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17 October 2012, 03:06 AM | #1 |
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Relationship Point System. Keep in your Wallet!
...In the world of romance, one single rule applies:
MAKE THE WOMAN HAPPY! Do something she likes, and you get points. Do something she dislikes, and points are subtracted. You don't get any points for doing something she expects. Sorry, that's the way the game is played. Here is a non-exhaustive guide to the point system: SIMPLE DUTIES You make the bed. (+1) You make the bed, but forget the decorative pillows. (-10) You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets. (-3) You go out to buy her what she wants (+5) in the rain (+8) But return with Beer. (-5) PROTECTIVE DUTIES You check out a suspicious noise at night. (+1) You check out a suspicious noise, and it is nothing. (0) You check out a suspicious noise, and it is something. (+5) You pummel it with an iron rod. (+10) It's her pet Schnauzer. (-20) SOCIAL ENGAGEMENTS You stay by her side for the entire party. (+1) You stay by her side for a while, then leave to chat with an old school friend. (-2) Named Tina (-10) Tina is a dancer. (-10) Tina has breast implants. (-40) HER BIRTHDAY You take her out to dinner. (+2) You take her out to dinner, and it's not a sports bar. (+3) Okay, it's a sports bar. (-2) And its all-you-can-eat night. (-3) It's a sports bar, it's all-you-can-eat night, and your face is painted the colors of your favorite team. (-10) A NIGHT OUT You take her to a movie. (+1) You take her to a movie she likes. (+5) You take her to a movie you hate. (+6) You take her to a movie you like. (-2) It's called 'Death Cop.' (-3) You lied and said it was a foreign film about orphans. (-15) YOUR PHYSIQUE You develop a noticeable potbelly. (-15) You develop a noticeable potbelly and exercise to get rid of it. (+10) You develop a noticeable potbelly and resort to baggy jeans and baggy Hawaiian shirts. (-30) You say, "It doesn't matter, you have one too." (-80) THE BIG QUESTION She asks, "Do I look fat?" (-5) (Yes, you lose points no matter what) You hesitate in responding. (-10) You reply, "Where?" (-35) You give any other response. (-20) COMMUNICATION When she wants to talk about a problem, you listen, displaying what looks like a concerned expression. (+2) You listen, for over 30 minutes (+50) You listen for more than 30 minutes without looking at the TV. (+500) She realizes this is because you have fallen asleep. (-4000)
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meteor flying to Earth onto my wrist... 116509 Daytona Meteorite, 116520 Daytona Black, 116710 GMTIIC, 16013 DATEJUST, CARTIER SANTOS 100 W20090X8, IWC Big Pilot, IWC Top Gun "Everything works out in the end. If it hasn't worked out, it's not the end." |
17 October 2012, 07:10 AM | #2 |
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This is excellent, let's make it a sticky!
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Mon corps c'est un pays en guerre sur l'point d'finir, Le général de l'armée de terre s'attend au pire, J'ai faim, j'ai frette, je suis trop faible pour me lever debout, On va hisser le drapeau blanc un point c'est tout. - André Fortin |
17 October 2012, 08:04 AM | #3 |
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Haha! That is marriage to a "T"!!!
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17 October 2012, 08:39 AM | #4 |
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So true!
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17 October 2012, 08:46 AM | #5 |
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Words of wisdom.
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17 October 2012, 08:59 AM | #6 |
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19 October 2012, 04:09 AM | #7 |
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Wow this one's harsh! "She realizes this is because you have fallen asleep. (-4000)"
I mean -4000??? I lost all my points just because I have fallen asleep! |
21 October 2012, 11:25 PM | #8 |
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Does anyone really know what time it is? |
22 October 2012, 02:33 AM | #9 |
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