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Monte Cristo · 17 April 2012, 07:28 PM

Two old friends were just about to tee off at the first hole of their local golf course when a guy carrying a golf bag called out to them, 'Do you mind if I join you? My partner didn't turn up.'

'Sure,' they said, 'You're welcome.' So they started playing and enjoyed the game and the company of the newcomer.

Part way around the course, one of the friends asked the newcomer, 'What do you do for a living?'

'I'm a hit man,' was the reply. You're joking!' was their response.
'No, I'm not,' he said, reaching into his golf bag, and pulling out a beautiful Martini sniper's rifle with a large telescopic sight. 'Here are my tools.'

'That's a beautiful telescopic sight,' said the other friend, 'Can I take a look? I think I might be able to see my house from here.'

So he picked up the rifle and looked through the sight in the direction of his house.

'Yeah, I can see my house all right. This sight is fantastic. I can see right in the window. Wow, I can see my wife in the bedroom... Ha Ha, I can see she's naked!! Wait a minute, that's my neighbor in there with her...He's naked, too!!!

He turned to the hit man, 'How much do you charge for a hit?'

'I'll do a flat rate for you, one thousand dollars every time I pull the trigger.'

'Can you do two for me now?'

'Sure. What do you want?'

'First, shoot my wife. She's always been mouthy, so shoot her in the mouth.
'Then the neighbor - he's a friend of mine, so just shoot his dick off to teach him a lesson.'

The hit man took the rifle and took aim, standing perfectly still for a few minutes.

'Are you going to do it or not?' asked the friend impatiently.

'Just be patient,' said the hit man calmly, 'I think I can save you a grand here...'

MonBK · 17 April 2012, 07:30 PM

:)

swatty · 17 April 2012, 07:38 PM

toph · 17 April 2012, 07:47 PM

Hahahahaha

westbroek · 17 April 2012, 07:50 PM

hahaha!!

Andad · 17 April 2012, 07:53 PM

An oldie but a goodie.

mjclark32 · 17 April 2012, 08:09 PM

Hahaha

LeotheLion · 17 April 2012, 08:15 PM

mitchy · 17 April 2012, 11:37 PM

Rollie2011 · 18 April 2012, 01:45 AM

TSW · 18 April 2012, 08:06 AM

:))

FeelingTheBlues · 18 April 2012, 09:00 AM

cecilia · 18 April 2012, 06:37 PM

:)

eric23 · 20 April 2012, 12:29 AM

Kevin B · 20 April 2012, 02:31 AM

Thats great

77T · 23 April 2012, 01:35 AM

17 April 2012, 07:28 PM	#1
Monte Cristo "TRF" Member Join Date: Apr 2012 Location: Sydney Watch: ing you... Posts: 3,775	Golfing Hitman Two old friends were just about to tee off at the first hole of their local golf course when a guy carrying a golf bag called out to them, 'Do you mind if I join you? My partner didn't turn up.' 'Sure,' they said, 'You're welcome.' So they started playing and enjoyed the game and the company of the newcomer. Part way around the course, one of the friends asked the newcomer, 'What do you do for a living?' 'I'm a hit man,' was the reply. You're joking!' was their response. 'No, I'm not,' he said, reaching into his golf bag, and pulling out a beautiful Martini sniper's rifle with a large telescopic sight. 'Here are my tools.' 'That's a beautiful telescopic sight,' said the other friend, 'Can I take a look? I think I might be able to see my house from here.' So he picked up the rifle and looked through the sight in the direction of his house. 'Yeah, I can see my house all right. This sight is fantastic. I can see right in the window. Wow, I can see my wife in the bedroom... Ha Ha, I can see she's naked!! Wait a minute, that's my neighbor in there with her...He's naked, too!!! He turned to the hit man, 'How much do you charge for a hit?' 'I'll do a flat rate for you, one thousand dollars every time I pull the trigger.' 'Can you do two for me now?' 'Sure. What do you want?' 'First, shoot my wife. She's always been mouthy, so shoot her in the mouth. 'Then the neighbor - he's a friend of mine, so just shoot his dick off to teach him a lesson.' The hit man took the rifle and took aim, standing perfectly still for a few minutes. 'Are you going to do it or not?' asked the friend impatiently. 'Just be patient,' said the hit man calmly, 'I think I can save you a grand here...'

