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Too Old · 17 October 2010, 07:42 PM

A woman brought a very limp duck into a veterinary surgeon. As she laid her pet on the table, the vet pulled out his stethoscope and listened to the bird's chest.

After a moment or two, the vet shook his head and sadly said, "I'm sorry, your duck, Cuddles, has passed away."

The distressed woman wailed, "Are you sure?"
"Yes, I am sure. Your duck is dead," replied the vet..

"How can you be so sure?" she protested. "I mean you haven't done any testing on him or anything. He might just be in a coma or something."

The vet rolled his eyes, turned around and left the room. He returned a few minutes later with a black Labrador Retriever. As the duck's owner looked on in amazement, the dog stood on his hind legs, put his front paws on the examination table and sniffed the duck from top to bottom. He then looked up at the vet with sad eyes and shook his head.

The vet patted the dog on the head and took it out of the room. A few minutes later he returned with a cat. The cat jumped on the table and also delicately sniffed the bird from head to foot. The cat sat back on its haunches, shook its head, meowed softly and strolled out of the room.

The vet looked at the woman and said, "I'm sorry, but as I said, this is most definitely, 100% certifiably, a dead duck."

The vet turned to his computer terminal, hit a few keys and produced a bill, which he handed to the woman.. The duck's owner, still in shock, took the bill. "$150!" she cried, "$150 just to tell me my duck is dead!" The vet shrugged, "I'm sorry. If you had just taken my word for it, the bill would have been $20, but with the Lab Report and the Cat Scan, it's now $150."

WatchNerd · 17 October 2010, 07:44 PM

That's such a poor joke, but I laughed anyway.

Art 1 · 17 October 2010, 10:01 PM

figbo · 18 October 2010, 01:23 AM

Dr. Robert · 18 October 2010, 02:00 AM

Hahaha

........excellent...how did you know what I do for a living & my techniques??

Numismatist · 18 October 2010, 04:27 AM

AJC · 18 October 2010, 02:35 PM

Groan

JJ Irani · 18 October 2010, 02:49 PM

johnbeth · 18 October 2010, 05:25 PM

Lion · 19 October 2010, 01:43 PM

Very good!!!

AstroBoy · 20 October 2010, 04:39 AM

LOL ! true meaning of Lab report and Cat Scan i think !

Rebel · 20 October 2010, 05:44 AM

17 October 2010, 07:42 PM	#1
Too Old 2024 SubLV41 Pledge Member Join Date: Apr 2010 Real Name: Brian Location: Bucks, UK Posts: 1,096	The vets A woman brought a very limp duck into a veterinary surgeon. As she laid her pet on the table, the vet pulled out his stethoscope and listened to the bird's chest. After a moment or two, the vet shook his head and sadly said, "I'm sorry, your duck, Cuddles, has passed away." The distressed woman wailed, "Are you sure?" "Yes, I am sure. Your duck is dead," replied the vet.. "How can you be so sure?" she protested. "I mean you haven't done any testing on him or anything. He might just be in a coma or something." The vet rolled his eyes, turned around and left the room. He returned a few minutes later with a black Labrador Retriever. As the duck's owner looked on in amazement, the dog stood on his hind legs, put his front paws on the examination table and sniffed the duck from top to bottom. He then looked up at the vet with sad eyes and shook his head. The vet patted the dog on the head and took it out of the room. A few minutes later he returned with a cat. The cat jumped on the table and also delicately sniffed the bird from head to foot. The cat sat back on its haunches, shook its head, meowed softly and strolled out of the room. The vet looked at the woman and said, "I'm sorry, but as I said, this is most definitely, 100% certifiably, a dead duck." The vet turned to his computer terminal, hit a few keys and produced a bill, which he handed to the woman.. The duck's owner, still in shock, took the bill. "$150!" she cried, "$150 just to tell me my duck is dead!" The vet shrugged, "I'm sorry. If you had just taken my word for it, the bill would have been $20, but with the Lab Report and the Cat Scan, it's now $150."

18 October 2010, 01:23 AM	#4
figbo "TRF" Member Join Date: Jan 2008 Real Name: El Raf-O Location: florida Watch: tt GMT2c,Omega Posts: 19,687	__________________ member # 9862 Best bartender in the world!! Last of the Bastid Tossers p club member #9

18 October 2010, 02:00 AM	#5
Dr. Robert 2024 SubLV41 Pledge Member Join Date: Dec 2009 Real Name: Bob Location: U.S.A. Watch: 1655 Posts: 64,120	Hahaha........excellent...how did you know what I do for a living & my techniques?? __________________ Founder & Card Carrying Member of the Global Association of Retro-Grouch-Curmudgeons

18 October 2010, 04:27 AM	#6
Numismatist "TRF" Member Join Date: Nov 2007 Real Name: Chris Location: Camden ME & STT Watch: 116600 Posts: 6,350	__________________ Rolex 116600 Sea-dweller Montblanc Solitaire Doué Black & White Legrand FP Montblanc Solitaire Doué Black & White RB Montblanc Meisterstück Diamond Mozart BP Montblanc Meisterstück Mozart BP

19 October 2010, 01:43 PM	#10
Lion "TRF" Member Join Date: Jan 2009 Real Name: Leo Location: Midwest Watch: GMT-II 16710 PEPSI Posts: 21,461	Very good!!! __________________ SS GMT-II 16710 PEPSI(Z-serial#) THE ONLY DIFFERENCE BETWEEN MEN AND BOYS IS THE PRICE OF THE TOYS!!! MontBlanc Meisterstuck Doue Silver Barley MontBlanc Meisterstuck Solitaire Doue Signum Proud Card Carrying Member of the Curmudgeons.....Yikes!!!

17 October 2010, 07:44 PM	#2
WatchNerd Member Join Date: Sep 2009 Location: Phoenix, AZ Watch: Planet Ocean 45mm Posts: 45	That's such a poor joke, but I laughed anyway.

17 October 2010, 10:01 PM	#3
Art 1 Banned Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: Florida, Canada Watch: Rol/Seik/Tud/Omega Posts: 30,244

18 October 2010, 02:35 PM	#7
AJC Member Join Date: Jul 2005 Location: Australia Posts: 1,878	Groan

18 October 2010, 02:49 PM	#8
JJ Irani Fondly Remembered Join Date: May 2005 Real Name: JJ Location: Auckland, NZ Watch: ALL SOLD!! Posts: 74,319

18 October 2010, 05:25 PM	#9
johnbeth "TRF" Member Join Date: Jul 2010 Real Name: John Location: Australia Watch: Depends on mood. Posts: 9,536

20 October 2010, 04:39 AM	#11
AstroBoy "TRF" Member Join Date: Feb 2009 Real Name: Lucky Location: Ohio USA Watch: TT-Tona/EXII/Tudor Posts: 696	LOL ! true meaning of Lab report and Cat Scan i think ! __________________ Astroboy "Life Is Not A Problem To Be Solved But A Reality To Be Experienced" "JJ - Your smile takes all my troubles away!"

20 October 2010, 05:44 AM	#12
Rebel "TRF" Member Join Date: Jul 2008 Real Name: Dr Mark R Nail Location: New Albany Watch: Tudor Sub 75090 Posts: 8,241	__________________ ------------------------------- Member of the Nylon Nation

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