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Safetrends · 13 May 2010, 03:18 PM

Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by US Air Force pilots and the replies from the maintenance crews.

(P)= PROBLEM (S)=SOLUTION

(P) Test flight OK, except autoland very rough. (S) Autoland not installed on this aircraft.
(P) Evidence of leak on right main landing gear. (S) Evidence removed.
(P) DME volume unbelievably loud. (S) Volume set to more believable level.
(P) Dead bugs on windshield. (S) Live bugs on order.
(P) Autopilot in altitude hold mode produces a 200 fpm descent. (S) Cannot reproduce problem on the ground.
(P) IFF inoperative. (S) IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.
(P) Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick. (S) That's what they are there for.
(P) Number three engine missing. (S) Engine found on right wing after brief search.
(P) Aircraft handles FUNNY. (S) Aircraft warned to straighten up, "fly right" and be serious.
(P) Target radar hums. (S) Reprogrammed Target Radar with the words.

Nicko · 13 May 2010, 04:01 PM

Excellent!

TheDeuce · 13 May 2010, 04:19 PM

LOL - although I only get a bunch of 'em from my private pilot training...

Lion · 13 May 2010, 11:17 PM

Very good!!!

2th Dr · 14 May 2010, 03:31 AM

THAT was funny!

Prince · 14 May 2010, 03:33 AM

And my personal favorite:
(P) Number three engine missing. (S) Engine found on right wing after brief search.

Mockingbird · 14 May 2010, 01:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Prince

And my personal favorite:
(P) Number three engine missing. (S) Engine found on right wing after brief search.

My fave as well!

chrislkb · 16 May 2010, 04:27 PM

=) =d =p

13 May 2010, 03:18 PM	#1
Safetrends Banned Join Date: Oct 2009 Real Name: David Walz Location: San Diego CA USA Watch: my hand. :) Posts: 9,156	Maintenance complaints: Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by US Air Force pilots and the replies from the maintenance crews. (P)= PROBLEM (S)=SOLUTION (P) Test flight OK, except autoland very rough. (S) Autoland not installed on this aircraft. (P) Evidence of leak on right main landing gear. (S) Evidence removed. (P) DME volume unbelievably loud. (S) Volume set to more believable level. (P) Dead bugs on windshield. (S) Live bugs on order. (P) Autopilot in altitude hold mode produces a 200 fpm descent. (S) Cannot reproduce problem on the ground. (P) IFF inoperative. (S) IFF always inoperative in OFF mode. (P) Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick. (S) That's what they are there for. (P) Number three engine missing. (S) Engine found on right wing after brief search. (P) Aircraft handles FUNNY. (S) Aircraft warned to straighten up, "fly right" and be serious. (P) Target radar hums. (S) Reprogrammed Target Radar with the words.

13 May 2010, 11:17 PM	#4
Lion "TRF" Member Join Date: Jan 2009 Real Name: Leo Location: Midwest Watch: GMT-II 16710 PEPSI Posts: 21,461	Very good!!! __________________ SS GMT-II 16710 PEPSI(Z-serial#) THE ONLY DIFFERENCE BETWEEN MEN AND BOYS IS THE PRICE OF THE TOYS!!! MontBlanc Meisterstuck Doue Silver Barley MontBlanc Meisterstuck Solitaire Doue Signum Proud Card Carrying Member of the Curmudgeons.....Yikes!!!

14 May 2010, 03:33 AM	#6
Prince "TRF" Member Join Date: Feb 2006 Real Name: Allan Location: St. Augustine, FL Watch: Daytona/Sub/GMT/DJ Posts: 20,323	And my personal favorite: (P) Number three engine missing. (S) Engine found on right wing after brief search. __________________ Member: Rolex Keeper's Society "You see, you can't please everyone, so you got to please yourself." - Rick Nelson

16 May 2010, 04:27 PM	#8
chrislkb "TRF" Member Join Date: Dec 2007 Real Name: Christopher Location: Singapore Watch: out kiddo! Posts: 1,033	=) =d =p __________________ Viva La Rolex

13 May 2010, 04:01 PM	#2
Nicko Banned Join Date: Aug 2009 Location: Not here anymore Posts: 4,787	Excellent!

13 May 2010, 04:19 PM	#3
TheDeuce "TRF" Member Join Date: Jun 2009 Real Name: Michael Location: Winnipeg Watch: DD&YM&DaytonaOMy Posts: 294	LOL - although I only get a bunch of 'em from my private pilot training...

14 May 2010, 03:31 AM	#5
2th Dr Banned Join Date: Jan 2009 Real Name: Mark-O! Location: Arlington, TX Watch: Rolex Posts: 12,714	THAT was funny!

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