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mtrunner · 12 February 2011, 09:29 AM

A guy is browsing in a pet shop and sees a parrot sitting on a little perch. It doesn't have any feet or legs. The guy says aloud, "I wonder what happened to this parrot?"

The parrot replies, "I was born this way. I'm a defective parrot."

"WOW!" the guy exclaims. "You actually understood and answered me!"

"I got every word," says the parrot. "I happen to be a highly intelligent, thoroughly educated bird."

"Oh yeah?", the guy asks, "Then answer this. How do you hang onto your perch without any feet?"

"Well," the parrot says, "this is very embarrassing but since you asked, I wrap my willie around this wooden bar like a little hook. You can't see it because of my feathers."

"Wow" says the guy, "you really can understand and speak English, can't you!?"

"Actually, I speak both Spanish and English and I can converse with reasonable competence on almost any topic: politics, religion, sports,physics, philosophy. I'm especially good at ornithology. You really ought to buy me. I'd be a great companion."

The guy looks at the $200 price tag. "Sorry, but I just can't afford that."

"Pssssssst" says the parrot, "I'm defective, so the truth is, nobody wants me cause I don't have any feet. You can probably get me for $20, just make the guy an offer!"

The guy offers $20 and walks out with the parrot. Weeks go by. The parrot is sensational. He has a great sense of humor, he's interesting, he's a great pal, he understands everything, he sympathizes, and he's insightful.

The guy is delighted. One day the guy comes home from work and the parrot goes "Psssssssssssst" and motions him over with one wing. "I don't know if I should tell you this or not, but it's about your wife and the postman."

"What are you talking about?" asks the guy. "When the postman delivered today, your wife greeted him at the door in a sheer black nighty and kissed him passionately."

"WHAT?!" the guy asks incredulously. "Then what happened?"

"Well, then the postman came into the house and lifted up her nighty and began petting her all over" reported the parrot.

"My God!" he exclaims. "Then what?"

"Then he lifted up the nighty, got down on his knees and began to lick her all over, starting with her breasts and slowly going down . . ."

"WELL???" demands the frantic guy, "THEN WHAT
HAPPENED?"

"Damned if I know! I got a hard-on and fell
off my perch!"

Route 66 · 12 February 2011, 09:33 AM

rfknauss · 13 February 2011, 04:29 AM

johnbeth · 13 February 2011, 04:34 AM

swatty · 13 February 2011, 10:47 AM

Lion · 1 March 2011, 12:37 AM

Very good!!!

PeiMei · 1 March 2011, 05:28 AM

one of the best on here

12 February 2011, 09:29 AM	#1
mtrunner 2024 SubLV41 Pledge Member Join Date: Jan 2008 Real Name: Gary Location: Bozeman, MT Watch: 126508 Paul Newman Posts: 7,835	Legless Parrot A guy is browsing in a pet shop and sees a parrot sitting on a little perch. It doesn't have any feet or legs. The guy says aloud, "I wonder what happened to this parrot?" The parrot replies, "I was born this way. I'm a defective parrot." "WOW!" the guy exclaims. "You actually understood and answered me!" "I got every word," says the parrot. "I happen to be a highly intelligent, thoroughly educated bird." "Oh yeah?", the guy asks, "Then answer this. How do you hang onto your perch without any feet?" "Well," the parrot says, "this is very embarrassing but since you asked, I wrap my willie around this wooden bar like a little hook. You can't see it because of my feathers." "Wow" says the guy, "you really can understand and speak English, can't you!?" "Actually, I speak both Spanish and English and I can converse with reasonable competence on almost any topic: politics, religion, sports,physics, philosophy. I'm especially good at ornithology. You really ought to buy me. I'd be a great companion." The guy looks at the $200 price tag. "Sorry, but I just can't afford that." "Pssssssst" says the parrot, "I'm defective, so the truth is, nobody wants me cause I don't have any feet. You can probably get me for $20, just make the guy an offer!" The guy offers $20 and walks out with the parrot. Weeks go by. The parrot is sensational. He has a great sense of humor, he's interesting, he's a great pal, he understands everything, he sympathizes, and he's insightful. The guy is delighted. One day the guy comes home from work and the parrot goes "Psssssssssssst" and motions him over with one wing. "I don't know if I should tell you this or not, but it's about your wife and the postman." "What are you talking about?" asks the guy. "When the postman delivered today, your wife greeted him at the door in a sheer black nighty and kissed him passionately." "WHAT?!" the guy asks incredulously. "Then what happened?" "Well, then the postman came into the house and lifted up her nighty and began petting her all over" reported the parrot. "My God!" he exclaims. "Then what?" "Then he lifted up the nighty, got down on his knees and began to lick her all over, starting with her breasts and slowly going down . . ." "WELL???" demands the frantic guy, "THEN WHAT HAPPENED?" "Damned if I know! I got a hard-on and fell off my perch!"

13 February 2011, 04:29 AM	#3
rfknauss 2024 SubLV41 Pledge Member Join Date: Nov 2009 Real Name: Richard Location: Macungie, PA Watch: 5513 Sub, LV Sub Posts: 14,497	__________________ *"Few things in life give man as great a pleasure as wearing a Rolex!"* TRF's "AFTER DARK" Bar & NightClub Patron

1 March 2011, 12:37 AM	#6
Lion "TRF" Member Join Date: Jan 2009 Real Name: Leo Location: Midwest Watch: GMT-II 16710 PEPSI Posts: 21,461	Very good!!! __________________ SS GMT-II 16710 PEPSI(Z-serial#) THE ONLY DIFFERENCE BETWEEN MEN AND BOYS IS THE PRICE OF THE TOYS!!! MontBlanc Meisterstuck Doue Silver Barley MontBlanc Meisterstuck Solitaire Doue Signum Proud Card Carrying Member of the Curmudgeons.....Yikes!!!

12 February 2011, 09:33 AM	#2
Route 66 "TRF" Member Join Date: Apr 2010 Real Name: Steve Location: Burbank, CA Watch: 214270 Mark II Posts: 4,121

13 February 2011, 04:34 AM	#4
johnbeth "TRF" Member Join Date: Jul 2010 Real Name: John Location: Australia Watch: Depends on mood. Posts: 9,536

13 February 2011, 10:47 AM	#5
swatty 2024 SubLV41 Pledge Member Join Date: Dec 2007 Real Name: Peter Location: Sydney Watch: The Game Posts: 17,415

1 March 2011, 05:28 AM	#7
PeiMei Member Join Date: Jan 2011 Location: KS Posts: 25	one of the best on here

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