Why are all the TRF ladies keeping such a LOW profile?

[Taffi Abernathy]

Originally Posted by GinGinD

I've heard from a couple of the ladies privately. I don't expect them to return.

Jeannie

I like those women and will miss them on this site. My thinking is never say never, since people can have a change of heart. Even if some of our women members felt it was right for them to move on, their decision isn't unilateral and applicable to all female members. Hopefully, we all make decisions that seem right for us as individuals, and unless someone does something egregious, people can return. The door swings both ways.

[Lisa]

The tone and personality of a forum is dictated by the forum leadership -- ultimately by the person in charge. I've had issues in the past with speaking up about matters that bothered me - and I was given infraction points for "unfriendly behavior" and told it was not my place to force my values on others.

After that, I promised myself that if I continued to feel uncomfortable with speaking my mind then this was not the place for me.

Never say never? This is one time when I will.

[mcjp6]

Originally Posted by Lisa

The tone and personality of a forum is dictated by the forum leadership -- ultimately by the person in charge. I've had issues in the past with speaking up about matters that bothered me - and I was given infraction points for "unfriendly behavior" and told it was not my place to force my values on others.

After that, I promised myself that if I continued to feel uncomfortable with speaking my mind then this was not the place for me.

Never say never? This is one time when I will.

It really is a shame to read that, Lisa, and IMO a shame that the tone of some threads/post have been such that other ladies have also chosen to leave. I don't often post in this part of the forum but frequently do read here. I will miss yours and the others posting and the humour that they bring.

It would be good to see a resolution to this situation.

[rsg]

By reading this very thread I can see how most women would be made to feel uncomfortable. Humor has it's place, but obviously there are some members who aren't comfortable with the discussion of circle jerks, male unit size, etc.
Why should these members be made any more uncomfortable than folks who don't want to talk about guns?

[diablojota]

Originally Posted by Prince

To be frank (and I'm not! ), some of the threads that get hijacked NEED to be hijacked. I've seen many of them that if they hadn't been hijacked, there wouldn't be anything of any interest in them at all. It also assists in diverting attention away from a potential problem or blowup by interjecting some humour into an otherwise volatile situation. It's also a lot of fun.

Nope. You're not frank, but I am.

[Taffi Abernathy]

Originally Posted by diablojota

Nope. You're not frank, but I am.

Not funny. Obviously, people are deeply stressed and although with some unpleasant situations, it is smart to highjack the thread, putting a bandaid won't work this time. It just doesn't feel right.

[Lol-x]

Originally Posted by Boopie

I guess I haven't been on that much, as I haven't noticed any sexist posts...

Summer vacation is winding down, and probably other moms like me are gearing up for back-to-school preparations. I just bought my kids some new sneakers tonight.

I'd like to see the offensive posts too. You know 2000 posts a day, its pretty hard to keep track of them all unless a post is reported.

Originally Posted by Lisa

The tone and personality of a forum is dictated by the forum leadership -- ultimately by the person in charge. I've had issues in the past with speaking up about matters that bothered me - and I was given infraction points for "unfriendly behavior" and told it was not my place to force my values on others.

After that, I promised myself that if I continued to feel uncomfortable with speaking my mind then this was not the place for me.

Never say never? This is one time when I will.

Well as I recall the infraction related to being unfriendly towards another female member, and as I recall she got an infraction too. And as a result of this unfriendly incident with you Lisa, the other female member decided in good grace to not post further on the forum to avoid any any further altercations. This was how long ago, maybe 6 months or more. I had like forgiven and forgotten all about it, I try to focus on positive things. Anyway you're free to speak your mind.

I can make most people happy most of the time, but making everyone happy all of the time....well sure I'm a soft target.

So here I am fire away (sorry no pun intended).

[jdc]

Originally Posted by Lisa

The tone and personality of a forum is dictated by the forum leadership -- ultimately by the person in charge. I've had issues in the past with speaking up about matters that bothered me - and I was given infraction points for "unfriendly behavior" and told it was not my place to force my values on others.

After that, I promised myself that if I continued to feel uncomfortable with speaking my mind then this was not the place for me.

Never say never? This is one time when I will.

well in a totally non sexist way I love you Lisa
I would like to emphasis that this is not a sexual advance, maybe just a little................................ Lisa will you marry me if I can get a divorce from furrybits'76?

