Burn off those extra calories...

[Orchi]

It has been known for many years that Sex was good exercise, but until now nobody had made a scientific study of the caloric content of different sexual activities. Now, after "original and proprietary" research the results are in:

REMOVING HER CLOTHES:

With her consent..........................12 Calories
Without her consent.....................2187 Calories

REMOVING HER BRA:

With both hands............................8 Calories
With one hand.............................12 Calories
With your teeth..........................485 Calories

PUTTING ON A CONDOM

With an erection...........................6 Calories
Without an erection.....................3315 Calories

PRELIMINARIES:

Trying to find the clitoris................8 Calories
Trying to find the G-Spot...............4092 Calories

POSITIONS:

Missionary................................12 Calories
69 lying down.............................78 Calories
69 standing up...........................812 Calories
Wheelbarrow..............................216 Calories
Doggy Style..............................326 Calories
Italian chandelier......................2912 Calories

ORGASMS:

Real.....................................112 Calories
Fake....................................1315 Calories

POST ORGASM:

Lying in bed hugging......................18 Calories
Getting up immediately....................36 Calories
Explaining why you got out of
bed immediately..........................816 Calories

SECOND ERECTION:

If you are:

20-29 years...............................36 Calories
30-39 years...............................80 Calories
40-49 years..............................124 Calories
50-59 years.............................1972 Calories
60-69 years.............................7916 Calories
70 and over.............................Results are still pending

DRESSING AFTERWARDS:

Calmly....................................32 Calories
In a hurry................................98 Calories
With her father knocking at the door....5218 Calories
With your wife knocking at the door...13,521 Calories

[frostie]

[Gaijin]

Where do you get all these Orchi!?

[TDH]

[JJ Irani]

[jasonbellevue]

[bmq]

[Robb]

[Tombstone]

[Tools]

[CPCC]