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dba · 18 December 2013, 04:40 PM

Don't know if this has been posted but it's a good reminder for the upcoming holiday season.

Holiday Eating Tips:

1. Avoid carrot sticks. Anyone who puts carrots on a holiday buffet table knows nothing of the Christmas spirit. In fact, if you see carrots, leave immediately. Go next door where they’re serving rum balls.

2. Drink as much eggnog as you can and quickly as you can. You can’t find it any other time of the year but now. So drink up! Who cares that it has 10,000 calories in every sip? It’s not as if you’re going to turn into an “eggnog-aholic” or something! It’s a treat, enjoy it. Have one for me. Have two. It’s later than you think. It’s Christmas!

3. If something comes with gravy, use it. That’s the whole point of gravy. Gravy does not stand alone. Pour it on. Make a volcano out of your mashed potatoes. Fill it with gravy. Eat the volcano. Repeat.

4. As for mashed potatoes, always ask if they’re made with skim milk or whole milk. If it’s skim; pass. Why bother? It’s like buying a sports car with automatic transmission.

5. Do not have a snack before going to a party in an effort to control your eating. The whole point of going to a Christmas party is to eat other people’s food for free. Lots of it. Hello!?!?

6. Under no circumstances should you exercise between now and New Year’s. You can do that in January when you have nothing else to do. This is the time for long naps, which you’ll need after circling the buffet table while carrying a 10-pound plate of food and that vat of eggnog.

7. If you come across something really good at a buffet table, like frosted Christmas cookies in the shape and size of Santa, position yourself near them and don’t budge. Have as many as you can before becoming the center of attention. They’re like a Platinum Rolex DD with the Ice Blue Dial. If you leave them behind, you’re never going to see them again.

8. Same for pies. Apple, pumpkin and mincemeat – have a slice of each. Or, if you don’t like mincemeat, have two apples and one pumpkin. Always have three. When else do you get to have more than one dessert? Labor Day?

9. Did someone mention fruitcake? Granted, it’s loaded with the mandatory celebratory calories, but avoid it at all costs. For heaven’s sake, have some standards.

10. One final tip: If you don’t feel terrible when you leave the party or get up from the table, you haven’t been paying attention. Reread tips: Start over, but hurry; January is just around the corner.

Runnin' Rebel · 18 December 2013, 04:43 PM

Happy Holiday !!

Nice post

Dr. Robert · 18 December 2013, 05:03 PM

:ag ree:

swatty · 18 December 2013, 06:03 PM

bayerische · 18 December 2013, 07:09 PM

Whole heartily!

Happy holidays everybody!

bayerische · 18 December 2013, 07:10 PM

Whole heartily!

Happy holidays everybody!

Bangel · 18 December 2013, 07:58 PM

But I like the fruitcake!

cop414 · 18 December 2013, 09:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bangel

But I like the fruitcake!

Me too Julian, especially when smothered with cream cheese! MERRY CHRISTMAS everyone!!

East Bay Rider · 18 December 2013, 10:47 PM

HAHAHA great advice and very funny.

FeelingTheBlues · 18 December 2013, 10:52 PM

Words of wisdom if I ever read some...

Happy holidays to everybody.

subtona · 18 December 2013, 10:52 PM

Thats a sure recipe for a rich and rewarding holiday experience!!!

Enjoying good food with family, does it get any better?

Im of the "yes, bring it on philosophy"
Plenty of time in the new year to get things under control

mjclark32 · 18 December 2013, 10:58 PM

Lisa · 18 December 2013, 11:01 PM

Thanks for these excellent guidelines. We can make it through the holidays responsibly now!

brandrea · 18 December 2013, 11:19 PM

#3 really resonates with me

Thanks for the post!

69mach351 · 19 December 2013, 12:16 AM

#1 for sure

Lion · 19 December 2013, 12:17 AM

And Please Do Not Forget: "If you choose to drink...Please have a Designated Driver......keep it Safe and Sane"......

Take care.....Leo

18 December 2013, 04:43 PM	#2
Runnin' Rebel "TRF" Member Join Date: Jan 2010 Real Name: Mark Location: 🤔 Posts: 8,424	Happy Holiday !! Nice post __________________ ♛

18 December 2013, 07:09 PM	#5
bayerische "TRF" Member Join Date: Nov 2009 Real Name: Andreas Location: Margaritaville Watch: Smurf Posts: 19,879	Whole heartily! Happy holidays everybody! __________________ Yeah, well, you know, that's just, like, your opinion, man.

18 December 2013, 07:10 PM	#6
bayerische "TRF" Member Join Date: Nov 2009 Real Name: Andreas Location: Margaritaville Watch: Smurf Posts: 19,879	Whole heartily! Happy holidays everybody! __________________ Yeah, well, you know, that's just, like, your opinion, man.