[jdc]

Originally Posted by rsg

By reading this very thread I can see how most women would be made to feel uncomfortable. Humor has it's place, but obviously there are some members who aren't comfortable with the discussion of circle jerks, male unit size, etc.
Why should these members be made any more uncomfortable than folks who don't want to talk about guns?

I too am outraged by the comments of hangloose'57 and furrybits'76 my sense of decorum has been upset by their many hijacks, I am starting a petition.
Please sign up at [email protected] You can also add that Dutch git and that other Mod Allan the Prince of hijacks LOL

[JJ Irani]

Heavens to betsy......what the hell did I start up this time?

Hey everybody,

Let's all forget the past, just concentrate on the present, let's all get nice and friendly and make this the greatest forum on planet earth!!!

We can talk about our homes, our gardens, our cars, our pets, hell even talk about RADO watches .......but let's just get along.......maintain the same harmony that always existed here.

As one of the oldest members of TRF, this comes as a very sincere request from ME........ME, i.e. JJ!!! Surely my plea cannot fall on deaf ears?

I love you ALL and would not like to see any of you wonderful folk leave this place. Just go with the flow and things should eventually even out into a nice smooth run.

Best to all - JJ

[Jimbits76]

Originally Posted by Lisa

The tone and personality of a forum is dictated by the forum leadership -- ultimately by the person in charge. I've had issues in the past with speaking up about matters that bothered me - and I was given infraction points for "unfriendly behavior" and told it was not my place to force my values on others.

After that, I promised myself that if I continued to feel uncomfortable with speaking my mind then this was not the place for me.

Never say never? This is one time when I will.

Hey Lisa, sorry to see that.

You know I think you're the cat's meow



J

[Jimbits76]

Originally Posted by rsg

By reading this very thread I can see how most women would be made to feel uncomfortable. Humor has it's place, but obviously there are some members who aren't comfortable with the discussion of circle jerks, male unit size, etc.
Why should these members be made any more uncomfortable than folks who don't want to talk about guns?

Implied innuendo is different from sexism and alledged sexual harrassment via pm.

Although sexual in nature, they are usually just seen as good humour. Remember, as a forum we often make cracks about JJ and his sheep. Are we saying we support beastiality? No, it's having a laugh.

I admit that when the laughs do dry up people get hurt but in this instance I would have to agree with the mods on this and with Joe's stance, a stance he has often put in writing on the public forum....

If you see something that offends you or annoys you, send a polite pm. If it continues contact a mod.

Thats what they are here for...well apart from hijacking!!!!

Jim

[Jimbits76]

Originally Posted by jdc

I too am outraged by the comments of hangloose'57 and furrybits'76 my sense of decorum has been upset by their many hijacks, I am starting a petition.
Please sign up at [email protected] You can also add that Dutch git and that other Mod Allan the Prince of hijacks LOL

Bah you should be banned for harrassing me you dirty old git!

J

[JJ Irani]

Originally Posted by Jimbits76

Implied innuendo is different from sexism and alledged sexual harrassment via pm.

Although sexual in nature, they are usually just seen as good humour. Remember, as a forum we often make cracks about JJ and his sheep. Are we saying we support beastiality? No, it's having a laugh.

I admit that when the laughs do dry up people get hurt but in this instance I would have to agree with the mods on this and with Joe's stance, a stance he has often put in writing on the public forum....

If you see something that offends you or annoys you, send a polite pm. If it continues contact a mod.

Thats what they are here for...well apart from hijacking!!!!

Jim

Ya bastid, if I had to send a PM for every time one of you tossers took a crack at me and my sheep, your PM boxes would be chocker full!!!

[Gedanken]

Originally Posted by Lol-x

the other female member decided in good grace to not post further on the forum to avoid any any further altercations.

I'm hard-pressed to describe someone who wrote the following to be particularly capable of good grace:

I don't appreciate Lisa being a big b**** to me on my thread, now it
s closed by Lol-x/Steve :(
I started the thread for the sole purpose of the beautiful and sexy Rolex - a daydate president!! It doesn't mean I'm stupid just because I'm hot, I'm 22 and getting my MBA and then going to law school and I have a lot going for me besides looks. But since I was born with good looks I don't feel the need to cover up my boobs and hide under a potato sack!
This is so retarded! why can't I just talk about what I love on here without jealous b**ches getting in my way!! GRRR!!

