Gifting

[FLY-DOG]

As I start to get older I sometimes think about what I will do with my “stuff” upon my passing. I’ve been blessed by being able to help many relatives and others through college by paying for their tuition and books and giving them laptops for school so they could get a start in life. I have and continue to collect items I cherish but are unimportant to my relatives such as my kids, grand kids and others. They would only sell those items I cherish to liquidate for cash. Over the years and even up till now I’ve have many close friends and acquaintances that share similar interests such as guns, motorcycles, hot cars, boats, Rolex watches, or fine cigars. Although no single friend has all the same interests as me, each friend shares in at least one or two of my passions. I have my car buddies, my boat buddies, my motorcycle buddies, my shooting buddies, etc. Of course if my wife out lives me she’ll get the house, her personal car and all our savings, but that still leaves a lot of stuff she’s not interested in. Instead of leaving al my cherished hobby stuff and watches to relatives I have come up with the idea that I should put in my will to “gift” the stuff I most cherish to friends or acquaintances outside the family. I feel friends that share my in my interests would be more appreciative being gifted that special antique gun or decked out off shore fishing boat, or that Rolex I bought new when returning from the first Gulf War. I cherish these items because each watch, each gun, or each motorcycle or car has a history or story behind it that I’ve recorded and I’d rather leave them to someone with a shared passion. I’m not sure what some family members will think because they may be surprised that they are coming up empty and a total stranger to them is getting something of relatively great value but I’ve pretty much made my mind up….. and, my heart tells me that it’s the right thing to do. I know I’ve rambled a bit on getting to the point but am wondering if anyone else feels the same or would you just automatically leave everything to immediate family members because that’s what’s expected of you? I’ve still got another 25 – 30 years if I’m lucky and by then will have even more nice “stuff”, that’s why I’m trying to sort through these thoughts now and not wait until I get too old to do it. Your input and thoughts would be most appreciated.

[mannyv11]

I don't see a problem with giving your friends some of the things you have collected and enjoyed together. Also just because they are "friends" doesn't mean they aren't family.

I have some of the same friends from when I started first grade, I would also not hesitate one bit to gift them something that we have enjoyed together. It sounds like your head and your heart are in the right place on this one. I would not give one of my valuable possessions to someone if I knew they were just going to sell it for the cash.

It sounds like you're a great guy and have gifted and given many things already to your family, and it sounds like you are going to continue to do this. If you know they will be all set when you're gone (which it sounds like they will be) then by all means give your friends some of your toys to remember you by. Every time they get on that boat or look at that rolex they will have fantastic memories of you guys together enjoying the wonderful things you have collected.

Just my 2 cents

[chicfarmer1]

You asked, so: I completely disagree with your philosophy. If you have the chance to pass an inheritance on to your family (wife, children), I think you should. If they liquidate any or all of those material collections, they still get the benefit of those assets in the way that they can use. For this sort of giving to make sense (to me), you would have to be able to say that a friend has the same emotional importance to you as your family members do. Not about their connection to your stuff. How do you know the friend wouldn't just up and sell the boat/whatever toy? You don't, so the goal of caretaking the item is still not assured indefinitely. And you would have missed the chance to add to your kids' piggy bank. In my book, you're taking from them to benefit someone you care less about...does not add up.

If you are really concerned about the items not getting well treated upon your passing, liquidate beforehand yourself. Give your buddies the first right of refusal to buy them, if you like. But I believe you owe your estate to your wife/children.

[77T]

On a different angle, there's no better way to build friction than doing a good deep for one friend that is envied by another. Or perhaps by a family member.

There is some thinking that the race to zero is a noble pursuit, but that is mostly for people flying solo through life.

[Texican]

I will side with you on this one! I have thought about this same thing as of late and as long as family is taken care of I wouldn't hesitate leaving some of my collected stuff to friends who would appreciate it more. In the end you follow your heart, it always knows what's best to do....

[East Bay Rider]

I agree with you too.
With your family already cared for there is no reason not to share the passions that you shared in life with the very people you shared the passions with. It's not about giving a few people even more, it's about giving more people some.

