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idk01 · 26 April 2009, 02:07 AM

One day, a man came home and was greeted by his wife dressed in a very sexy
nightie. "Tie me up," she purred, "and you can do anything you want."
So he tied her up and went golfing.

**************************************************
A woman came home, screeching her car into the driveway, and ran into the
house. She slammed the door and shouted at the top of her lungs, "Honey,
pack your bags. I won the lottery!"
The husband said, "Oh my God! What should I pack, beach stuff or mountain
stuff?" "Doesn't matter," she said. "Just get out."

**************************************************
Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right, and the
other is a husband.

**************************************************
A wife was making a breakfast of fried eggs for her husband. Suddenly, her
husband burst into the kitchen.
Careful," he said, "CAREFUL! Put in some more butter! Oh my GOD! You're
cooking too many at once. TOO MANY! Turn them! TURN THEM NOW! We need
more butter. Oh my GOD! WHERE are we going to get MORE BUTTER?
They're going to STICK! Careful CAREFUL! I said be CAREFUL! You NEVER
listen to me when you're cooking! Never! Turn them! Hurry up! Are you
CRAZY? Have you LOST your mind? Don't forget to salt them. You know you
always forget to salt them. Use the salt. USE THE SALT! THE SALT!"
The wife stared at him. "What in the world is wrong with you? You think I
don't know how to fry a couple of eggs?"
The husband calmly replied, "I just wanted to show you what it feels like
when I'm driving."

diablojota · 26 April 2009, 03:25 AM

Those are great, especially the last one! I'm gonna have to try that.

JJ Irani · 26 April 2009, 05:57 AM

limbo · 26 April 2009, 07:49 AM

Lion · 26 April 2009, 08:11 AM

Very good!!!

Latrodectus · 26 April 2009, 10:31 AM

Bisquitlips · 26 April 2009, 10:31 AM

hflee55 · 26 April 2009, 12:17 PM

coddger · 26 April 2009, 12:55 PM

Lisa · 26 April 2009, 02:26 PM

Uh-oh - I think I liked the second one a little too much!

Carolina · 26 April 2009, 02:45 PM

If it's any consolation, I think the first one is me...

Lisa · 26 April 2009, 02:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Carolina

If it's any consolation, I think the first one is me...

Golf Widow? Meet Basement Widow.

Carolina · 26 April 2009, 03:03 PM

That's why I'm oogling Dmitri Hvorostovsky right now. (OK, hubby is asleep, not playing golf right now...)

SLS · 26 April 2009, 08:11 PM

swatty · 26 April 2009, 08:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lisa

Golf Widow? Meet Basement Widow.

You girls are always welcome to play a round with me

Golf that is

Carolina · 27 April 2009, 12:01 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by swatty

You girls are always welcome to play a round with me

Golf that is

*sigh* another golf nut!

swatty · 27 April 2009, 08:05 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Carolina

*sigh* another golf nut!

Randy · 27 April 2009, 10:21 AM

26 April 2009, 02:07 AM	#1
idk01 "TRF" Member Join Date: Jan 2009 Real Name: Dave Location: Australia Watch: DJ16233TT Posts: 18,485	Relationships One day, a man came home and was greeted by his wife dressed in a very sexy nightie. "Tie me up," she purred, "and you can do anything you want." So he tied her up and went golfing. ************************************************ A woman came home, screeching her car into the driveway, and ran into the house. She slammed the door and shouted at the top of her lungs, "Honey, pack your bags. I won the lottery!" The husband said, "Oh my God! What should I pack, beach stuff or mountain stuff?" "Doesn't matter," she said. "Just get out." ********************************************** Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right, and the other is a husband. ********************************************** A wife was making a breakfast of fried eggs for her husband. Suddenly, her husband burst into the kitchen. Careful," he said, "CAREFUL! Put in some more butter! Oh my GOD! You're cooking too many at once. TOO MANY! Turn them! TURN THEM NOW! We need more butter. Oh my GOD! WHERE are we going to get MORE BUTTER? They're going to STICK! Careful CAREFUL! I said be CAREFUL! You NEVER listen to me when you're cooking! Never! Turn them! Hurry up! Are you CRAZY? Have you LOST your mind? Don't forget to salt them. You know you always forget to salt them. Use the salt. USE THE SALT! THE SALT!" The wife stared at him. "What in the world is wrong with you? You think I don't know how to fry a couple of eggs?" The husband calmly replied, "I just wanted to show you what it feels like when I'm driving." __________________ Apprentice to Terry Newton; Superstar and Fake Sleuth**

26 April 2009, 03:25 AM	#2
diablojota "TRF" Member Join Date: Mar 2006 Real Name: Frank Location: Chattanooga, TN Watch: SS Submariner Date Posts: 4,042	Those are great, especially the last one! I'm gonna have to try that. __________________ RTFT - Read The Friggin' Thread FcB

26 April 2009, 05:57 AM	#3
JJ Irani Fondly Remembered Join Date: May 2005 Real Name: JJ Location: Auckland, NZ Watch: ALL SOLD!! Posts: 74,319	__________________ Words fail me in expressing my utmost thanks to ALL of you for this wonderful support during my hour of need!! I firmly believe that my time on planet earth is NOT yet up!! I shall fight this to the very end.......and WIN!!

26 April 2009, 08:11 AM	#5
Lion "TRF" Member Join Date: Jan 2009 Real Name: Leo Location: Midwest Watch: GMT-II 16710 PEPSI Posts: 21,461	Very good!!! __________________ SS GMT-II 16710 PEPSI(Z-serial#) THE ONLY DIFFERENCE BETWEEN MEN AND BOYS IS THE PRICE OF THE TOYS!!! MontBlanc Meisterstuck Doue Silver Barley MontBlanc Meisterstuck Solitaire Doue Signum Proud Card Carrying Member of the Curmudgeons.....Yikes!!!

26 April 2009, 10:31 AM	#6
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26 April 2009, 07:49 AM	#4
limbo "TRF" Member Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: Sydney Posts: 4,624

26 April 2009, 10:31 AM	#7
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26 April 2009, 12:17 PM	#8
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26 April 2009, 12:55 PM	#9
coddger "TRF" Member Join Date: Feb 2009 Real Name: Only Mom Knows Location: Land Of The Free Watch: 116520,16610,16013 Posts: 1,573	__________________ Contentment Is Not The Fulfillment Of Getting All The Watches You Want, It Is The Realization Of How Many Rolexes You Already Have.

26 April 2009, 02:26 PM	#10
Lisa "TRF" Member Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: oklahoma city Posts: 15,741	Uh-oh - I think I liked the second one a little too much!

26 April 2009, 02:45 PM	#11
Carolina "TRF" Member Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: North Carolina Watch: it, Bubba! Posts: 6,271	If it's any consolation, I think the first one is me... __________________ . .Member #5380 .

26 April 2009, 03:03 PM	#13
Carolina "TRF" Member Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: North Carolina Watch: it, Bubba! Posts: 6,271	That's why I'm oogling Dmitri Hvorostovsky right now. (OK, hubby is asleep, not playing golf right now...) __________________ . .Member #5380 .

26 April 2009, 08:11 PM	#14
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27 April 2009, 10:21 AM	#18
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