There's no denying that there was was an incident between two members, but let's not eulogise people when their actions demand the opposite.

[Art161]

The panda became inactive on TRF some time back. It was great fun, but was taking too much of the panda's time. The panda had become addicted to the forum.

The panda just happened by this morning and was not all that surprised about the contents of this thread. As some of you may recall, the panda suggested that a Guys' Garage be made a sticky. That was shot down by those in charge of TRF because they said that the entire forum was a Guys' Garage. And look where you are today. Oh, the shock!

One of the reasons the panda suggested the sticky was so that the guys would have a place to go where they could post things that the gals might not particularly like. The gals would be welcome, but they would have an idea as to what to expect if they entered.

Guys will be guys and if they don't have a particular place to congregate, their stuff permeates the entire forum.

With that, the panda eats, shoots and leaves. Thanks again, Joe.

73

[Gedanken]

Originally Posted by JJ Irani

Heavens to betsy......what the hell did I start up this time?

Law of unintended consequences, JJ. It'll bite you in the butt every time.

[Gedanken]

Originally Posted by Art161

One of the reasons the panda suggested the sticky was so that the guys would have a place to go where they could post things that the gals might not particularly like. The gals would be welcome, but they would have an idea as to what to expect if they entered.

Guys will be guys and if they don't have a particular place to congregate, their stuff permeates the entire forum.

Now where have I heard that argument before? Oh yes, that's right - it was the debate about setting up safe heroin injection rooms.

[Jimbits76]

Originally Posted by Art161

The panda became inactive on TRF some time back. It was great fun, but was taking too much of the panda's time. The panda had become addicted to the forum.

The panda just happened by this morning and was not all that surprised about the contents of this thread. As some of you may recall, the panda suggested that a Guys' Garage be made a sticky. That was shot down by those in charge of TRF because they said that the entire forum was a Guys' Garage. And look where you are today. Oh, the shock!

One of the reasons the panda suggested the sticky was so that the guys would have a place to go where they could post things that the gals might not particularly like. The gals would be welcome, but they would have an idea as to what to expect if they entered.

Guys will be guys and if they don't have a particular place to congregate, their stuff permeates the entire forum.

With that, the panda eats, shoots and leaves. Thanks again, Joe.

73

I can't agree sorry Art. The majority of the membership is male so I think the mods were right.

Even having a place for the men to grunt, spit, scratch and look at nudey pics wouldn't stop the minority of morons who set out to offend or send "freakaloo" pms to Jen and the others.

I think as a whole, the male membership is pretty sensitive and respect the ladies who post here.

Wherever you go, you will always get folk wanting to upset the apple cart and clashes of personality.

Thats why we have rules!

J

[jdc]

Originally Posted by Jimbits76

I think as a whole, the male membership is pretty sensitive and respect the ladies who post here.

J

another pathetic cry for attention dame bitsy

[Lol-x]

I don't appreciate Lisa being a big b**** to me on my thread, now it
s closed by Lol-x/Steve :(
I started the thread for the sole purpose of the beautiful and sexy Rolex - a daydate president!! It doesn't mean I'm stupid just because I'm hot, I'm 22 and getting my MBA and then going to law school and I have a lot going for me besides looks. But since I was born with good looks I don't feel the need to cover up my boobs and hide under a potato sack!
This is so retarded! why can't I just talk about what I love on here without jealous b**ches getting in my way!! GRRR!!

Shortly after this incident occurred the female member in issue (for her own reasons and which she expressed to me) hasn't posted since November 2008, and we are bringing this up now.

And lets not misconstrue my position, I don't condone that kind of behaviour and the member received an infraction for that post. As I said that member got an infraction (the *** were I believe as per the original post i.e. not moderated). The member who made that post (a female member) did so in the heat of the moment and afterwards regretted making it. It was a post that was made in response to a personally critical post made towards her.

I tried to broker a reconciliation but that didn't happen, because someone was not prepared to forgive and forget.

All I asked was an agreement to be friendly, but that was not returned with a favorable reply.

The other member hasn't been banned, she told me she would no longer be active on the forum, she hasn't posted but I suspect she can still be contacted to give her version of events.

I did not take any sides, but tried to procure a reconciliation. I'm sorry that didn't happen. That was November 2008. This ain't never going to be healed, sorry I tried but failed. It seems like the only satisfactory result according to one or some members is for me I bow to the request of one member to ban another member, and because I didn't or don't agree to that course I have failed to address the 'needs' of one, or some or all female members for which it seems I will forever more be made to pay.

