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ROLEX MAN · 21 May 2008, 12:32 PM

This is an actual job application that a 75 year old senior citizen submitted to Wal-mart in Arkansas
They hired him because he was so funny.....

NAME: Kenneth Way (Grumpy Old Bastard)

SEX: Not lately, but I am looking for the right woman (or at least one who will cooperate)

DESIRED POSITION: Company's President or Vice President. But seriously,
whatever's available.. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn't be applying here in the first place

DESIRED SALARY: $185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz
style severance package. If that's not possible, make an offer and we can haggle.

EDUCATION: Yes.

LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle management hostility.

PREVIOUS SALARY: A lot less than I'm worth.

MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My incredible collection of stolen pens and post-it notes.

REASON FOR LEAVING: It sucked.

HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK: Any.

PREFERRED HOURS: 1:30-3:30 p.m. Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday.

DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS?: Yes, but they're better suited to a more intimate environment .

MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER?: If I had one, would I be here?

DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU FROM LIFTING UP
TO 50 lbs.?: Of what?

DO YOU HAVE A CAR?: I think the more appropriate question here would be 'Do you have a car that runs?'

HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITION?: I may already be a
winner of the Publishers Clearing House Sweepstakes, so they tell me.

DO YOU SMOKE?: On the job - no! On my breaks - yes!

WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS?: Living in the Bahamas with a
fabulously wealthy dumb sexy blonde supermodel who thinks I'm the greatest
thing since sliced bread. Actually, I'd like to be doing that now.

NEAREST RELATIVE: 7 miles

DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF YOUR
KNOWLEDGE?: Oh yes, absolutely.

Ashley · 21 May 2008, 12:44 PM

That's awesome. I work as a "partner" with Walmart, and I often go to them to look through their application forms/resumes that were submitted.
I think the even funnier applications are the ones made by twelve year olds. If I was allowed to, I would totally photocopy them and post them here. HILARIOUS!

Incurable · 21 May 2008, 12:51 PM

Hey... that guy plagiarized my resume :

JJ Irani · 21 May 2008, 05:10 PM

Bloody genius!! Give that guy the President's chair!!

limbo · 21 May 2008, 05:18 PM

Aqua fobic · 21 May 2008, 08:03 PM

Looks like a very normal CV to me

topcat30093 · 21 May 2008, 08:29 PM

I wonder if the gent got the job.

jasonbellevue · 22 May 2008, 05:09 PM

TDH · 23 May 2008, 03:45 PM

me...I'm already in the Bahamas!

21 May 2008, 12:32 PM	#1
ROLEX MAN 2024 SubLV41 Pledge Member Join Date: Jan 2008 Real Name: Martin Location: Home and Away Watch: you? "YES PLEASE"! Posts: 3,718	Job Application of a 75 year old! This is an actual job application that a 75 year old senior citizen submitted to Wal-mart in Arkansas They hired him because he was so funny..... NAME: Kenneth Way (Grumpy Old Bastard) SEX: Not lately, but I am looking for the right woman (or at least one who will cooperate) DESIRED POSITION: Company's President or Vice President. But seriously, whatever's available.. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn't be applying here in the first place DESIRED SALARY: $185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz style severance package. If that's not possible, make an offer and we can haggle. EDUCATION: Yes. LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle management hostility. PREVIOUS SALARY: A lot less than I'm worth. MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My incredible collection of stolen pens and post-it notes. REASON FOR LEAVING: It sucked. HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK: Any. PREFERRED HOURS: 1:30-3:30 p.m. Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday. DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS?: Yes, but they're better suited to a more intimate environment . MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER?: If I had one, would I be here? DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU FROM LIFTING UP TO 50 lbs.?: Of what? DO YOU HAVE A CAR?: I think the more appropriate question here would be 'Do you have a car that runs?' HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITION?: I may already be a winner of the Publishers Clearing House Sweepstakes, so they tell me. DO YOU SMOKE?: On the job - no! On my breaks - yes! WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS?: Living in the Bahamas with a fabulously wealthy dumb sexy blonde supermodel who thinks I'm the greatest thing since sliced bread. Actually, I'd like to be doing that now. NEAREST RELATIVE: 7 miles DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF YOUR KNOWLEDGE?: Oh yes, absolutely. __________________ *it's not just about telling the time...* *happy rolexing...* I'm just a man with a passion

21 May 2008, 12:51 PM	#3
Incurable "TRF" Member Join Date: Jan 2007 Real Name: Pat Location: PNW Watch: your P's and Q's Posts: 2,549	Hey... that guy plagiarized my resume : __________________ Rolex GMT Master II 16710 (Blk/Blk) Rolex Explorer 114270 Sinn 356 Sa Flieger Limes Endurance 1Tausend Too many others... #2592 It may seem like I'm doing nothing but, at a cellular level, I'm actually quite busy...

21 May 2008, 05:10 PM	#4
JJ Irani Fondly Remembered Join Date: May 2005 Real Name: JJ Location: Auckland, NZ Watch: ALL SOLD!! Posts: 74,319	Bloody genius!! Give that guy the President's chair!! __________________ Words fail me in expressing my utmost thanks to ALL of you for this wonderful support during my hour of need!! I firmly believe that my time on planet earth is NOT yet up!! I shall fight this to the very end.......and WIN!!

21 May 2008, 08:29 PM	#7
topcat30093 "TRF" Member Join Date: Jan 2008 Real Name: Tony Location: England Posts: 5,459	I wonder if the gent got the job. __________________

22 May 2008, 05:09 PM	#8
jasonbellevue "TRF" Member Join Date: Mar 2007 Real Name: Jason Location: at home Posts: 5,098	__________________

21 May 2008, 12:44 PM	#2
Ashley "TRF" Member Join Date: Jan 2007 Real Name: Ashley Location: Calgary Posts: 6,967	That's awesome. I work as a "partner" with Walmart, and I often go to them to look through their application forms/resumes that were submitted. I think the even funnier applications are the ones made by twelve year olds. If I was allowed to, I would totally photocopy them and post them here. HILARIOUS!

21 May 2008, 05:18 PM	#5
limbo "TRF" Member Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: Sydney Posts: 4,624

21 May 2008, 08:03 PM	#6
Aqua fobic Member Join Date: Apr 2008 Real Name: Mark Location: UK now and again Watch: Seadweller Posts: 127	Looks like a very normal CV to me

23 May 2008, 03:45 PM	#9
TDH "TRF" Member Join Date: May 2007 Real Name: Jay Location: Here n there Watch: Sub Posts: 1,641	me...I'm already in the Bahamas!

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