Bear hunting

[Rolex116520]

John is a renowned hunter . He has all the big game trophy's possible except a big bear ..
Off he goes to Russia ...
He arrives at a small village and early next day he sets off .
Half an hour later he sees this enormous bear next to a large oak tree .. aims from 30 yards and .. BANG .
John clearly saw the bear go down and runs towards the spot ..
To his surprise no dead bear , he looks around and suddenly he feels this gentle tap on his shoulder ... turns around and there is a 10 foot erect bear .
The bear rips John's pants to his knees and rapes him good .

John makes it back to the village and his rear end f... to pieces he goes to the bar and drowns a bottle of vodka in a couple of seconds and then inquires where the local gunsmith is .

John buys the largest elephant gun available and the next day he goes out with a vengeance .
Finds the bear at the same spot as the day before . Aims , BAAAAAANGGG .
John get thrown back a couple of yards but he also clearly saw the bear do the same .
Convinced the bear is more then dead he runs up to the spot .. NO BEAR ... just a tap on the shoulder and .. the same treatment inflicted .

John , hardly makes it back to the village . 2 bottles of vodka later he goes and sees the locksmith again . After some negotiation John obtains through black market contacts a missile launcher Stinger type .

John finds the bear at same spot , aims .. WOOOOSH .... BADABOOOMM . Several oak trees and the bear fly up in the air leaving a crater where once the bear stood .
John runs up in the hope to retrieve at least a little bit of bear as trophy ... nothing !

Just that now familiar pad on the shoulder ..
The bear whispers in his ear ...


you are really not here for the hunting , are you ?

[Lion]

Yikes!!!