The Rolex Forums   The Rolex Watch

ROLEXROLEXROLEXROLEXROLEXROLEXROLEXROLEXROLEXROLEXROLEXROLEX


Go Back   Rolex Forums - Rolex Forum > General Topics > Jokes & Cartoons

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 31 January 2010, 11:27 AM   #1
Bisquitlips
2024 Pledge Member
 
Bisquitlips's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2008
Real Name: Richard
Location: USA
Watch: YM Deep Space
Posts: 12,521
Do you ever think about things like this...?

1. Ever wonder about those people who spend $2.00 a piece on those little bottles of Evian water?
Try spelling Evian backwards :NAIVE
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
2. Isn't making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a peeing section in a swimming pool?
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
3. OK ..... so if the Jacksonville Jaguars are known as the 'Jags' and the Tampa Bay Buccaneers are known as the 'Bucs,' what does that make the Tennessee Titans?
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
4. If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea does that mean that 1 enjoys it?
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
5. There are three religious truths:
a. Jews do not recognize Jesus as the Messiah.
b. Protestants do not recognize the Pope as the leader of the Christian faith.
c. Baptists do not recognize each other in the liquor store or Hooters.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
6. If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes?
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
7. If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ *~*~*~*
8. Why do croutons come in airtight packages? Aren't they just stale bread to begin with?
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
9 Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist but a person who drives a race car is not called a racist?
* ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
10. Why isn't the number 11 pronounced onety one?
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
11. If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners depressed?
*~*~*~*~*~*! ~*~*~*~*
12. If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it Fed UP?
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
13. Do Lipton Tea employees take coffee breaks?
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
14. What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses of bald men?
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
15. I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older; then it dawned on me ..... they're cramming for their final exam.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
16. I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks, so I wondered what do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks?
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
17. Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do, write to them?
Why don't they just put their pictures on the postage stamps so the mailmen can look for them while they deliver the mail?
*~*~*~*~! *~*~*~*~ *~*
18. If it's true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the others here for?
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
19.. You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
21. Ever wonder what the speed of lightning would be if it didn't zigzag?
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
22. If a cow laughed, would she spew milk out of her nose?
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
23. Whatever happened to Preparations A through G?
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
24. At income tax time, did you ever notice: When you put the two words 'The' and 'IRS' together it spells ... 'THEIRS'?
__________________
Rolex Yacht-Master 40mm (SS-YG / Deep Space MOP) 16623
Breitling Aerospace Titanium / 18K with UTC.
Omega Speedmaster 3510.50
Oris TT1 Pro Diver Regulator 43MM
Bisquitlips is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 31 January 2010, 11:37 AM   #2
Andad
2024 SubLV41 Pledge Member
 
Andad's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2006
Real Name: Eddie
Location: Australia
Watch: A few.
Posts: 37,528
Good work Richard.
__________________
E

Andad is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 31 January 2010, 01:24 PM   #3
onkyo
Banned
 
Join Date: Apr 2008
Real Name: Pav
Location: Manhattan
Posts: 11,495
Excellent... esp 14.
onkyo is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 31 January 2010, 03:21 PM   #4
limbo
"TRF" Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Sydney
Posts: 4,624
Good ones.
limbo is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 31 January 2010, 03:43 PM   #5
pz93c
"TRF" Member
 
pz93c's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2008
Real Name: Brian
Location: Republic of Texas
Posts: 2,776
Nope. Never have.
pz93c is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 31 January 2010, 04:14 PM   #6
ParisDakarBmw
Banned
 
Join Date: Dec 2009
Real Name: Paul
Location: New Haven, CT
Watch: 116610 Sub-C
Posts: 6,552
ParisDakarBmw is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 31 January 2010, 04:39 PM   #7
idk01
"TRF" Member
 
idk01's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2009
Real Name: Dave
Location: Australia
Watch: DJ16233TT
Posts: 18,485
Love them all Richard!!!!!

__________________
Apprentice to Terry Newton; Superstar and Fake Sleuth

idk01 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 1 February 2010, 01:36 AM   #8
Lion
"TRF" Member
 
Lion's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2009
Real Name: Leo
Location: Midwest
Watch: GMT-II 16710 PEPSI
Posts: 21,461
Very good!!!
__________________

SS GMT-II 16710 PEPSI(Z-serial#)
THE ONLY DIFFERENCE BETWEEN MEN AND BOYS IS THE PRICE OF THE TOYS!!!
MontBlanc Meisterstuck Doue Silver Barley
MontBlanc Meisterstuck Solitaire Doue Signum
Proud Card Carrying Member of the Curmudgeons.....Yikes!!!
Lion is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 1 February 2010, 05:34 AM   #9
Latrodectus
2024 SubLV41 Pledge Member
 
Latrodectus's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2008
Real Name: Fred
Location: KY, USA
Watch: GMT-Master II
Posts: 10,043
Good
__________________

Member # 16057
4-Hands Club
Tosser Club Member
TRF Skypers Group
Latrodectus is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 1 February 2010, 06:08 AM   #10
Dr. Robert
2024 SubLV41 Pledge Member
 
Dr. Robert's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2009
Real Name: Bob
Location: U.S.A.
Watch: 1655
Posts: 64,273
excellent!
Dr. Robert is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply


Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump

My Watch LLC

WatchesOff5th

DavidSW Watches

Takuya Watches

OCWatches

Asset Appeal

Wrist Aficionado


*Banners Of The Month*
This space is provided to horological resources.





Copyright ©2004-2024, The Rolex Forums. All Rights Reserved.

ROLEXROLEXROLEXROLEXROLEXROLEXROLEXROLEXROLEXROLEXROLEXROLEX

Rolex is a registered trademark of ROLEX USA. The Rolex Forums is not affiliated with ROLEX USA in any way.