One Rolex, Two Sons, Inheritance

[Easy Rhino]

Not looking to be strictly Biblical with this one.

My daily wear Sub is my only Rolex. I have two grown adult sons (neither married and no grand kids). While I will leave an estate that includes many keepsakes, as well as an inheritance, there is only the one watch.

Not that it matters, but they are very different - one soon to be in NYC "Big Law" litigation with a top firm, the other a tech in government industry. In some ways an old Sub may be too little watch for #1 Son and too much for #2 Son.

Should I be concerned about fair and even treatment in the case of the watch?

[ADINVA]

It is not the value of the watch that matters, it is the family-bond that truly matters. I do wish my dad did pass his belongings to us.

[Abdullah71601]

Are you planning to check out soon? If not, you can buy another watch.

You might also consider letting them sort that out on their own after you've left.

[m1911a1]

Are you on your way out soon?
Hope not!
Anyway.....they're just watches....or so I thought.....
This past fall I was going to buy my 32 year old twin daughters new Stainless Steel Rolexes....
However, they BOTH said they wanted MINE.....a Sub & Explorer-II....
So I sent them in for total service at Rolex and received them back in perfect condition with 2 year warranties....

They actually said they wanted my exact watches.....
1) Because they like those models....one girl liked white, the other girl liked my black one.
2) Because they were mine

Do what you feel works for you.....no right answers....
Regarding inheritance, I'd rather help them now than later....while I'm still living and they're still younger.

Watches are just watches....but it meant more to my daughters than it did me....

[alanc]

That depends on a lot of things we don't know, like your relationship with your two sons, how either or both feel about the watch, whether you have a spouse that is younger than you (and thus likely to survive you) and on and on...

Stock answers are buy another one and have two to pass on, or don't give it to either, give it to a good friend, niece/nephew instead.

Beyond that, too personal a question to answer.

[breitlings]

I'd buy two

[Wcdhtwn]

Does one son show more interest in your watch than the other? Is one more into watches in general? How about just asking them and they can come to a decision on who wants the watch.

[ltmgeller]

I think it's time to pick up a nice pm piece for yourself. That would be great for the lawyer son and I have to say the sub is so versatile it be great for your other son. You have a reason to shop now. Just my 2 cents. My kids have already divided up my collection but have a way to go before collecting.

[Easy Rhino]

Insightful answers, thanks.

Not planning on checking out soon, but update the estate planning annually. It is that time of year, but I have never yet been so specific with individual bequeaths.

In any case, my thoughts are that if I were to assign it to one (or even to obtain a second fine watch), that being specific in the will makes it more of an heirloom.

Funny, of all of the things I own to pass down, including an early Martin guitar, antique firearms, and a classic Corvette collection, the Rolex seems the most personal. My wife, their Mother, gave it to me on the occasion of our 25th wedding anniversary.

[Brian HCM#1]

I have 2 other brothers (9 years older and 3 years younger), my dad had a YG 1803 which I always had my eye on and would talk to him about it every time he wore it. He promised it to me when he was gone. My other brothers didn't show a lot of interest in it as the older brother wears a Yacht Master, the younger just doesn't care. My dad passed 4 years ago. I took me over a year to even want to take the watch as it sat in the bank safe deposit box since his passing. I've since had it serviced, but to be honest its a safe queen now. I only wear it on special occasions which is about 3-4 times a year. Other than that I wear my SS Daytona. I only have one son, so he's well aware they are both his when my time comes which hopefully not for a very very long time.

[vol375]

I have my Dad's speedy pro with the box, papers and original receipt for $225. I'll never get rid of it, but I also don't wear it every day. The connection to the past is what is important, not that the watch is exactly what I would have bought. I love the speedy pro, but I really like to have the date on my watch. Plus the older bands are not as robust, and I would be pretty upset if anything happened to it.

Suggestion: Buy a new old stock sub or a new model and start wearing them both (not at the same time:). I am sure they will both appreciate the watch more than you'll ever know. Even if they don't, their kids might.

[Goldfish68]

Originally Posted by m1911a1

Are you on your way out soon?
Hope not!
Anyway.....they're just watches....or so I thought.....
This past fall I was going to buy my 32 year old twin daughters new Stainless Steel Rolexes....
However, they BOTH said they wanted MINE.....a Sub & Explorer-II....
So I sent them in for total service at Rolex and received them back in perfect condition with 2 year warranties....

