Learn Chinese in 5 minutes! Guaranteed!!

[roadcarver]

Learn Chinese in 5 minutes...(You MUST read them out loud)

1) That's not right...............................Sum Ting Wong
2) Are you harbouring a fugitive?..........Hu Yu Hai Ding
3) See me ASAP.................................Kum Hia Nao
4) Stupid Man.....................................Dum Fuk
5) Small Horse....................................Tai Ni Po Ni
6) Did you go to the Beach? .................Wai Yu So Tan
7) I bumped into a coffee table.............Ai Bang Mai Fa Kin Ni
8) I think you need a face lift................Chin Tu Fat
9) It's very dark in here........................Wao So Dim
10) I thought you were on a? diet..........Wai Yu Mun Ching
11) This is a tow away zone..................No Pah King
12) Our meeting is next week...............Wai Yu Kum Nao
13) Staying out of sight........................Lei Ying Lo
14) He's cleaning his automobile...........Wa Shing Ka
15) Your body odour is offensive...........Yu Stin Ki Pu
16) Great............................................F a Kin Su Pah

[Prince]

Thanks, Vernon. Now I can go to Beijing and speak like a native!!!

Originally Posted by Prince

Thanks, Vernon. Now I can go to Beijing and speak like a native!!!

Why go to China when you can go to Unionville, Ontario? ROTFLMAO!

[Prince]

Originally Posted by Atomic

Why go to China when you can go to Unionville, Ontario? ROTFLMAO!

Is that like the "Chinatown" of Ontario, John?

Which reminds me - I haven't posted excerpts from the "How to Speak Southern" dictionary. Before heading south for a vacation, it may be a good idea to learn the language of your southern brothers and sisters. And here are a few examples:

BARD - verb. Past tense of the infinitive "to borrow."
Usage: "My brother bard my pickup truck."

JAWJUH - noun. A highly flammable state just north of Florida.
Usage: "My brother from Jawjah bard my pickup truck."

MUNTS - noun. A calendar division.
Usage: "My brother from Jawjuh bard my pickup truck, and I taint herd from him in munts."

ALL - noun. A petroleum-based lubricant.
Usage: "I sure hope my brother from Jawjuh puts all in my pickup truck."

FAR - noun. A conflagration.
Usage: "If my brother from Jawjuh doesn't change the all in my pickup truck, that things gonna catch far."

BAHS - noun. A supervisor.
Usage: "If you don't stop reading these Southern words and git back to work, your bahs is gonna far you!"

TAR - noun. A rubber wheel.
Usage: "Gee, I hope that brother of mine from Jawjuh doesn't git a flat tar in my pickup truck."

TIRE - noun. A tall monument.
Usage: "Lord willing and the creeks don't rise, I sure do hope to see that Eiffel Tire in Paris sometime."

RETARD - verb. To stop working.
Usage: "My granpaw retard at age 65."

RATS - noun. Entitled power or privilege.
Usage: "We Southerners are willing to fight for out rats."

FARN - adjective. Not local.
Usage: "I cudnt unnerstand a wurd he sed ... must be from some farn country."

JU-HERE - question.
Usage: "Juhere that former Dallas Cowboys' coach Jimmy Johnson recently toured the University of Alabama?"

HAZE - contraction.
Usage: "Is Bubba smart?" "Nah ... haze ignert."

VIEW - contraction: verb and pronoun.
Usage: "I ain't never seed New York City ... view?"

GUMMIT - noun. An often-closed bureaucratic institution.
Usage: "Great ... ANOTHER gummit shutdown!"

[padi56]

to both.

[roadcarver]

Unionville is not enough... you'll have to go to Pacific Mall! You'll hit the motherload there.

Originally Posted by Atomic

Why go to China when you can go to Unionville, Ontario? ROTFLMAO!

Originally Posted by roadcarver

Unionville is not enough... you'll have to go to Pacific Mall! You'll hit the motherload there.

The Pacific Mall is technically in Unionville... but you're right. Every time I go there I get odd looks, like they're thinking 'what is this gwylo (sp?) doing in our mall?' LOLOLOL And at my height, I stand out there like a sore thumb!

BTW Allen, in Unionville, the Chinese make up 51% of the population. Combined with other asian folks in Unionville, the percentage goes up to about 60%.

[Prince]

Originally Posted by Atomic

...BTW Allen, in Unionville, the Chinese make up 51% of the population. Combined with other asian folks in Unionville, the percentage goes up to about 60%.

Thanks for the info, John. I am familiar with Toronto, but not Ontario. Actually, I'm half Canadian myself, I guess. My mother was born in Winnipeg!!

