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17 June 2006, 03:06 AM | #1 |
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When Football Was Football.
(FOOTBALL = SOCCER FOR THOSE ACCROSS THE POND)
I'm feeling all angry about these modern day footballers and I know why they have gone all soft. It's because of there Pansy names, that's what it is. Remember the old days when football players kicked a fo#king ball made out of ten pounds of clay stitched inside a steel reinforced leather shell with laces made out of piano wire? Well, in them days, players could only survive the rigours of the game because they were called things like Albert, Arthur, Bert, Harry, Bill, Eddie, Bob, Jack and Tommy. Bloody tough names for tough men them was. And what do we have now? Gareth, Jason, Wayne, Dean, Ryan, Jamie, Robbie.and Beckham fook#ng tarts names they are. Great big bleeding poofs. No wonder, the ball's like a bleeding balloon, and shin pads are like slices of bread. In the old days you never saw a Len Shackleton or Billy Wright with a poofy little Sondico piece of paper down his little thin socks. bloody shin pads in them days was made out of library books and socks was like sackcloth. Same with jerseys. Fooking shirts with holes in 'em now so they can breathe. Yes and so Jamie's hairless chest can breathe and he doesn't get a chill. Fook off Stanley Matthews used to dribble round Europe's finest wearing a fooking bell-tent and shorts, cobbled together from the jacket of his demob suit. Aye he bloody did.good on you Stanley. . No wonder now players fall over whenever an opponent comes near them. And they never used to show their ars#s at one another either. Can you imagine what might have happened if Don Revie had flashed his ars# at Nat Lofthouse during a City-Bolton Wanderers game? He'd have got one of them size 13 hobnail fookers right up his bum ol#. Now they get fooki#g therapy for stress my arse! Stan Colleymore slaps his missus about and he takes three seasons off with stress counselling. What is that all about? In the old days, it was expected for footballers to belt the old Mrs about a bit, especially after a bad defeat. And the old women used to expect it and so they should have, they was lucky to be married to real men footballers. Ernie McShite of Port Vale got run over with a horse and cart one Friday night, and still he turned out against Bradford the next day. And he scored two goals. That's cos he didn't have a poof name, good old Ernie. It is said he broke his hip, both legs, murdered his wife and buried her under the patio, and still made the England team for the home internationals. Did he have any stress counselling? Did he b#ll#x! And drugs? And drugs? there was none of that in the old days. Oh no. In them days it was a quick shot of morphine before the kick off and you was lucky if you got that. By half time it had all but wore off so they pumped you full of Laudanum. None of this cocaine sniffing and shooting up class A narcotics. Goal celebrations? Don't talk to me about goal celebrations. Crawling on the floor and thrusting their hips at the crowd. Huh, I'd have liked to have seen Cliff Bastin do that after a run down the left flank and crossing for Alex James to fire home a winner. Handshakes, that was all you got. That and a w@nk in the showers afterwards. But it was a proper w@nk,all man stuff. None of these poofy w@nks between blokes that you get nowadays with players like Graeme Le Saux and Stephen Gerrard. Allegedly, It was just a harmless bit of spanking the plank among healthy young sportsmen. Sixty grand plus a fooking week! Ha! I wouldn't pay the tossers tuppence. Two bob 10p is what Tommy Lawton used to get.a month! And Tom Finney still worked as a plumber four days a week when he was playing for England. It’s true you know,Players had to work in them days just to make up their money. Not like today,everything handed on a plate,and think they are above the law. . Stan Pearson had to clean sewers and doubled up as the Old Trafford sh!thouse cleaner. He had to go off during one game because a toilet jam had built up and blocked the "U" bend. And that Eddie Hapgood, he was a male model, though he never liked to talk about it. So I say we start calling kids real male names again. If you're having a kid don't even consider a poofy name like what people call their kids these days. Otherwise, what are we gonna get in twenty years time?The England team full of players called Mary, Ronan, Keanu, Ashley and fooki#g Chesney. Fook that, call your kids Herbert, Len, Fred and Wilf and let’s get the overpaid poofs out of the game once and for all!" boy I hate bloody football. (Bachgen gasâ beldroed)
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17 June 2006, 03:21 AM | #2 |
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LOL
I think the "tough footballers" end up coming to America and play in the NFL
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Something witty to go here. Member # 293 |
17 June 2006, 03:37 AM | #3 |
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Come to think of it FIFA, is kind of a whimpy name for an organization also.
Reminds me of a French Poodle
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Something witty to go here. Member # 293 |
17 June 2006, 03:43 AM | #4 | |
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Touch football is indeed played in the US, I agree on that I'm surprised those 'tough men' can even walk, wearing all that protective gear!
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17 June 2006, 04:07 AM | #5 | |
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Your fellas just managed to pip the Ivory Coast 2-1. Just finished watching the match live. Excellent game from both sides although, in all fairness to the Ivory Coast team, they deserved to draw rather than lose. The two Dutch goals in the first half were real crackers followed by a superb solo effort from Kone of the Ivory Coast. Great game!!
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17 June 2006, 04:15 AM | #6 | |
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