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padi56 · 26 June 2005, 06:21 PM

Some might have to think with this one, remember its all in the mind.

Two old friends were just about to tee off at the first hole of their local golf course when a chap carrying a golf bag called out to them, "Do you mind if join you? My partner didn't turn up."

"Sure," they said, "You're welcome."

So they started playing and enjoyed the game and the company of the newcomer. Part way around the course, one of the friends asked the newcomer, "What do you do for a living?"

"I'm a hit man," was the reply.

"You're joking!" was the response.

"No, I'm not," he said, reaching into his golf bag, and pulling out a beautiful Martini sniper's rifle with a large telescopic sight. "Here are my tools."

"That's a beautiful telescopic sight," said the other friend, "Can I take a look? I think I might be able to see my house from here."

So he picked up the rifle and looked through the sight in the direction of his house. "Yeah, I can see my house all right. This sight is fantastic. I can see right in the window. Wow, I can see my wife in the bedroom. Ha Ha, I can see she's naked! What's that?... Wait a minute, that's my neighbour in there with her. He's naked as well! ...That bitch!"

He turned to the hit man, "How much do you charge for a hit?"

"I do a flat rate, for you, one thousand dollars every time I pull the trigger."

"Can you do two for me now?"

"Sure, what do you want?"

"First, shoot my wife, she's always been mouthy, so shoot her in the mouth. Then the neighbour, he's a mate of mine, a bit of a lad, so just shoot his dick off to teach him a lesson."

The hit man took the rifle and took aim, standing perfectly still for a few minutes.

"Are you going to do it or not?" said the friend impatiently.

"Just wait a moment, be patient," said the hit man calmly, "I think I can save you a grand ....."

Rockrolex · 27 June 2005, 01:36 AM

Nothing like a good laugh on a Sunday morning. And you're right. It took about a millisecond longer than normal to get it.

dman · 27 June 2005, 01:37 AM

OMG!! ROTFLMFAOLOL!!

JJ Irani · 27 June 2005, 05:03 AM

limbo · 7 May 2009, 10:46 PM

Lion · 7 May 2009, 10:53 PM

Excellent joke!!!

idk01 · 8 May 2009, 01:36 AM

Excellent!

Mosco · 8 May 2009, 02:27 AM

Jeeeeez - who dug up a thread back from when ol' Shep was a pup?

Bisquitlips · 8 May 2009, 08:55 AM

DHLChief · 8 May 2009, 09:28 AM

Good one! Thanks,

hflee55 · 8 May 2009, 10:26 AM

coddger · 9 May 2009, 01:32 PM

26 June 2005, 06:21 PM	#1
padi56 "TRF" Life Patron Join Date: Jun 2005 Real Name: Peter Location: Llanfairpwllgwyng Watch: ing you. Posts: 53,064	About To Tee Off. Some might have to think with this one, remember its all in the mind. Two old friends were just about to tee off at the first hole of their local golf course when a chap carrying a golf bag called out to them, "Do you mind if join you? My partner didn't turn up." "Sure," they said, "You're welcome." So they started playing and enjoyed the game and the company of the newcomer. Part way around the course, one of the friends asked the newcomer, "What do you do for a living?" "I'm a hit man," was the reply. "You're joking!" was the response. "No, I'm not," he said, reaching into his golf bag, and pulling out a beautiful Martini sniper's rifle with a large telescopic sight. "Here are my tools." "That's a beautiful telescopic sight," said the other friend, "Can I take a look? I think I might be able to see my house from here." So he picked up the rifle and looked through the sight in the direction of his house. "Yeah, I can see my house all right. This sight is fantastic. I can see right in the window. Wow, I can see my wife in the bedroom. Ha Ha, I can see she's naked! What's that?... Wait a minute, that's my neighbour in there with her. He's naked as well! ...That bitch!" He turned to the hit man, "How much do you charge for a hit?" "I do a flat rate, for you, one thousand dollars every time I pull the trigger." "Can you do two for me now?" "Sure, what do you want?" "First, shoot my wife, she's always been mouthy, so shoot her in the mouth. Then the neighbour, he's a mate of mine, a bit of a lad, so just shoot his dick off to teach him a lesson." The hit man took the rifle and took aim, standing perfectly still for a few minutes. "Are you going to do it or not?" said the friend impatiently. "Just wait a moment, be patient," said the hit man calmly, "I think I can save you a grand ....."

