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21 August 2010, 04:47 AM | #1 |
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Forrest Gump Goes to Heaven
The day finally arrived. Forrest Gump dies & goes to heaven.
He is at the pearly gates, met by St. Peter himself. However, the gates are closed & Forrest approaches the gatekeeper. St Peter said, "Well, Forrest, it is certainly good to see you. We have heard a lot about you. I must tell you, though, that the place is filling up fast, & we have been administering an entrance examination for everyone. The test is short, but you have to pass it before you can get into heaven." Forrest responds, It sure is good to be here, St. Peter, sir. But nobody ever told me about any entrance exam. I sure hope that the test ain't too hard. Life was a big enough test for me as it was." St. Peter continued, "Yes, I know Forrest, but the test is only 3 questions." 1st question......What 2 days of the week begin w/ the letter "T"? 2nd question.....How many seconds are there in a year? 3rd question......What is God's first name? Forrest leaves to think the questions over. He returns the next day & sees St. Peter, who waves him up & says, "Now that you've had a chance to think the quesions over, tell me your answers." Forrest replied, "Well, the 1st one...which 2 days in the week begin w/ the letter "T"? Shucks, that one's easy....that would be today & tomorrow." The saint's eyes opened wide & he exclaimed, "Forrest, that is not what I was thinking, but you do have a point, & I guess I didn't specify, so I will give you credit for that answer." "How about the next one?" asked St. Peter "How many seconds in a year?" "Now that one is harder," replied Forrest, "but I thunk & thunk about that & I guess the only answer can be 12." Astounded, St. Peter said, "Twelve, 12....Forrest how in heaven's name could you come up w/ 12 seconds in a year?" Forrest replied, "Shucks, there's gotta be 12......Jan, 2nd, Feb. 2nd, Mar. 2nd, April 2nd, May 2nd, June 2nd, all the way to Dec. 2nd equals...." "Hold it," interrupts St. Peter, "I see where you are going w/ this, & I see your point, though that was not quite what I had in mind.....but I will have to give you credit for that one, too. Let us go on w/ the 3rd & final question...can you tell me God's 1st name?" "Sure," Forrest replied, "It's Andy!" "Andy?" exclaimed an exasperated & frustrated St. Peter. "O.K., I can understand how you came up w/ your answers to my 1st two questions.....but just how in the world did you come up w/ Andy as the 1st name of God?" "Shucks, that was the easiest one of all," Forrest replied, "I learnt it from the song, Andy walks with me Andy talks with me Andy tells me I am his own." St. Peter opened the pearly gates & said......"Run, Forrest, run!" |
21 August 2010, 05:05 AM | #2 |
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Smart man but dumb as a door knub!
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21 August 2010, 05:10 AM | #3 |
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21 August 2010, 05:29 AM | #4 |
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23 August 2010, 01:02 AM | #5 |
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23 August 2010, 01:43 AM | #6 |
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:thumbsu p:
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23 August 2010, 06:35 AM | #7 |
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23 August 2010, 07:20 AM | #8 |
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I heard the joke the same way with Gods name being Howard.
Our father, who aren't in heaven, Howard be thigh name. I like it both ways. |
23 August 2010, 12:40 PM | #9 |
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23 August 2010, 12:52 PM | #10 |
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Haha
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24 August 2010, 09:16 AM | #11 |
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Now this one I'll tell!!
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25 August 2010, 01:36 AM | #12 |
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Very good!!!
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