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21 May 2008, 12:32 PM | #1 |
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Job Application of a 75 year old!
This is an actual job application that a 75 year old senior citizen submitted to Wal-mart in Arkansas
They hired him because he was so funny..... NAME: Kenneth Way (Grumpy Old Bastard) SEX: Not lately, but I am looking for the right woman (or at least one who will cooperate) DESIRED POSITION: Company's President or Vice President. But seriously, whatever's available.. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn't be applying here in the first place DESIRED SALARY: $185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz style severance package. If that's not possible, make an offer and we can haggle. EDUCATION: Yes. LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle management hostility. PREVIOUS SALARY: A lot less than I'm worth. MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My incredible collection of stolen pens and post-it notes. REASON FOR LEAVING: It sucked. HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK: Any. PREFERRED HOURS: 1:30-3:30 p.m. Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday. DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS?: Yes, but they're better suited to a more intimate environment . MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER?: If I had one, would I be here? DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU FROM LIFTING UP TO 50 lbs.?: Of what? DO YOU HAVE A CAR?: I think the more appropriate question here would be 'Do you have a car that runs?' HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITION?: I may already be a winner of the Publishers Clearing House Sweepstakes, so they tell me. DO YOU SMOKE?: On the job - no! On my breaks - yes! WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS?: Living in the Bahamas with a fabulously wealthy dumb sexy blonde supermodel who thinks I'm the greatest thing since sliced bread. Actually, I'd like to be doing that now. NEAREST RELATIVE: 7 miles DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF YOUR KNOWLEDGE?: Oh yes, absolutely.
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21 May 2008, 12:44 PM | #2 |
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That's awesome. I work as a "partner" with Walmart, and I often go to them to look through their application forms/resumes that were submitted.
I think the even funnier applications are the ones made by twelve year olds. If I was allowed to, I would totally photocopy them and post them here. HILARIOUS! |
21 May 2008, 12:51 PM | #3 |
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Hey... that guy plagiarized my resume :
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21 May 2008, 05:10 PM | #4 |
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Bloody genius!! Give that guy the President's chair!!
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21 May 2008, 05:18 PM | #5 |
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21 May 2008, 08:03 PM | #6 |
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Looks like a very normal CV to me
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21 May 2008, 08:29 PM | #7 |
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I wonder if the gent got the job.
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22 May 2008, 05:09 PM | #8 |
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23 May 2008, 03:45 PM | #9 |
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me...I'm already in the Bahamas!
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