Alert Levels.

[padi56]

Remember this is only a Joke,and not meant to offend anyone.

The British are feeling the pinch in relation to recent bombings, the
level has just been raised from 'miffed' to "peeved'! Soon though, the

levels may be raised yet again to "irritated or even “a bit cross"!! Londoners
have not been a "bit cross" since the blitz in 1940 when tea supplies all but ran out.

Terrorists have been re-categorised from "tiresome" to "a bloody
nuisance", the last time a "bloody nuisance" warning level was issued
was during the great fire of London in 1666.



Be aware that the French government announced yesterday that it has
raised its terror alert level from RUN to HIDE. The only two higher
levels in France are Surrender and Collaborate.

The rise was precipitated by a recent fire that destroyed France's
white flag factory, effectively paralysing their military capability.

It's not only the French that are on a heightened level of alert,
The Italians have increased their alert level from "shout loudly and
wave arms about excitedly" to "elaborate military posturing". Two more levels remain,"ineffective combat operations" and "change sides if it suites".


The Germans also increased their alert state from "disdainful
arrogance" to "dress in uniform and goosestepp and sing silly marching songs". They have two higher levels, "invade a neighbour" and "lose".

Seeing this reaction in continental Europe the Americans have gone
from "isolationism" to "find another oil-rich nation in the middle
east ripe for regime change". Their remaining higher alert states are
"attack again if that dont work"Then "beg the British for help".

Finally here in GB we've gone from "pretend nothings happening" to
"make another cup of tea". Our higher levels are "remain resolutely
cheerful" and "win the cricket".

[Seadweller]

You were brave to post that Padi, but if you take it in the light hearted way it was meant then no-one could be offended and if they are then they've had a personality by-pass.

[padi56]

Originally Posted by Seadweller

You were brave to post that Padi, but if you take it in the light hearted way it was meant then no-one could be offended and if they are then they've had a personality by-pass.

Its not in my nature mate to offend anyone, if it does can easily be removed

[Charlie]

Classic

[Goodwatch]

Originally Posted by padi56

Remember this is only a Joke,and not meant to offend anyone.

The British are feeling the pinch in relation to recent bombings, the
level has just been raised from 'miffed' to "peeved'! Soon though, the

l

May I add the Dutch contribution?



Our level has been raised from ‘not us’ to ‘let’s install a commission to investigate’. Further levels are: ‘the Prime Minister will hold a speech in Parliament’, ‘the Prime Minister will address the nation on TV’, with the overall highest threat level: ‘does this mean we will run out of pot soon?’.



Frans.

[padi56]

Originally Posted by Goodwatch

May I add the Dutch contribution?



Our level has been raised from ‘not us’ to ‘let’s install a commission to investigate’. Further levels are: ‘the Prime Minister will hold a speech in Parliament’, ‘the Prime Minister will address the nation on TV’, with the overall highest threat level: ‘does this mean we will run out of pot soon?’.



Frans.

Yes frans and and true, love your Dutch Edam Cheese though. :

[JJ Irani]

Originally Posted by padi56

Yes frans and and true, love your Dutch Edam Cheese though. :

...that's cause you still haven't tried the NZ Edam cheese!!

[Goodwatch]

Originally Posted by JJ Irani

...that's cause you still haven't tried the NZ Edam cheese!!

Yes, and not a day goes by without me thanking the Good Lord for this

Frans.

[JJ Irani]

Originally Posted by Goodwatch

Yes, and not a day goes by without me thanking the Good Lord for this

Frans.

TOSSER!

[Goodwatch]

Originally Posted by padi56

Yes frans and and true, love your Dutch Edam Cheese though. :

(Uttered in very serious tone) We have dozens of hard and soft cheeses that are much, much better than Edam. I've had some nice matured farmcheese (not the factory stuff) from unpaturized (raw) milk. Delecious with a nice glass of Port. (Hooper's Grand Reserva 1937, still have the empty bottle). The Port was sitting there since 1999 and without any occasion I opened the bottle. Only had one, no use letting it sit there for another 10 years


Frans.

[padi56]

Must agree with you Frans nothing like some nice real cheese not this
plastic supermaket crap.