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Old 21 May 2008, 12:32 PM   #1
ROLEX MAN
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Job Application of a 75 year old!

This is an actual job application that a 75 year old senior citizen submitted to Wal-mart in Arkansas
They hired him because he was so funny.....

NAME: Kenneth Way (Grumpy Old Bastard)

SEX: Not lately, but I am looking for the right woman (or at least one who will cooperate)

DESIRED POSITION: Company's President or Vice President. But seriously,
whatever's available.. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn't be applying here in the first place

DESIRED SALARY: $185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz
style severance package. If that's not possible, make an offer and we can haggle.

EDUCATION: Yes.

LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle management hostility.

PREVIOUS SALARY: A lot less than I'm worth.

MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My incredible collection of stolen pens and post-it notes.

REASON FOR LEAVING: It sucked.

HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK: Any.

PREFERRED HOURS: 1:30-3:30 p.m. Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday.

DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS?: Yes, but they're better suited to a more intimate environment .

MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER?: If I had one, would I be here?

DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU FROM LIFTING UP
TO 50 lbs.?: Of what?

DO YOU HAVE A CAR?: I think the more appropriate question here would be 'Do you have a car that runs?'

HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITION?: I may already be a
winner of the Publishers Clearing House Sweepstakes, so they tell me.

DO YOU SMOKE?: On the job - no! On my breaks - yes!

WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS?: Living in the Bahamas with a
fabulously wealthy dumb sexy blonde supermodel who thinks I'm the greatest
thing since sliced bread. Actually, I'd like to be doing that now.

NEAREST RELATIVE: 7 miles

DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF YOUR
KNOWLEDGE?: Oh yes, absolutely.
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Old 21 May 2008, 12:44 PM   #2
Ashley
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That's awesome. I work as a "partner" with Walmart, and I often go to them to look through their application forms/resumes that were submitted.
I think the even funnier applications are the ones made by twelve year olds. If I was allowed to, I would totally photocopy them and post them here. HILARIOUS!
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Old 21 May 2008, 12:51 PM   #3
Incurable
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Hey... that guy plagiarized my resume :
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Old 21 May 2008, 05:10 PM   #4
JJ Irani
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Bloody genius!! Give that guy the President's chair!!
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Old 21 May 2008, 05:18 PM   #5
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Old 21 May 2008, 08:03 PM   #6
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Looks like a very normal CV to me


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Old 21 May 2008, 08:29 PM   #7
topcat30093
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I wonder if the gent got the job.
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Old 22 May 2008, 05:09 PM   #8
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Old 23 May 2008, 03:45 PM   #9
TDH
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me...I'm already in the Bahamas!
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