[JJ Irani]

Another crazy thread!!

[mailman]

Originally Posted by Prince

Is that like the "Chinatown" of Ontario, John?

Which reminds me - I haven't posted excerpts from the "How to Speak Southern" dictionary. Before heading south for a vacation, it may be a good idea to learn the language of your southern brothers and sisters. And here are a few examples:

BARD - verb. Past tense of the infinitive "to borrow."
Usage: "My brother bard my pickup truck."

JAWJUH - noun. A highly flammable state just north of Florida.
Usage: "My brother from Jawjah bard my pickup truck."

MUNTS - noun. A calendar division.
Usage: "My brother from Jawjuh bard my pickup truck, and I taint herd from him in munts."

ALL - noun. A petroleum-based lubricant.
Usage: "I sure hope my brother from Jawjuh puts all in my pickup truck."

FAR - noun. A conflagration.
Usage: "If my brother from Jawjuh doesn't change the all in my pickup truck, that things gonna catch far."

BAHS - noun. A supervisor.
Usage: "If you don't stop reading these Southern words and git back to work, your bahs is gonna far you!"

TAR - noun. A rubber wheel.
Usage: "Gee, I hope that brother of mine from Jawjuh doesn't git a flat tar in my pickup truck."

TIRE - noun. A tall monument.
Usage: "Lord willing and the creeks don't rise, I sure do hope to see that Eiffel Tire in Paris sometime."

RETARD - verb. To stop working.
Usage: "My granpaw retard at age 65."

RATS - noun. Entitled power or privilege.
Usage: "We Southerners are willing to fight for out rats."

FARN - adjective. Not local.
Usage: "I cudnt unnerstand a wurd he sed ... must be from some farn country."

JU-HERE - question.
Usage: "Juhere that former Dallas Cowboys' coach Jimmy Johnson recently toured the University of Alabama?"

HAZE - contraction.
Usage: "Is Bubba smart?" "Nah ... haze ignert."

VIEW - contraction: verb and pronoun.
Usage: "I ain't never seed New York City ... view?"

GUMMIT - noun. An often-closed bureaucratic institution.
Usage: "Great ... ANOTHER gummit shutdown!"

Whenever I go to the Carolinas for work I have to train my ear properly to understand what they are really trying to tell me. Thanks for the tips!

I recall meeting a Southern girl for the first time when we were travelling for tournaments a few years back. She used "y'all" more than anyone I've ever heard. Her best phrase was:

"All y'all's different when all y'all's around y'all."

I had to stop and think that sentence out carefully for a few minutes before I knew what the heck she was trying to say!

[Prince]

Originally Posted by Avalon

...Her best phrase was:
"All y'all's different when all y'all's around y'all."

LOL - I understood right away, Al. "Everyone is different when everybody is around you". Is that about right?

You might want to hire an interpreter when you visit her the next time!

[Flyjet601]

Originally Posted by roadcarver

Learn Chinese in 5 minutes...(You MUST read them out loud)

1) That's not right...............................Sum Ting Wong
2) Are you harbouring a fugitive?..........Hu Yu Hai Ding
3) See me ASAP.................................Kum Hia Nao
4) Stupid Man.....................................Dum Fuk
5) Small Horse....................................Tai Ni Po Ni
6) Did you go to the Beach? .................Wai Yu So Tan
7) I bumped into a coffee table.............Ai Bang Mai Fa Kin Ni
8) I think you need a face lift................Chin Tu Fat
9) It's very dark in here........................Wao So Dim
10) I thought you were on a? diet..........Wai Yu Mun Ching
11) This is a tow away zone..................No Pah King
12) Our meeting is next week...............Wai Yu Kum Nao
13) Staying out of sight........................Lei Ying Lo
14) He's cleaning his automobile...........Wa Shing Ka
15) Your body odour is offensive...........Yu Stin Ki Pu
16) Great............................................F a Kin Su Pah

.......this has been a valuable lesson. Is this Manderine or Cantonese

I cant wait to use it here

[Prince]

Originally Posted by Flyjet601

.......this has been a valuable lesson. Is this Manderine or Cantonese
I cant wait to use it here

Yeah, a chance for you to turn the tables on them. You be "inscrutable" for a change!!!

[JJ Irani]

Originally Posted by Flyjet601

.......this has been a valuable lesson. Is this Manderine or Cantonese

I cant wait to use it here

That was funny, Larry....but who gives a rat's ass? Just try it on some of your Chinese friends....and watch how they react!!