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astcell · 17 September 2008, 02:40 AM

I swear this sounds like my Dad.

----

The TRUE ending to "the Empire Strikes Back":
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
A furious lightsaber duel is underway. DARTH VADER is backing LUKE SKYWALKER towards the end of the gantry. A quick move by Vader, chops off Luke's hand! It goes spinning off into the ventilation shaft. Luke backs away. He looks around, but realizes there's nowhere to go but straight down.

Darth Vader: Obi Wan never told you what happened to your father.

Luke: He told me enough! He told me you killed him!

Darth Vader: No... I am your father!

Luke: No, it's not true! It's impossible.

Darth Vader: Search your feelings... you know it to be true...

Luke: NO!

Darth Vader: Yes, it is true.. and you know what else? You know that brass droid of yours?

Luke: Threepio?

Darth Vader: Yes... Threepio... I built him... when I was 7 years old...

Luke: No...

Darth Vader: Seven years old? And what have you done? Look at yourself, no hand, no job, and couldn't even levitate your own ship out of the swamp...

Luke: I destroyed your precious Death Star!

Darth Vader: When you were 20! When I was 10, I single-handedly destroyed a Trade Federation Droid Control ship!

Luke: Well, it's not my fault...

Darth Vader: Oh, here we go... "Poor me... my father never gave me what I wanted for my birthday... boo hoo, my daddy's the Dark Lord of the Sith... waahhh wahhh!"

Luke: Shut up...

Darth Vader: You're a slacker! By the time I was you're age, I had exterminated the Jedi knights!

Luke: I used to race my T-16 through Beggar's Canyon!

Darth Vader: Oh, for the love of the Emperor... 10 years old, winner of the Boonta Eve Open... Only human to ever fly a Pod Racer... right here baby!

Luke looks down the shaft. Takes a step towards it.

Darth Vader: I was wrong... You're not my kid... I don't know whose you are, but you sure ain't mine...

Luke takes a step off the platform, hesitates, then plunges down the shaft.

Darth Vader looks after him.

Darth Vader: Get a haircut!

seantk · 17 September 2008, 02:54 AM

Luke always seemed like a wuss and a whiner

Sean

limbo · 17 September 2008, 06:36 AM

Timber Loftis · 18 September 2008, 01:56 AM

Did you ever wonder why Vader didn't just levitate his ass when he tried to jump?

Jimbits76 · 18 September 2008, 04:33 AM

Funny

J

Bisquitlips · 19 January 2009, 07:00 AM

17 September 2008, 02:40 AM	#1
astcell "TRF" Member Join Date: Aug 2006 Real Name: Robert Location: Angelus Oaks, CA Watch: 116713 Posts: 6,828	Empire Strikes Bak, real ending. I swear this sounds like my Dad. ---- The TRUE ending to "the Empire Strikes Back": ------------------------------------------------------------------------- A furious lightsaber duel is underway. DARTH VADER is backing LUKE SKYWALKER towards the end of the gantry. A quick move by Vader, chops off Luke's hand! It goes spinning off into the ventilation shaft. Luke backs away. He looks around, but realizes there's nowhere to go but straight down. Darth Vader: Obi Wan never told you what happened to your father. Luke: He told me enough! He told me you killed him! Darth Vader: No... I am your father! Luke: No, it's not true! It's impossible. Darth Vader: Search your feelings... you know it to be true... Luke: NO! Darth Vader: Yes, it is true.. and you know what else? You know that brass droid of yours? Luke: Threepio? Darth Vader: Yes... Threepio... I built him... when I was 7 years old... Luke: No... Darth Vader: Seven years old? And what have you done? Look at yourself, no hand, no job, and couldn't even levitate your own ship out of the swamp... Luke: I destroyed your precious Death Star! Darth Vader: When you were 20! When I was 10, I single-handedly destroyed a Trade Federation Droid Control ship! Luke: Well, it's not my fault... Darth Vader: Oh, here we go... "Poor me... my father never gave me what I wanted for my birthday... boo hoo, my daddy's the Dark Lord of the Sith... waahhh wahhh!" Luke: Shut up... Darth Vader: You're a slacker! By the time I was you're age, I had exterminated the Jedi knights! Luke: I used to race my T-16 through Beggar's Canyon! Darth Vader: Oh, for the love of the Emperor... 10 years old, winner of the Boonta Eve Open... Only human to ever fly a Pod Racer... right here baby! Luke looks down the shaft. Takes a step towards it. Darth Vader: I was wrong... You're not my kid... I don't know whose you are, but you sure ain't mine... Luke takes a step off the platform, hesitates, then plunges down the shaft. Darth Vader looks after him. Darth Vader: Get a haircut! __________________ SS GMTII "D", TT GMTIIc "Z"

17 September 2008, 02:54 AM	#2
seantk "TRF" Member Join Date: Dec 2007 Real Name: Sean Location: West Florida Posts: 2,671	Luke always seemed like a wuss and a whiner Sean __________________ "Life is frittered away with detail... simplify, simplify!" Henry D. Thoreau

19 January 2009, 07:00 AM	#6
Bisquitlips 2024 Pledge Member Join Date: Sep 2008 Real Name: Richard Location: USA Watch: YM Deep Space Posts: 12,521	__________________ Rolex Yacht-Master 40mm (SS-YG / Deep Space MOP) 16623 Breitling Aerospace Titanium / 18K with UTC. Omega Speedmaster 3510.50 Oris TT1 Pro Diver Regulator 43MM

17 September 2008, 06:36 AM	#3
limbo "TRF" Member Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: Sydney Posts: 4,624

18 September 2008, 01:56 AM	#4
Timber Loftis "TRF" Member Join Date: Nov 2007 Real Name: Jon Location: Chicago Watch: IIc,DJII,P244,A1-Z Posts: 2,857	Did you ever wonder why Vader didn't just levitate his ass when he tried to jump?

18 September 2008, 04:33 AM	#5
Jimbits76 "TRF" Member Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: UK Posts: 9,407	Funny J

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