, 'up', not 'back'....tomorrow's a sunny day!

Good luck for the future.

[swils8610]

My mother left my dad after being married 20 years with 5 kids. The oldest being 18 and youngest was 2. He was working to build a family business which was a huge success. He sold it in 1998 and retired at age 58. He’s 82 now. It was the best thing that ever happened to him. He’s been married to my step mother for 43 years now. She is his soul mate and they have made each very happy for 43 years. They are still madly in love and are inseparable.


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[Toony]

I’ve never been divorced but my brother has been twice and a few close friends have been. What I’ve noticed is after a few months how much happier they all were afterwards. Talking to others can be cathartic. Take sometime for yourself and do something you always wanted to do.

[donas]

Originally Posted by Mendota

I was originally thinking the same way but then I read the link from last year's post. Last year's post was about the process starting and a possible outcome was potentially needing to sell the watch. This new post stated that the process has indeed happened and the watch has already been sold.

My guess is last year's thread was a "oh sh#t, I think this is happening" type thing and this new one was a "oh sh#t, it's done" type thing. Just my pure speculation. I know a few people where the process was messy and dragged on for 12 to 18 months or longer.

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The X3 was a response to some of us being confused about someone chastising me and being offended about me talking about my own ex-wife and telling what I thought was a funny story, not the original post. If you scroll back it starts with my post #32 and the follow up post #48. The first was #54.

[Mendota]

Originally Posted by donas

The X3 was a response to some of us being confused about someone chastising me and being offended about me talking about my own ex-wife and telling what I thought was a funny story, not the original post. If you scroll back it starts with my post #32 and the follow up post #48. The first was #54.

Oh, I see. I must have misread. I'm with you. There's nothing wrong with sharing your own tale of woe. People need to lighten up. That's the whole point of forum threads. They have a life of their own and they branch out like trees with lots of thoughts and views.

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[Urosfan]

Sorry to hear it best wishes going foward


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[rajurama]

Originally Posted by swils8610

My mother left my dad after being married 20 years with 5 kids. The oldest being 18 and youngest was 2. He was working to build a family business which was a huge success. He sold it in 1998 and retired at age 58. He’s 82 now. It was the best thing that ever happened to him. He’s been married to my step mother for 43 years now. She is his soul mate and they have made each very happy for 43 years. They are still madly in love and are inseparable.


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Just curious to know how are you all siblings doing as of now? Must have been devastating specially the younger ones. Were all of you separated or younger lot moved out with mother or father? Just trying to understand the kids side of the coping mechanism.

[Stevec14]

To all on this thread going through this, keep positive. My twin bro, and one of my best mates have been through it and while not great they’ve come out the other side and the happier for it.

It can happen. Be positive and believe it. Wishing you all the best.

[Aldwyn]

I pretty much gave everything to my ex wife when I left her to get her off my back, and had to start over again with almost nothing to my name.

I am SOO much better off now. And a few years after I left her, I married one of her friends (still married to her, 21 years later!) and couldnt be happier!

Now go do all the things your wife didnt want to do. Try all the things your wife didnt want to try. Go to all the places she didnt want to go. Eat the foods she never wanted to eat. You are free now, and can make decisions for your life without having to consult anyone else!

[TheVTCGuy]

Originally Posted by Speedbird-1

What d'you know about "maintaining a successful union with a man"?

Well, you did ask for any questions!

I don’t have any clue Steve, never had a relationship with a man, but considering my luck with women, some day that my be my only choice.

[psif]

Originally Posted by Aldwyn

I pretty much gave everything to my ex wife when I left her to get her off my back, and had to start over again with almost nothing to my name.

I am SOO much better off now. And a few years after I left her, I married one of her friends (still married to her, 21 years later!) and couldnt be happier!

Now go do all the things your wife didnt want to do. Try all the things your wife didnt want to try. Go to all the places she didnt want to go. Eat the foods she never wanted to eat. You are free now, and can make decisions for your life without having to consult anyone else!

This is lovely know and very inspiring.

[Spectre38]

Wife number one was seeing someone while I was on the road as a Field Service Engineer. We divorced after 6 years of marriage.

Wife number two was seeing someone she met on Facebook while I was at work.
We divorced after 15 years of marriage.

I decided I wasn't doing something right and quit trying to find someone and did the bachelor thing for several years. I have been dating the same woman for 9+ years now and we couldn't be happier. She has her place, I have mine... she has her money, I have mine. We have talked about marriage but both of us are completely happy with how things are... so why change it?

OP... best of luck. Yes, things may suck now, but they will get better. Hang in there, don't worry about the watch... there are more out there to be had.

[Speedbird-1]

Originally Posted by TheVTCGuy

I don’t have any clue Steve, never had a relationship with a man, but considering my luck with women, some day that my be my only choice.

[amg55]

Originally Posted by Blansky

I think the problem often is, women go into a marriage thinking they're going to change him, and men go into it thinking the woman will never change.

And in the end they're both wrong.

Oscar Wilde wisdom ;)

[fania123]

Like the Tao says, you gotta shut one door before another one can open.

[Dr. Robert]

You know why divorces are so expensive? Because they are worth it!

[enjoythemusic]

Am grateful for this thread. Truly am. It reminds me of when i (over) stayed with....

Much better now, plus i met my Muse. Soooo much better.

So there's hope you guys :)

[TswaneNguni]

Originally Posted by Spectre38

I have been dating the same woman for 9+ years now and we couldn't be happier. She has her place, I have mine... she has her money, I have mine. We have talked about marriage but both of us are completely happy with how things are... so why change it?

[Boopie]

Echo what everyone else has said. Stay strong, and stay rational and sane.

Take care of yourself and keep your friendships and family relationships healthy.

[aczaja10]

Originally Posted by colpol

Not a divorce but a few breakups

I got over my first breakup by swimming / cycling. Rather than come home from work & think about things. I’d pack my trunks & head to the local swimming pool or get the bike out for a 2 hour cycle. The key is something to immerse yourself in & take your mind off it. Sometimes not too healthy to think too much for too long.

Good luck & all the best. Hope you start a new watch fund soon

This is incredibly wise advice.

[Atone]

Going through it right now myself. Not an easy thing at 9 years so I can’t imagine 40. I hope it’s amicable as that is the most important thing. Even if one party is being difficult, it doesn’t need to be reciprocated as this just delays the healing. Wishing you all the comfort and peace in the transition. It ain’t fun but if it’s the right thing, it’s the right thing. I’ll take courage over comfort any day of the week.

[kieselguhr]

Been through a divorce. We were high school sweethearts and got married too young to know anything (both just turned 20). We both recognized where it was going after a couple years. We did not want to end up hating each other so the split was amicable. Made it easy. Can’t imagine how difficult it must be 40 years in. Wish you the best.

[THC]

Not really a fan of a post, then subsequent disappearance..

Rolio, where for art thou?

[Atone]

Originally Posted by THC

Not really a fan of a post, then subsequent disappearance..

Rolio, where for art thou?

I would hope that his lowest priority right now would be appeasing TRF members.