Oh yeah FWIW since this unfortunate issue occurred there has only been something like about 400,000 post made on the forum.

[C. Davidson]

For what its worth, I love TRF.

[swatty]

Originally Posted by C. Davidson

For what its worth, I love TRF.

Got to agree Chris

[Prince]

Originally Posted by Mike B

X2
Hows the weather in FL Allan ?? lol

I don't know much about spaceflight Mike, but that milkshake I had yesterday was full of some kind of homogenized stuff!

[Prince]

Originally Posted by Taffi Abernathy

I agree with this since in the process of discussing an issue, someone may lend a new perspective or present something of interest which motivates others to take a new direction. Also, the disallowing of hijacking (and the opportunity for diversity) leads to predictability and boredom. What fun would it be to open a thread and not be able to deviate even a modicum from the initial topic?

Secondly, when things get heated, hijacking often provides an effective escape valve, giving posters a chance to de-escalate and even share a laugh. As we all know, this can sometimes do wonders in reversing an unpleasant situation.

[Prince]

Originally Posted by diablojota

Nope. You're not frank, but I am.

LOL

[Lol-x]

Originally Posted by Art161

One of the reasons the panda suggested the sticky was so that the guys would have a place to go where they could post things that the gals might not particularly like. The gals would be welcome, but they would have an idea as to what to expect if they entered.

So if it is a thread where the ' guys could post things that the gals might not particularly like' I take that to mean it was to be a thread that was offensive towards women. If that means sexist, or abusive behaviour towards women, just putting it in a thread with that label or warning doesn't make it any more right. The fact that such material being publicly displayed on the forum at all would be an affront to women. Even if it were intended to be purely crude behaviour, that would still be unacceptable.

It also lowers the standards across the board, increases tensions, creates hostilities, unfriendliness and results in major issues for moderators to almost impossibly resolve and brings the public image of the forum into disrepute.

Sorry but the decision made, especially on the basis of what you contemplate was IMHO properly made correctly after due consideration of the relevant circumstances.

Again I can't please everyone, but it is a fact that people who don't get their own way are going to be angry so its what it is.

[Gedanken]

Originally Posted by Lol-x

Shortly after this incident occurred the female member in issue (for her own reasons and which she expressed to me) hasn't posted since November 2008, and we are bringing this up now.

And lets not misconstrue my position, I don't condone that kind of behaviour and the member received an infraction for that post. As I said that member got an infraction (the *** were I believe as per the original post i.e. not moderated). The member who made that post (a female member) did so in the heat of the moment and afterwards regretted making it. It was a post that was made in response to a personally critical post made towards her.

I tried to broker a reconciliation but that didn't happen, because someone was not prepared to forgive and forget.

All I asked was an agreement to be friendly, but that was not returned with a favorable reply.

The other member hasn't been banned, she told me she would no longer be active on the forum, she hasn't posted but I suspect she can still be contacted to give her version of events.

I did not take any sides, but tried to procure a reconciliation. I'm sorry that didn't happen. That was November 2008. This ain't never going to be healed, sorry I tried but failed. It seems like the only satisfactory result according to one or some members is for me I bow to the request of one member to ban another member, and because I didn't or don't agree to that course I have failed to address the 'needs' of one, or some or all female members for which it seems I will forever more be made to pay.

Oh yeah FWIW since this unfortunate issue occurred there has only been something like about 400,000 post made on the forum.

I certainly did not see any evidence of that member regretting her actions. If anything, she attempted to justify her use of her language to me. Her version of events holds no weight considering how her story changes according to who she's talking to.

Also, if I recall correctly, she wasn't the one under threat of being banned.

Given the meat of the conversation, the incident is relevant regardless of when it happened.

[Lol-x]

Originally Posted by Gedanken

Also, if I recall correctly, she wasn't the one under threat of being banned.

Well she expressed it to me in PM's and she hasn't posted since November 2008.

Who are you saying the threat of being banned was made by and who was it made to? Be very specific here please and moreover what was the basis of the threat i.e. what was it stated as being supposedly it was 'if you do ??? you will be banned.'

If it is as significant an event as some seem to feel, it's interesting how it has come up at this juncture don't you think?

[2careless]

Hmm, please don't argue over a 22 yo tax intern ...