Sage advice

[Dr. Robert]

Simple truth #1
Lovers help each other undress before sex.
However after sex, they always dress on their own.
Moral of the story: In life, no one helps you once you're screwed.

Simple truth #2
When a lady is pregnant, all her friends touch her stomach and say "congratulations"
But none of them touch the man's penis and say "good job"
Moral of the story: Hard work is never appreciated.

5 rules to remember in life.

1. Money can't buy happiness, but it's more comfortable to cry in a Bentley than on a bicycle.

2. Forgive your enemy, but remember the bastard's name.

3. If you help someone when they're in trouble, they will remember you when they're in trouble again.

4. Many people are alive only because it's illegal to shoot them.

5. Alcohol doesn't solve any problems, but then neither does milk.


And finally
Condoms don't guarantee safe sex. A friend of mine was wearing one when he was shot by the woman's husband.