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padi56 · 8 October 2005, 10:17 PM

GRAND FARTING COMPETITION

UNDER INTERNATIONAL RULES OF FARTING

TO BE HELD AT THE EAST GERMAN FARTING STADIUM

FART OFF: 19:30 Hours FINAL FART: 21:00 Hours

Referees:

1 Former Farting Champion (all classes) of Egypt and the Lebanon.

2 Wet Fart Champion of the United Kingdom and the Isle of Man.

Chairman:

Peter Pempslider - Who still holds the World Record Duration Fart for 9 seconds

Unbeaten after training on Pernod, Duck Eggs,baked beans,broccoli,Guinness and Mushy Peas). (Mind-blowing and ars# blowing training program).And this program assures the added bonus,of a certain piquancy ensuing multiple farts.

RULES:

When called each competitor will step forward onto the raised platform and must lower his trousers, on the platform and not before.

He will grip the Farting Post: Any grip is permitted, one hand or two.

At a given signal from the referee, the competitor will commence to fart.

A SHIT, OR BACKFIRE AND FOLLOW THOUGH, IS IMMEDIATELY DISQUALIFIED!

GRADING: Dry farts, long tarts, wet farts, short farts, alternating long and short farts, rip raps,farts with bubbles, blobs and squeaks.

The Judge will take into consideration quality of all farts strength, odour, posture of competitor, and grip used, Cushion dusters, blanket rippers and thunder claps are admissible. Echo chambers will NOT be allowed.

After the final fart a demonstration will be given by the World Champion Farter, also a runner up who came within one second of the 1991 World Championship but was disqualified for SHITTING. The Thunder Box Farting Formation Team will then give a display of Formation Farting.

The audience are requested not to fart during the competition as this upsets the Judge.

The drinking of alcohol and the eating of peanuts is not permitted during the contest as this causes the ars# to quiver, which distorts the farts, giving a false sound.

By Competition organiser. R.Sole.C.A.H. .

Earl · 9 October 2005, 12:07 AM

Omg, Roflmao

JJ Irani · 9 October 2005, 03:24 AM

OMG, you're not serious, are you, Padi? That is just too damn funny!!!

8 October 2005, 10:17 PM	#1
padi56 "TRF" Life Patron Join Date: Jun 2005 Real Name: Peter Location: Llanfairpwllgwyng Watch: ing you. Posts: 53,060	Farting Competition. GRAND FARTING COMPETITION UNDER INTERNATIONAL RULES OF FARTING TO BE HELD AT THE EAST GERMAN FARTING STADIUM FART OFF: 19:30 Hours FINAL FART: 21:00 Hours Referees: 1 Former Farting Champion (all classes) of Egypt and the Lebanon. 2 Wet Fart Champion of the United Kingdom and the Isle of Man. Chairman: Peter Pempslider - Who still holds the World Record Duration Fart for 9 seconds Unbeaten after training on Pernod, Duck Eggs,baked beans,broccoli,Guinness and Mushy Peas). (Mind-blowing and ars# blowing training program).And this program assures the added bonus,of a certain piquancy ensuing multiple farts. RULES: When called each competitor will step forward onto the raised platform and must lower his trousers, on the platform and not before. He will grip the Farting Post: Any grip is permitted, one hand or two. At a given signal from the referee, the competitor will commence to fart. A SHIT, OR BACKFIRE AND FOLLOW THOUGH, IS IMMEDIATELY DISQUALIFIED! GRADING: Dry farts, long tarts, wet farts, short farts, alternating long and short farts, rip raps,farts with bubbles, blobs and squeaks. The Judge will take into consideration quality of all farts strength, odour, posture of competitor, and grip used, Cushion dusters, blanket rippers and thunder claps are admissible. Echo chambers will NOT be allowed. After the final fart a demonstration will be given by the World Champion Farter, also a runner up who came within one second of the 1991 World Championship but was disqualified for SHITTING. The Thunder Box Farting Formation Team will then give a display of Formation Farting. The audience are requested not to fart during the competition as this upsets the Judge. The drinking of alcohol and the eating of peanuts is not permitted during the contest as this causes the ars# to quiver, which distorts the farts, giving a false sound. By Competition organiser. R.Sole.C.A.H. . __________________ ICom Pro3 All posts are my own opinion and my opinion only. "The clock of life is wound but once, and no man has the power to tell just when the hands will stop. Now is the only time you actually own the time, Place no faith in time, for the clock may soon be still for ever." Good Judgement comes from experience,experience comes from Bad Judgement,.Buy quality, cry once; buy cheap, cry again and again. www.mc0yad.club Second in command CEO and left handed watch winder

9 October 2005, 03:24 AM	#3
JJ Irani Fondly Remembered Join Date: May 2005 Real Name: JJ Location: Auckland, NZ Watch: ALL SOLD!! Posts: 74,319	OMG, you're not serious, are you, Padi? That is just too damn funny!!! __________________ Words fail me in expressing my utmost thanks to ALL of you for this wonderful support during my hour of need!! I firmly believe that my time on planet earth is NOT yet up!! I shall fight this to the very end.......and WIN!!

9 October 2005, 12:07 AM	#2
Earl "TRF" Member Join Date: May 2005 Real Name: Who Me? Location: Northern Virginia Watch: out Posts: 4,616	Omg, Roflmao

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