Not politically correct!

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After sex last night my new girlfriend snuggled up to me and said "you know"....."you're by far the biggest i've ever had!".......apparently "ditto" is not the right response........

Cluedo has been ruined!!! in the spirit of political correctness, the makers have decided to introduce a new black character! - so now you know who's done it before the f***ing game even starts!

When i saw all those blacks rioting on tottenham high street i knew i had to find somewhere safe to hide, somewhere where they wouldn't go.......I'm ok......I'm in the job centre.......

Just seen a little 'hoody' running off with armfulls of chicken tikka massala.........think he got confused when his mate said they were robbing currys........

Riot's in Brighton last night, apparently the locals broke into shops, re-arranged the window displays and threw confetti at police........

Tottenham hotspur football club have just signed a new italian player........Grabatelli.....

The met police said they will introduce the use of water canons in london, with the addition of a little persil.....to stop the coloureds running........

Ngongo Mwambi has to travel 5 miles every day for fresh water, and 7 miles for food.........this is because the daft twat torched peckham spar and croydon KFC, so now has to walk to croydon for breakfast...........

I looked out at the destruction....smashed windows....overturned cars.....a bus on fire, people running and screaming, police scared and unsure what move to make......I turned to the wife and said "chin up darling, you did your best, but maybe i should park the car next time......"

In heaven george best turned to alex higgins and said "We'll be ok Alex, apparently there's a winehouse on it's way"......

Two irishmen were watching a rottweiler licking it's balls.....paddy say's to mick "I wish i could do that...."Mick repiles "I'd stroke him first......he looks a vicious bastard"........

Paddy's running his own pub, but business isn't good, he say's to his regular, Mick...."I'm thinking of selling up...."...Mick asks "well what are you gonna do paddy?"......"Oim thinking of using the money to start a brothel" replies paddy......."a brothel?....say's the astounded Mick...."if u cant make money out of running a pub, how the hell are you gonna do it selling Soup"........


Tony