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TheVTCGuy · 23 December 2009, 09:48 AM

The following conversation was overheard at a recent GTG between Paul (TheVTCGuy) and Leo (Idle Swede).

Paul: You know, my sex life with my wife is so bad, half the time she screams out her ex-boyfriends name... the other half she makes ME scream it out...

Leo: Oh, you're lucky, my wife is so in to herself she screams out her OWN name....

Paul: My wife and I decided to try and live a healthier lifestyle, so we agreed to only smoke after sex.... I've been on the same pack since 1975....

Leo: My wife and I have the same agreement... what bothers me is I've quit completely but she's up to three packs a day...

Paul: I know my wife is having an affair... whenever I come home the Parrot yells: "Quick, out the window!"

Leo: My wife and I decided we can only have sex with the lights off, if they're on, as soon as we're naked we can't stop laughing.

Paul: At least you HAVE a sex life, the only sex I have is when My Doctor tells me to cough.

Leo: My wife told me she wanted to try something new to spruce up our sex life, so she tied me to the bed. Then she put her clothes on and went out for the evening.

Paul: My wife had some kind of reputation let me tell you, she was known as FEDEX. Whenever she went to a guys place she ABSOLUTLEY POSITIVELY HAD TO BE THERE OVERNIGHT.

Leo: My wife was the same way! When she was young, she couldn't pass her drivers test... couldn't get used to the front seat.

Paul: My wife used to be pretty ugly too... I took her to the beach one day and they asked me what I used for bait.

Leo: My wife used to be pretty fat! She was standing by herself and a cop came along and told her to break it up...

Paul: My wife was the same way!!! When she wore heels she used to strike Oil...

Leo: My wife was so fat when I took her to the Macy's Day Parade they put ropes around her..

Paul: You know Leo, I wonder if our problems stem from our fathers... My father was workaholic..... you mention work he got drunk.

Leo: Funny you should mention alcohol, I just joined Alcohol Anonymous... I still drink just use a different name.

Paul: Oh, were you having troubles with your drinking?

Leo: Let's put it this way, I gave my Doctor a Urine sample.. there was an olive in it....

Who knows what will be overheard and the next GTG...

Latrodectus · 23 December 2009, 09:56 AM

Hilarious!

1000ftSub · 23 December 2009, 09:57 AM

JJ Irani · 23 December 2009, 10:22 AM

This definitely needs to go under the Jokes & Cartoons section!!

Taffi Abernathy · 23 December 2009, 10:35 AM

OMG!!!

There are openings in the "Borscht Belt" for comedians since Henny Youngman died and Rickles is too old to make the trip. May I suggest you consider applying?

Prince · 23 December 2009, 10:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JJ Irani

This definitely needs to go under the Jokes & Cartoons section!!

And indeed, it has!

Ashley · 23 December 2009, 10:54 AM

sleddog · 23 December 2009, 10:58 AM

snow_rocks · 23 December 2009, 12:13 PM

Paul, I wish you broke this little ditty

down in several posts, as my short attention

span would only carry me so far in the read,

and having to return to read the remainder

I forgot where I left off. Sorry for being a pain.

sakuraba · 23 December 2009, 12:15 PM

I didn't expect humor from you, Paul. Must be the diet.

dukester · 23 December 2009, 12:36 PM

HIlarious!!

Idle Swede · 23 December 2009, 02:28 PM

.

Paul,

Have you totally lost your marbles telling everybody?

This is the last time I share me and my wifes sexlife with you.

2careless · 23 December 2009, 02:46 PM

Paul, I thought you're single... that explains it.

pz93c · 24 December 2009, 03:22 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 2careless

Paul, I thought you're single... that explains it.

Yeah. If you were married, you'd have more sympathy.

xbox · 23 December 2009, 03:34 PM

DanP · 23 December 2009, 04:56 PM

limbo · 23 December 2009, 05:31 PM

swatty · 23 December 2009, 06:42 PM

Very good Paul

AWATCH · 23 December 2009, 07:58 PM

Hilarious

Iron Dealer 1 · 24 December 2009, 01:28 AM

Now that was funny!

idk01 · 4 January 2010, 02:43 PM

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA

23 December 2009, 09:48 AM	#1
TheVTCGuy Banned Join Date: Jul 2008 Real Name: Paul Location: San Diego Watch: 126619LB Posts: 21,540	Paul and Leo Lament about their sex lives.. The following conversation was overheard at a recent GTG between Paul (TheVTCGuy) and Leo (Idle Swede). Paul: You know, my sex life with my wife is so bad, half the time she screams out her ex-boyfriends name... the other half she makes ME scream it out... Leo: Oh, you're lucky, my wife is so in to herself she screams out her OWN name.... Paul: My wife and I decided to try and live a healthier lifestyle, so we agreed to only smoke after sex.... I've been on the same pack since 1975.... Leo: My wife and I have the same agreement... what bothers me is I've quit completely but she's up to three packs a day... Paul: I know my wife is having an affair... whenever I come home the Parrot yells: "Quick, out the window!" Leo: My wife and I decided we can only have sex with the lights off, if they're on, as soon as we're naked we can't stop laughing. Paul: At least you HAVE a sex life, the only sex I have is when My Doctor tells me to cough. Leo: My wife told me she wanted to try something new to spruce up our sex life, so she tied me to the bed. Then she put her clothes on and went out for the evening. Paul: My wife had some kind of reputation let me tell you, she was known as FEDEX. Whenever she went to a guys place she ABSOLUTLEY POSITIVELY HAD TO BE THERE OVERNIGHT. Leo: My wife was the same way! When she was young, she couldn't pass her drivers test... couldn't get used to the front seat. Paul: My wife used to be pretty ugly too... I took her to the beach one day and they asked me what I used for bait. Leo: My wife used to be pretty fat! She was standing by herself and a cop came along and told her to break it up... Paul: My wife was the same way!!! When she wore heels she used to strike Oil... Leo: My wife was so fat when I took her to the Macy's Day Parade they put ropes around her.. Paul: You know Leo, I wonder if our problems stem from our fathers... My father was workaholic..... you mention work he got drunk. Leo: Funny you should mention alcohol, I just joined Alcohol Anonymous... I still drink just use a different name. Paul: Oh, were you having troubles with your drinking? Leo: Let's put it this way, I gave my Doctor a Urine sample.. there was an olive in it.... Who knows what will be overheard and the next GTG...