[Grissom]

Faced with potentially the same issues (having a variety of collectibles that my family could care less about), and not wanting them to flip them in a garage sale or on eBay for pennies on the dollar, I decided that as I get closer to that time, I will begin to sell things and place the money in the bank.....although I will keep one or two more personal items (watches I have worn for many years, pens I have carried for as long) that I would want them to have once I am gone, as I'm sure they will have more use for the money than a bunch of stuff they don't really understand! One or two personal items they could actually use and remember me by should be sufficient for the non collectors that they are.

Were I to feel that my family really didn't need the money nor want the stuff I think I might do some of what the OP has mentioned. Sounds nice to surprise a few worthy folks with such a gift!

[watch watcher]

My nieces will get my cra... I mean stuff. When it comes to my watches, I'm sure they will be sold at a yard sale or at best thrown in a junk drawer, forgotten and unappreciated, since they have no idea, care or clue about that sort of thing. Depressing.

[Thatguy]

I agree with you. I never understood the mentality of expecting an inheritance. If any if my relatives pass away and want their stuff donated to their favorite charity or burned on the street corner, that is their right, it's their stuff! I would want the few cherished things I have to go to someone who would appreciate them be it friend or family.
It really doesn't matter in the end though cause I won't be around to see what happens to it anyway.

[Hooper]

Originally Posted by East Bay Rider

I agree with you too.
With your family already cared for there is no reason not to share the passions that you shared in life with the very people you shared the passions with. It's not about giving a few people even more, it's about giving more people some.

X2, go with what your heart tells you!

[MichaelB_Can]

The thing is , you may find that your family members tastes change and as they get older they start to enjoy a fine cigar , a fine watch or (that which we may not speak) . In the end they may surprise you . Can't say I would mind a friend thinking enough of me to leave me a watch , but what about MY kids ? If you have me your watch , maybe I have it for 10 years after you , then my kids sell yours & Mine !!!
No you have me thinking !


Mike B , Canada ⌚

[DoxaDavid]

Originally Posted by chicfarmer1

You asked, so: I completely disagree with your philosophy. If you have the chance to pass an inheritance on to your family (wife, children), I think you should. If they liquidate any or all of those material collections, they still get the benefit of those assets in the way that they can use. For this sort of giving to make sense (to me), you would have to be able to say that a friend has the same emotional importance to you as your family members do. Not about their connection to your stuff. How do you know the friend wouldn't just up and sell the boat/whatever toy? You don't, so the goal of caretaking the item is still not assured indefinitely. And you would have missed the chance to add to your kids' piggy bank. In my book, you're taking from them to benefit someone you care less about...does not add up.

If you are really concerned about the items not getting well treated upon your passing, liquidate beforehand yourself. Give your buddies the first right of refusal to buy them, if you like. But I believe you owe your estate to your wife/children.

I lean towards this as well but perhaps we don't have all the facts. Much depends in my opinion on what the OP has in the way of assets which will be passed on.

As example, if his net worth is sufficient to take care of his family and the personnel items he wants to gift are insignificant in relation to the overall value, then I see no problem with gifting special items...even if expensive...to friends but if not, then yes I agree with you.

As example. You have a personal net worth of $1M and your watches, motorcycle, boat, etc are worth $100K, I don't see a problem as long as your spouse is on board, gifting 10% of your net worth away to friends who have spent a lifetime spending time with you. Same goes to charitable gifting.

But if what you plan to gift is over 10%, than I think you are doing a disservice to your family. What if you gift away 50% of your net worth and your spouse or child has a major financial set back or illness? They could have liquidated one of your valued possessions to aid them and wouldn't you have wanted that? We have no way of knowing what the future may hold so I would just want to make sure my family was as well taken care of as possible before I gave away my "stuff".

Just my opinion because you asked.

[DoxaDavid]

I would add by the way, the formula changes as you have more assets. I have known people with great wealth who gave away more than half their fortune but still left millions to their heirs so its a bit relative to what the total net worth value is.

Look at Bill Gates as example. His family is WELL cared for but he is planing on giving away 90% of his net worth or something like it but that measly 10% he isn't gifting will still be in the billions so I don't think the next generation of Gates will have to worry about where the next meal will come from!

