For all the Golfers...

[Iron Dealer 1]

In My Hand I Hold A Ball,
White And
Dimpled...Rather Small.
Oh, How Bland It Does Appear,
This Harmless Looking Little Sphere.

By Its Size I Could Not
Guess
The Awesome Strength it does
possess.
But Since I Fell Beneath Its
Spell,
I've Wandered Through The Fires Of
Hell.

My Life Has Not Been Quite The Same
Since I Chose To
Play This Stupid Game.
It Rules My Mind For Hours On
End;
A Fortune It Has Made Me Spend.

It Has
Made Me Curse And Made Me Cry,
And Hate Myself And Want To Die.
It
Promises Me A Thing Called Par,
If I Hit It Straight And Far.

To Master Such A Tiny Ball,
Should Not Be Very Hard At All.
But My Desires The Ball
Refuses,
And Does Exactly As It Chooses.

It
Hooks And Slices, Dribbles And Dies,
And Disappears Before My Eyes.
Often It Will Have A Whim,
To Hit A Tree Or Take A Swim.

With
Miles Of Grass On Which To Land,
It Finds A Tiny Patch Of Sand.
Then Has Me Offering Up My Soul,
If Only It Would Find The Hole.

It's Made Me Whimper Like A Pup,
And Swear That I Will Give It Up.
And Take To Drink To Ease My
Sorrow,
But The Ball Knows ... I'll Be Back
Tomorrow


Stand proud, noble swingers of clubs and
losers of balls!

Recent studies found average golfers
walk 900 miles a year.

Another study found golfers
drink 22
gallons of alcohol a year.

This means, on average, golfers get
41 miles to the gallon!

Kind of makes you
proud.
Almost makes you feel like
a hybrid.