23 December 2009, 09:56 AM	#2
Latrodectus 2024 SubLV41 Pledge Member Join Date: Sep 2008 Real Name: Fred Location: KY, USA Watch: GMT-Master II Posts: 10,042	Hilarious! __________________ Member # 16057 4-Hands Club Tosser Club Member TRF Skypers Group

23 December 2009, 10:22 AM	#4
JJ Irani Fondly Remembered Join Date: May 2005 Real Name: JJ Location: Auckland, NZ Watch: ALL SOLD!! Posts: 74,319	This definitely needs to go under the Jokes & Cartoons section!! __________________ Words fail me in expressing my utmost thanks to ALL of you for this wonderful support during my hour of need!! I firmly believe that my time on planet earth is NOT yet up!! I shall fight this to the very end.......and WIN!!

23 December 2009, 10:35 AM	#5
Taffi Abernathy "TRF" Member Join Date: Jul 2008 Real Name: Faith Location: Philadelphia, PA Watch: TT DJ, SS DJ Posts: 4,053	OMG!!! There are openings in the "Borscht Belt" for comedians since Henny Youngman died and Rickles is too old to make the trip. May I suggest you consider applying? __________________ Sarcasm is my second language.

23 December 2009, 10:58 AM	#8
sleddog TRF Moderator & 2024 SubLV41 Patron Join Date: Jul 2007 Real Name: Rob Location: Nearby. Posts: 24,931	__________________ He who wears a Rolex is always on time, even when late!! TRF's "After Dark" Bar & Nightclub Patron-Founding Member..

23 December 2009, 09:57 AM	#3
1000ftSub "TRF" Member Join Date: Jul 2009 Real Name: Mike Location: Orlando Posts: 2,471

23 December 2009, 10:54 AM	#7
Ashley "TRF" Member Join Date: Jan 2007 Real Name: Ashley Location: Calgary Posts: 6,967

23 December 2009, 12:13 PM	#9
snow_rocks Banned Join Date: Feb 2009 Real Name: Rick Location: At what TIME?!!! Watch: the SKY tonite! Posts: 3,225	Paul, I wish you broke this little ditty down in several posts, as my short attention span would only carry me so far in the read, and having to return to read the remainder I forgot where I left off. Sorry for being a pain.

23 December 2009, 12:15 PM	#10
sakuraba "TRF" Member Join Date: May 2009 Real Name: Jib Location: SJ, California Watch: sun dial Posts: 8,189	I didn't expect humor from you, Paul. Must be the diet.

23 December 2009, 12:36 PM	#11
dukester "TRF" Member Join Date: Oct 2008 Real Name: Nick Location: Los Angeles Watch: 2 SS Daytonas(W&B) Posts: 542	HIlarious!!

23 December 2009, 02:28 PM	#12
Idle Swede Suspended Join Date: Oct 2008 Real Name: Leo Location: Boca Raton Posts: 13,820	. Paul, Have you totally lost your marbles telling everybody? This is the last time I share me and my wifes sexlife with you.

23 December 2009, 02:46 PM	#13
2careless "TRF" Member Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: Melbourne, AU Watch: Pepsi Posts: 4,370	Paul, I thought you're single... that explains it.

23 December 2009, 03:34 PM	#15
xbox "TRF" Member Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: Beach in the Med Watch: Hunting ... Posts: 1,148

23 December 2009, 04:56 PM	#16
DanP Banned Join Date: Apr 2008 Real Name: Dan P Location: Vancouver. Canada Watch: GV-U-Kno-Me :) Posts: 2,436

23 December 2009, 05:31 PM	#17
limbo "TRF" Member Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: Sydney Posts: 4,624

23 December 2009, 06:42 PM	#18
swatty 2024 SubLV41 Pledge Member Join Date: Dec 2007 Real Name: Peter Location: Sydney Watch: The Game Posts: 17,415	Very good Paul

23 December 2009, 07:58 PM	#19
AWATCH "TRF" Member Join Date: Jul 2009 Real Name: al Location: GEORGIA Watch: Explorer II Posts: 1,759	Hilarious __________________ Al

24 December 2009, 01:28 AM	#20
Iron Dealer 1 "TRF" Member Join Date: Nov 2008 Location: Red Bank Watch: 1977 M1680 SSSD Posts: 353	Now that was funny! __________________ IRON DEALER 1 M16613 TT BLK SUB , M1680 SS SUB M1675 TT BLK GMT GO ARMY! BEAT NAVY!

4 January 2010, 02:43 PM	#21
idk01 "TRF" Member Join Date: Jan 2009 Real Name: Dave Location: Australia Watch: DJ16233TT Posts: 18,485	BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA __________________ *Apprentice to Terry Newton; Superstar and Fake Sleuth*

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