[airchitect]

It sounds nice to take care of your heirs but if I see one more person on Pawn Stars selling their fathers cherished____________ for pennies on the dollar just so they can gamble, go to dinner, buy a tv, etc.... I will begin verbally harassing them through the tube. You came into the world cold, broke, and naked and you will go out that way. Deciding how you do it is your choice and nobody else's.

[JasoninDenver]

you have already done more than most can or would for your family and your wife would presumably have the benefit of your house and liquid assets so I totally agree with you.

Think of all the great memories your friends will have when they enjoy an item you left them that you know they will appreciate.

You know in your heart what you want to do and you do not have to justify it to anyone else.

[Launch Mini]

Gift them before you die.
Around here, ANY and ALL beneficiaries of a WILL are entitled to see the entire Will.
They will know what you are leaving to everyone else and you wife & kids for that matter.
I have seen in far too many times ( even amongst siblings ) where fighting occurs almost immediately upon death, over the silliest of things.
Good luck with your choice.
On the bright side, you won't be around to see the fighting.

[TheVTCGuy]

I am going to PM all of you my address....


In all seriousness, I understand. I have no children and honestly, very limited cra- stuff, but being an only child I have all of my parents possessions. Some are very nice (antique jewelry for example), what do I do with it? The family line ends with me (good or bad as that may be) so who will accept and appreciate these items?

[East Bay Rider]

Originally Posted by TheVTCGuy

I am going to PM all of you my address....


In all seriousness, I understand. I have no children and honestly, very limited cra- stuff, but being an only child I have all of my parents possessions. Some are very nice (antique jewelry for example), what do I do with it? The family line ends with me (good or bad as that may be) so who will accept and appreciate these items?

I will Paul.


You're welcome.

[TheVTCGuy]

Originally Posted by East Bay Rider

I will Paul.


You're welcome.

Whew.... thanks Bill.

I'll start packing them up....

[daveathall]

Originally Posted by chicfarmer1

You asked, so: I completely disagree with your philosophy. If you have the chance to pass an inheritance on to your family (wife, children), I think you should. If they liquidate any or all of those material collections, they still get the benefit of those assets in the way that they can use. For this sort of giving to make sense (to me), you would have to be able to say that a friend has the same emotional importance to you as your family members do. Not about their connection to your stuff. How do you know the friend wouldn't just up and sell the boat/whatever toy? You don't, so the goal of caretaking the item is still not assured indefinitely. And you would have missed the chance to add to your kids' piggy bank. In my book, you're taking from them to benefit someone you care less about...does not add up.

If you are really concerned about the items not getting well treated upon your passing, liquidate beforehand yourself. Give your buddies the first right of refusal to buy them, if you like. But I believe you owe your estate to your wife/children.

I agree with this fully. IMHO, family first, always.

[DiamondJack]

I think as well as value, it also depends on the relative age of your friends.

Most of the closest friends I would consider gifting items to are more or less the same age as me...... Therefore the chances are you would just be gifting something to be inherited by their family and then sold for cash......

So for anything with any meaningful value, I would always keep it within my own family and hope they keep them to pass on again.....

I'm not sure whether it is possible to gift a life interest to a friend for their use and enjoyment with the item reverting back to your own family on their death? But probably difficult to monitor and expensive to arrange.

[FLY-DOG]

Thank you everyone for your input; I see your opinions fall on both sides. Perhaps I wasn't clear enough but my wife and family will be well taken care of. The items I'm talking about (maybe $200K) are but a small percentage of our estate and would not impact how any family members are cared for. Our only child (son) will get a nice Rolex, a couple prized firearms and a nice inheritance. Since my wife and son don't really have the interest in my hobbies that I and some very close friends do, I plan on gifting most of the "toys" to my close friends. My wife agrees with me if it matters…..we have always taken care of her family; bought them a nice house in their native country, paid all their medical bills when they got older and passed - paid funeral expenses. We put all her siblings through high school and college as well as my son and grandkids. My wife and I both agree it would be nice to do something for some lifelong friends and consider the gifts to be inconsequential to the value of our estate.

[Tools]

Don't forget that there is a "gift tax" in the US that the giver must pay in addition to the gift that you give..

Happy giving..

[East Bay Rider]