17 April 2012, 07:47 PM	#4
toph "TRF" Member Join Date: Apr 2008 Real Name: ChrisTOPHer Location: Sydney Watch: Rolex, Brellum, Posts: 12,601	Hahahahaha __________________ "Where no counsel is the people fall, but in the multitude of counselors there is safety." Member No.# 11795

17 April 2012, 07:50 PM	#5
westbroek "TRF" Member Join Date: Feb 2012 Real Name: Dylan Location: The Netherlands Watch: GMT Master II Posts: 341	hahaha!! __________________ I get better with time like a watch.

17 April 2012, 07:53 PM	#6
Andad 2024 SubLV41 Pledge Member Join Date: Nov 2006 Real Name: Eddie Location: Australia Watch: A few. Posts: 37,526	An oldie but a goodie. __________________ E

17 April 2012, 08:09 PM	#7
mjclark32 "TRF" Member Join Date: Mar 2010 Real Name: MJC Location: PHL USA Watch: IWC, Rolex, AP Posts: 29,232	Hahaha __________________

17 April 2012, 07:30 PM	#2
MonBK Banned Join Date: Nov 2010 Location: Kingstown Posts: 58,279	:)

17 April 2012, 07:38 PM	#3
swatty 2024 SubLV41 Pledge Member Join Date: Dec 2007 Real Name: Peter Location: Sydney Watch: The Game Posts: 17,415

17 April 2012, 08:15 PM	#8
LeotheLion Member Join Date: Aug 2009 Real Name: Dennis Location: England Watch: GMT2 and Datejust Posts: 440

17 April 2012, 11:37 PM	#9
mitchy "TRF" Member Join Date: Apr 2010 Real Name: Mitch Location: . Watch: 116710LN Posts: 2,495	__________________ Time you enjoy wasting, was not wasted John Lennon

18 April 2012, 01:45 AM	#10
Rollie2011 "TRF" Member Join Date: Mar 2011 Real Name: John Location: Palm Beach, FL Watch: Sub-C + Exp 42 Posts: 1,654	__________________ John Submariner C LN Explorer 42 Polar

18 April 2012, 08:06 AM	#11
TSW "TRF" Member Join Date: Feb 2009 Real Name: TSW Location: Le Brassus Watch: Rolex & AP's Posts: 27,449	:)) __________________ AP Owners Club IG @swiss.watch.connection

18 April 2012, 09:00 AM	#12
FeelingTheBlues "TRF" Member Join Date: Sep 2011 Real Name: Carl Location: Always moving Watch: If you wish... Posts: 22,039	__________________ Mon corps c'est un pays en guerre sur l'point d'finir, Le général de l'armée de terre s'attend au pire, J'ai faim, j'ai frette, je suis trop faible pour me lever debout, On va hisser le drapeau blanc un point c'est tout. - André Fortin

18 April 2012, 06:37 PM	#13
cecilia "TRF" Member Join Date: Oct 2011 Real Name: Cecilia Location: Here Watch: Patek Philippe Posts: 1,730	:)

20 April 2012, 12:29 AM	#14
eric23 "TRF" Member Join Date: Apr 2008 Real Name: Eric Location: Calgary Posts: 9,595

20 April 2012, 02:31 AM	#15
Kevin B "TRF" Member Join Date: Apr 2010 Location: San Diego Posts: 324	Thats great

23 April 2012, 01:35 AM	#16
77T 2024 SubLV41 Pledge Member Join Date: Dec 2010 Real Name: PaulG Location: Georgia Posts: 42,016	__________________ Does anyone really know what time it is?

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