Marriage Commandments

[Hamilton Carvalho]

The Marriage Commandments:


Commandment 1.

Marriages are made in heaven.

But so again, are thunder and lightning.


Commandment 2.

If you want your wife to listen and pay strict attention

to every word you say,

talk in your sleep.


Commandment 3.

Marriage is grand -- and divorce is at least 100 grand!


Commandment 4.

Married life is very frustrating.

In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the

woman listens.

In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens.

In the third year, they both speak and the neighbours

listen.


Commandment 5.

When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you

can be sure of one thing:

Either the car is new or the wife is.


Commandment 6.

Marriage is when a man and woman become as one. The

trouble starts when they

try to decide which one.


Commandment 7.

Before marriage, a man will lie awake all night thinking

about something you say.

After marriage, he will fall asleep before you finish.


Commandment 8.

Every man wants a wife who is beautiful, understanding,

economical, and a good

cook.

But the law allows only one wife.


Commandment 9.

Marriage and love are purely matter of chemistry.

That is why the wife treats the husband like toxic waste.


Commandment 10.

A man is incomplete until he is married.

After that, he is finished.


Bonus Commandment story.

A long married couple came upon a wishing well.

The wife leaned over, made a wish and threw in a penny.

The husband decided to make a wish too.

But he leaned over too much, fell into the well, and

drowned.

The wife was stunned for a moment but then smiled,

'Wow! This stuff really Works!'

[GMTII Owner]

[JJ Irani]

[limbo]

[Ashley]

I like number five :D

[TDH]

[oneillba]

Great stuff... thanks for the laugh.

[jasonbellevue]