18 December 2013, 10:47 PM	#9
East Bay Rider "TRF" Member Join Date: Oct 2007 Real Name: Bill Location: East Bay RI Watch: GMT-II 16710LN Posts: 12,073	HAHAHA great advice and very funny. __________________ I bought a cheap watch from the crazy man Floating down canal It doesn't use numbers or moving hands It always just says "now" Now you may be thinking that I was had But this watch is never wrong And if I have trouble the warranty said Breathe In, Breathe Out, Move On J. Buffett Instagram: eastbayrider46

18 December 2013, 10:52 PM	#10
FeelingTheBlues "TRF" Member Join Date: Sep 2011 Real Name: Carl Location: Always moving Watch: If you wish... Posts: 22,039	Words of wisdom if I ever read some... Happy holidays to everybody. __________________ Mon corps c'est un pays en guerre sur l'point d'finir, Le général de l'armée de terre s'attend au pire, J'ai faim, j'ai frette, je suis trop faible pour me lever debout, On va hisser le drapeau blanc un point c'est tout. - André Fortin

18 December 2013, 04:40 PM	#1
dba 2024 Pledge Member Join Date: Jun 2008 Real Name: David Location: Gardnerville, NV Watch: 16710 Posts: 2,706	Holiday Eating Tips Don't know if this has been posted but it's a good reminder for the upcoming holiday season. Holiday Eating Tips: 1. Avoid carrot sticks. Anyone who puts carrots on a holiday buffet table knows nothing of the Christmas spirit. In fact, if you see carrots, leave immediately. Go next door where they’re serving rum balls. 2. Drink as much eggnog as you can and quickly as you can. You can’t find it any other time of the year but now. So drink up! Who cares that it has 10,000 calories in every sip? It’s not as if you’re going to turn into an “eggnog-aholic” or something! It’s a treat, enjoy it. Have one for me. Have two. It’s later than you think. It’s Christmas! 3. If something comes with gravy, use it. That’s the whole point of gravy. Gravy does not stand alone. Pour it on. Make a volcano out of your mashed potatoes. Fill it with gravy. Eat the volcano. Repeat. 4. As for mashed potatoes, always ask if they’re made with skim milk or whole milk. If it’s skim; pass. Why bother? It’s like buying a sports car with automatic transmission. 5. Do not have a snack before going to a party in an effort to control your eating. The whole point of going to a Christmas party is to eat other people’s food for free. Lots of it. Hello!?!? 6. Under no circumstances should you exercise between now and New Year’s. You can do that in January when you have nothing else to do. This is the time for long naps, which you’ll need after circling the buffet table while carrying a 10-pound plate of food and that vat of eggnog. 7. If you come across something really good at a buffet table, like frosted Christmas cookies in the shape and size of Santa, position yourself near them and don’t budge. Have as many as you can before becoming the center of attention. They’re like a Platinum Rolex DD with the Ice Blue Dial. If you leave them behind, you’re never going to see them again. 8. Same for pies. Apple, pumpkin and mincemeat – have a slice of each. Or, if you don’t like mincemeat, have two apples and one pumpkin. Always have three. When else do you get to have more than one dessert? Labor Day? 9. Did someone mention fruitcake? Granted, it’s loaded with the mandatory celebratory calories, but avoid it at all costs. For heaven’s sake, have some standards. 10. One final tip: If you don’t feel terrible when you leave the party or get up from the table, you haven’t been paying attention. Reread tips: Start over, but hurry; January is just around the corner.

18 December 2013, 05:03 PM	#3
Dr. Robert 2024 SubLV41 Pledge Member Join Date: Dec 2009 Real Name: Bob Location: U.S.A. Watch: 1655 Posts: 64,297	:ag ree: __________________ Founder & Card Carrying Member of the Global Association of Retro-Grouch-Curmudgeons

18 December 2013, 06:03 PM	#4
swatty 2024 SubLV41 Pledge Member Join Date: Dec 2007 Real Name: Peter Location: Sydney Watch: The Game Posts: 17,415

18 December 2013, 07:58 PM	#7
Bangel "TRF" Member Join Date: Oct 2011 Location: Australia Watch: 116610LN Posts: 15,802	But I like the fruitcake!

18 December 2013, 10:52 PM	#11
subtona "TRF" Member Join Date: Jan 2011 Real Name: gus Location: East Coast Watch: APK & sometimes Y Posts: 26,601	Thats a sure recipe for a rich and rewarding holiday experience!!! Enjoying good food with family, does it get any better? Im of the "yes, bring it on philosophy" Plenty of time in the new year to get things under control __________________

18 December 2013, 10:58 PM	#12
mjclark32 "TRF" Member Join Date: Mar 2010 Real Name: MJC Location: PHL USA Watch: IWC, Rolex, AP Posts: 29,232	__________________

18 December 2013, 11:01 PM	#13
Lisa "TRF" Member Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: oklahoma city Posts: 15,741	Thanks for these excellent guidelines. We can make it through the holidays responsibly now!

18 December 2013, 11:19 PM	#14
brandrea 2024 SubLV41 Pledge Member Join Date: Jul 2013 Real Name: Brian (TBone) Location: canada Watch: es make me smile Posts: 78,129	#3 really resonates with me Thanks for the post!

19 December 2013, 12:16 AM	#15
69mach351 "TRF" Member Join Date: Dec 2012 Location: Midwest Watch: 116900 Posts: 1,066	#1 for sure

19 December 2013, 12:17 AM	#16
Lion "TRF" Member Join Date: Jan 2009 Real Name: Leo Location: Midwest Watch: GMT-II 16710 PEPSI Posts: 21,461	And Please Do Not Forget: "If you choose to drink...Please have a Designated Driver......keep it Safe and Sane"...... Take care.....Leo __________________ SS GMT-II 16710 PEPSI(Z-serial#) THE ONLY DIFFERENCE BETWEEN MEN AND BOYS IS THE PRICE OF THE TOYS!!! MontBlanc Meisterstuck Doue Silver Barley MontBlanc Meisterstuck Solitaire Doue Signum Proud Card Carrying Member of the Curmudgeons.....Yikes!!!

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