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Old 12 April 2016, 12:15 PM   #1
Ruud Van Driver
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Applied Mathematics (work/child safe)

LONGEVITY
Married men live longer than single men, but
married men are a lot more willing to die.

MEMORY
Any married man should forget his mistakes, there's no use in two people remembering the same thing.

APPEARANCE
Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
Women somehow deteriorate during the night.

PROPENSITY TO CHANGE
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.

DISCUSSION TECHNIQUE
A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

COMPREHENSION
There are 2 times when a man doesn't understand a woman - before marriage and after marriage.

HOW TO STOP PEOPLE FROM BUGGING YOU ABOUT GETTING MARRIED:
Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and cackling, telling me, "You're next."

They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.
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Old 12 April 2016, 12:55 PM   #2
Hairdude1
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Old 14 April 2016, 01:26 AM   #3
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Old 14 April 2016, 06:12 AM   #4
Al1969
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Great post. Hilarious
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Old 14 April 2016, 10:30 AM   #5
BBL
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Old 16 April 2016, 10:57 PM   #6
Hamish
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Funny....I love your jokes
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Old 17 April 2016, 07:41 PM   #7
swatty
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Old 17 April 2016, 09:26 PM   #8
cop414
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Late to the party but good one Paul!
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Old 17 April 2016, 10:00 PM   #9
1William
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I like it.
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Old 18 April 2016, 11:24 AM   #10
Contused
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Good one
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Old 13 May 2016, 02:26 PM   #11
Bisquitlips
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Old 4 June 2016, 03:49 PM   #12
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