They actually said they wanted my exact watches.....
1) Because they like those models....one girl liked white, the other girl liked my black one.
2) Because they were mine

Do what you feel works for you.....no right answers....
Regarding inheritance, I'd rather help them now than later....while I'm still living and they're still younger.

Watches are just watches....but it meant more to my daughters than it did me....

Priceless

[jctrolex]

Originally Posted by Abdullah71601

Are you planning to check out soon? If not, you can buy another watch.

You might also consider letting them sort that out on their own after you've left.

Good advice on the first point buy another Rolex may be a DJ which would be a bit more suitable for the counsellor. I think the sub is perfect for the techie. It really is up to the individual taste. In the mean time you can enjoy another watch.
Not so good on the second point. I've seen family members fight over the stupidest little things from their parents and refuse to talk to each other for decades. It's a funny thing about inheritance a lot of times is not about the size of the estate, it's about emotions and long buried feelings. The littlest things like dads old hunting rifle or moms tea cups can fester into World War III.

[Easy Rhino]

Originally Posted by jctrolex

I've seen family members fight over the stupidest little things from their parents and refuse to talk to each other for decades. It's a funny thing about inheritance a lot of times is not about the size of the estate, it's about emotions and long buried feelings. The littlest things like dads old hunting rifle or moms tea cups can fester into World War III.

You have actually touched on the two things that this thread is actually about for me.

First, having a family heirloom as a keepsake is important to me, as well as to the functional members of my family. The value is not monetary. I carry my Grandfather's money clip (of little to no value), as a touchstone to his character and all that he did for his family. He has been gone more than 20 years, and I think about his kind wisdom, patience, and courage every time I use the money clip.

Second, I have family members, many long gone, who behaved horribly over estate entitlements, and it makes me sad for them. Having valued items assigned is part of avoiding or minimizing that. I promise nothing to my sons verbally. They will have to wait until the executor reads the will to know if they get anything. I, and they, do not believe in entitlements.

My estate will be evenly divided between my Sons, and assigned down to everything short of pocket lint.

[goin camping]

Just leave it open to whoever wants it and if both do. A coin toss decides.

[TimeRookie]

I've had some very bad experiences with my father's estate. I'm not sure it could have been predicted but it has made me cautious about my own estate and given me enough experience to be sure I do a good job in my estate's preparation.
You sound like you have your estate very much under control. As far as the watches are concerned, I would get another Rolex of similar value, so you can give one to each son. I would likely get exactly the same watch so there is absolutely no controversy later. That way, no one will notice the new watch and your son's will be pleasantly surprised when there is one for each of them, after your passing.

[bdex75]

Originally Posted by Easy Rhino

You have actually touched on the two things that this thread is actually about for me.



First, having a family heirloom as a keepsake is important to me, as well as to the functional members of my family. The value is not monetary. I carry my Grandfather's money clip (of little to no value), as a touchstone to his character and all that he did for his family. He has been gone more than 20 years, and I think about his kind wisdom, patience, and courage every time I use the money clip.



Second, I have family members, many long gone, who behaved horribly over estate entitlements, and it makes me sad for them. Having valued items assigned is part of avoiding or minimizing that. I promise nothing to my sons verbally. They will have to wait until the executor reads the will to know if they get anything. I, and they, do not believe in entitlements.



My estate will be evenly divided between my Sons, and assigned down to everything short of pocket lint.

I think this is very smart. I have seen children not speak for years over the silliest possessions or perceived inequities.

Have you had a conversation with your sons about what items are of interest to them? If you have an antique firearm collection that is of no interest to one son why leave him 50% of something that he has no interest in, especially if the other son has a great interest in that collection. Same thing for the corvette collection.

I see it all the time with farm land. People have 2 kids and one farms and one does not. They just go 50/50 on everything. And the kid that farms ends up having to find a bunch of cash to keep the farm because his sibling just wants cash.


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[Easy Rhino]

Originally Posted by goin camping

Just leave it open to whoever wants it and if both do. A coin toss decides.

Nope. I understand this line of thinking, but have seen some bad results from it. But your point is made.

Originally Posted by TimeRookie

I've had some very bad experiences with my father's estate. I'm not sure it could have been predicted but it has made me cautious about my own estate and given me enough experience to be sure I do a good job in my estate's preparation.

