True story.

[padi56]

When I was 18, I made the Welsh Under 19s side to play the South African under 19s side as the curtain-raiser for the Welsh vs South Africa Springboks match at the Arms park.

That reminds me...

The other day I was at my local pub just having a few quiet beers by myself.

The door of the pub opened & in walked the most stunning woman I've ever laid eyes on. 5'9" tall, stunning blue eyes & bee-stung lips framed by silky blond hair, an hourglass figure barely covered by hot-pants and a flimsy cotton top. As far as I could tell, she wore no bra nor needed one.

After watching her walk in & silently cursing myself for hitting every branch when I fell out of the ugly tree, I turned back to my beer. No sooner have I taken a sip but movement catches my eye & I turn to see her pulling another bar stool up close to me & sitting down.

She said hi, I managed to stammer out a reply. She asked how I was going while taking my hand & placing it on her perfect inner thigh, rubbing it up & down.

"So, do you feel good," she asked.

"*cough* *choke* Erm, yeah," I replied, staring unbelievably at where my hand was.

"I'll bet you feel good," she continued. "In fact, I'll bet you've never felt this good before."

"Well, I have," I corrected her. "You see, when I was 18 I made the Welsh Under 19s side to play the South African under 19s side as the curtain-raiser for the Welsh vs South Africa Springboks match at Cardiff. Running out in front of at that stage 65,000 rugby-mad Welsh and South African fans? Yeah, I have felt this good."

I immediately bit my tongue for saying this & figured I'd blown whatever slim chance I had with her. She took my hand off her thigh & put it up the front of her top. Her nipple pushed into my palm as she massaged my hand into her pert, perfect breast.


"How do you feel now," she purred.

"Great," I replied enthusiastically.

Again, she said, "I'll bet you do. In fact, I'll bet you've never felt THIS good before!"

"Well, I have," I again replied. "In that game, we were down by six points with about 10 seconds left in the match. The South Africans kicked the ball deep into our half of the field, where I caught it. I ran upfield, side-stepping past the first few South African defenders, palmed off a couple of would-be tacklers, burst through a few forward, chipped over their fullback, regathered & scored under the posts as the full-time siren went. We were still behind by one point, but I had the easiest of goal-kicks left with which to win the match - I could have thrown it over I was that close. As I walked out to take the kick in front of what had grown to about 50,000 fans, savouring the moment, I felt 20 feet tall. So yeah, I have definitely felt this good."

She got a bit miffed at this and pulled my hand from under her top, then thrust it down the front of her pants. My fingers immediately met what felt like a papercut framed by a wisp of cotton candy, and she was wet.

She snapped, "Well tell me this, smartars#: Have you ever felt such a c#nt?"

"Yes," I answered, "I missed the bleeding kick."

[JJ Irani]

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