27 June 2005, 01:36 AM	#2
Rockrolex TRF Moderator & 2024 SubLV41 Patron Join Date: May 2005 Real Name: God Location: Washington, D.C. Watch: What do you think? Posts: 37,969	Nothing like a good laugh on a Sunday morning. And you're right. It took about a millisecond longer than normal to get it. __________________ Despite the high cost of living, it's still very popular. *Tosser Cabinet Member* Official Member: 'Perpetual 30' Vegas International GTG 2016 Official Member "WIS-CON" Las Vegas International GTG 2017 Official Member "WIS-CON" Las Vegas International GTG 2018 Official Member "WIS-CON" Las Vegas International GTG 2019

7 May 2009, 10:53 PM	#6
Lion "TRF" Member Join Date: Jan 2009 Real Name: Leo Location: Midwest Watch: GMT-II 16710 PEPSI Posts: 21,461	Excellent joke!!! __________________ SS GMT-II 16710 PEPSI(Z-serial#) THE ONLY DIFFERENCE BETWEEN MEN AND BOYS IS THE PRICE OF THE TOYS!!! MontBlanc Meisterstuck Doue Silver Barley MontBlanc Meisterstuck Solitaire Doue Signum Proud Card Carrying Member of the Curmudgeons.....Yikes!!!

8 May 2009, 01:36 AM	#7
idk01 "TRF" Member Join Date: Jan 2009 Real Name: Dave Location: Australia Watch: DJ16233TT Posts: 18,485	Excellent! __________________ *Apprentice to Terry Newton; Superstar and Fake Sleuth*

8 May 2009, 02:27 AM	#8
Mosco "TRF" Member Join Date: Dec 2008 Real Name: Greg Location: Cincinnati Watch: I like to... Posts: 18,567	Jeeeeez - who dug up a thread back from when ol' Shep was a pup? __________________ Instagram - @CaliberSwiss *“A man who procrastinates in his choosing will inevitably have his choice made for him by circumstance.” - Hunter S. Thompson*

27 June 2005, 01:37 AM	#3
dman Lifetime TRF Patron Join Date: May 2005 Real Name: Daren Location: Austin Watch: the road Posts: 13,585	OMG!! ROTFLMFAOLOL!!

27 June 2005, 05:03 AM	#4
JJ Irani Fondly Remembered Join Date: May 2005 Real Name: JJ Location: Auckland, NZ Watch: ALL SOLD!! Posts: 74,319

7 May 2009, 10:46 PM	#5
limbo "TRF" Member Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: Sydney Posts: 4,624

8 May 2009, 08:55 AM	#9
Bisquitlips 2024 Pledge Member Join Date: Sep 2008 Real Name: Richard Location: USA Watch: YM Deep Space Posts: 12,521	__________________ Rolex Yacht-Master 40mm (SS-YG / Deep Space MOP) 16623 Breitling Aerospace Titanium / 18K with UTC. Omega Speedmaster 3510.50 Oris TT1 Pro Diver Regulator 43MM

8 May 2009, 09:28 AM	#10
DHLChief Member Join Date: Feb 2008 Real Name: Walt Location: Minneapolis Watch: Savings Vaporize Posts: 268	Good one! Thanks,

8 May 2009, 10:26 AM	#11
hflee55 "TRF" Member Join Date: Oct 2008 Real Name: Andy Location: Kuala Lumpur, MY Watch: Me Watching You!! Posts: 3,260

9 May 2009, 01:32 PM	#12
coddger "TRF" Member Join Date: Feb 2009 Real Name: Only Mom Knows Location: Land Of The Free Watch: 116520,16610,16013 Posts: 1,573	__________________ Contentment Is Not The Fulfillment Of Getting All The Watches You Want, It Is The Realization Of How Many Rolexes You Already Have.

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