This is exactly why I am working on this - I have seen both sides of my family, as well as my wife's family, behave very badly in settling estates. You can never imagine how badly people can act until you have seen people tearing at each other for material goods.

Originally Posted by bdex75

I think this is very smart. I have seen children not speak for years over the silliest possessions or perceived inequities.

Have you had a conversation with your sons about what items are of interest to them? If you have an antique firearm collection that is of no interest to one son why leave him 50% of something that he has no interest in, especially if the other son has a great interest in that collection. Same thing for the corvette collection.

I see it all the time with farm land. People have 2 kids and one farms and one does not. They just go 50/50 on everything.

Again, solid thoughts. My oldest son will want mostly cash, in addition to a small number of keepsakes, like a watch and the Martin. He is more about refined things, and lives compactly in big cities.

My youngest will want the Corvette collection and the firearms. He is more about torque and recoil, and will wind up living with more land eventually.

I do like the idea of getting another Rolex, though

I appreciate everybody's insights.

[MCO1]

That is a tough one...depends on if they are watch wearers/lovers or not. The safe bet would to purchase another, maybe a similar vintage to the Sub GMT. Variety for you and similar watches in value and style for them. If that is not an option then either let them sort it out.

[AK797]

Buying another Rolex of similar value seems the fairest option. Whether they are into watches or not they will really appreciate them as a part of you when you have gone. I have my father's watch which I don't wear and I'm a watch guy but I will ofc never give it away.

[Investr]

Make em arm wrestle for it.....

[GB-man]

I would take this opportunity to add something to your watch collection! Get whatever you like and then sit down with them when the time is right (down the road), to ask who would like what before ultimately making the decision yourself.

[Rolex addict]

Like others have said, sounds like the perfect excuse to buy another one.

[Gasoil4ever]

Why not ask them ?

On my side bought a lady OP for the birth of my daughter, worn by her mum. Bought a SD4k for the birth of my son.

They will get those when time as come (graduation, wedding). The rest of the collection will have to be discussed about.

[Aceldama]

My sons are 7 and 8 and I had the same nagging question. Both of my boys are watch obsessed. Every time I pull a watch out of the case one of them gets to shake it, set it, and place it on the winder. They each are "collecting" Lego watches.

I recently picked up my birth year 5513 to go along with my 16610. I decided to sell the 16610 and immediately regretted it. I decided to pick up a non-sub to have two watches for my boys when I'm gone: A 16700 since I work with several international customers.

Now I'll get to stress on who gets which one...

[Daytona88]

I love the idea and valid excuse to get another Rolex. Maybe try to get an idea of what the lawyer would appreciate and line that up with your tastes. Win/win!

[ref1655]

Originally Posted by Easy Rhino

Funny, of all of the things I own to pass down, including an early Martin guitar, antique firearms, and a classic Corvette collection, the Rolex seems the most personal.

as Abdullah mentioned, you could consider buying a second Rolex. on the other hand, you've got some very nice items to pass down. if music/guitar-playing is a passion amongst one of your sons. then the older Martin would certainly be a worthy remembrance...especially if it is a pre-war model!

their individual hobbies & interests could serve as a good guideline along with the varying levels of appreciation you feel they have for certain things.

[Limestonedan]

Originally Posted by Gasoil4ever

Why not ask them ?

On my side bought a lady OP for the birth of my daughter, worn by her mum. Bought a SD4k for the birth of my son.

They will get those when time as come (graduation, wedding). The rest of the collection will have to be discussed about.

X2. When together just ask. The son that doesn't get it will get other stuff..

In my case, two sons will split the small watch collection. However, one son doesn't like bigger style watches and doesn't have the wrist for it so he'll get the smaller dressier pieces which will suit him fine at his big accounting firm and my other son loves the big watches and has the wrist for it..

[WatchWeb]

I will eventually get my fathers Coke GMT . I can't wait to get it, however I would prefer my father in my life with his watch than his watch and no father.

Anywhoo that's an unfortunate guarantee in life.

When I get it , it will never be sold. It's not the most expensive watch in the world but no matter what I have in my collection at the time, it will be my favourite as its his.

Back to OP situation, why don't you ask which son would like it ?, if one doesn't then could offer cash equivalent ?.

[johneh]

Bury it somewhere and leave them both a treasure map. Whoever finds it first gets to keep it.