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Old 21 October 2016, 10:14 AM   #1
Ruud Van Driver
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Tom's Nuts (work/child safe)

The pastor asked if anyone in the congregation would like to express praise for answered prayers. Suzie Smith stood and walked to the podium.

She said, "I have a praise. Two months ago, my husband, Tom, had a terrible bicycle accident and his scrotum was completely crushed. The pain was excruciating and the doctors didn't know if they could help him."

You could hear a muffled gasp from the men in the congregation as they imagine the pain that poor Tom must have experienced. "Tom was unable to hold me or the children," she went on, "and every move caused him terrible pain. We prayed as the doctors performed a delicate operation, and it turned out they were able to piece together the crushed remnants of Tom's scrotum, and wrap wire around it to hold it in place."

Again, the men in the congregation cringed and squirmed uncomfortably as they imagined the horrible surgery performed on Tom.

"Now," she announced in a quivering voice, "thank the Lord, Tom is out of the hospital and the doctors say that with time, his scrotum should recover completely."

All the men sighed with unified relief. The pastor rose and tentatively asked if anyone else had something to say.

A man stood up and walked slowly to the podium. He said, "I'm Tom Smith." The entire congregation held its breath.

“I just want to tell my wife the word is 'sternum'.”



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Old 22 October 2016, 02:27 PM   #2
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Old 24 October 2016, 08:07 AM   #3
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Old 24 October 2016, 11:01 AM   #4
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very cute joke
perhaps not too far from reality - senior hearing and all hahaha
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Old 25 October 2016, 11:56 AM   #5
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Old 29 October 2016, 10:01 PM   #6
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