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Alcan · 26 April 2014, 07:18 AM

Why did the chicken cross the road?

DR. PHIL:
The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that he must first deal with the problem on 'THIS' side of the road before it goes after the problem on the 'OTHER SIDE' of the road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he's acting by not taking on his 'CURRENT' problems before adding 'NEW' problems.

OPRAH :
Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to give this chicken a car so that he can just drive across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.

GEORGE W. BUSH :
We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken is either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here.

COLIN POWELL :
Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road...

ANDERSON COOPER - CNN:
We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.

JOHN KERRY :
Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken's intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it.

NANCY GRACE :
That chicken crossed the road because he's GUILTY! You can see is in his eyes and the way he walks.

PAT BUCHANAN :
To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.

MARTHA STEWART :
No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information.

DR. SEUSS :
Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been told.

ERNEST HEMINGWAY :
To die in the rain. Alone.

JERRY FALWELL :
Because the chicken was gay! Can't you people see the plain truth? That's why they call it the 'other side.' Yes, my friends, that chicken is gay. And if you eat that chicken, you will become gay too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the liberal media white-washes with seemingly harmless phrases like ''the other side". That chicken should not be crossing the road. It's as plain and as simple as that.

GRANDPA :
In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.

BARBARA WALTERS :
Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart warming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish its life long dream of crossing the road.

ARISTOTLE :
It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

BILL GATES :
I have just released eChicken2007, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your check book. Internet Explorer is an integral part of eChicken. This new platform is much more stable and will never cra...#@&&^(C% ........ reboot.

ALBERT EINSTEIN :
Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?

BILL CLINTON :
I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What is your definition of chicken?

AL GORE :
I invented the chicken!

COLONEL SANDERS :
Did I miss one?

DICK CHENEY :
Where's my gun?

AL SHARPTON :
Why are all the chickens white? We need some black chickens .

cop414 · 26 April 2014, 07:24 AM

nickb732 · 26 April 2014, 07:35 AM

oldie but goodie...

Psmith · 26 April 2014, 08:21 AM

77T · 27 April 2014, 01:21 PM

Hairdude1 · 27 April 2014, 04:26 PM

seand442 · 28 April 2014, 12:05 PM

Cc1966 · 28 April 2014, 10:19 PM

Love Gore's answer!

Bisquitlips · 7 February 2015, 10:31 AM

polarinda · 7 February 2015, 11:00 AM

:))

jdog19 · 11 February 2015, 03:17 AM

Why did the pervert cross the road?
His .... Was stuck in the chicken

Tri-Tip · 11 February 2015, 05:57 AM

We can add one now:

BRIAN WILLIAMS: I was with the chicken as he crossed the road and we took heavy artillery fire.

Thunderball57 · 11 February 2015, 08:35 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tri-Tip

We can add one now:

BRIAN WILLIAMS: I was with the chicken as he crossed the road and we took heavy artillery fire.

Love it!

26 April 2014, 07:18 AM	#1
Alcan 2024 Pledge Member Join Date: Nov 2006 Real Name: Al Location: Way Up North Watch: your P's & Q's Posts: 10,473	An oldie revived.... Why did the chicken cross the road? DR. PHIL: The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that he must first deal with the problem on 'THIS' side of the road before it goes after the problem on the 'OTHER SIDE' of the road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he's acting by not taking on his 'CURRENT' problems before adding 'NEW' problems. OPRAH : Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to give this chicken a car so that he can just drive across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens. GEORGE W. BUSH : We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken is either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here. COLIN POWELL : Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road... ANDERSON COOPER - CNN: We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road. JOHN KERRY : Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken's intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it. NANCY GRACE : That chicken crossed the road because he's GUILTY! You can see is in his eyes and the way he walks. PAT BUCHANAN : To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American. MARTHA STEWART : No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information. DR. SEUSS : Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been told. ERNEST HEMINGWAY : To die in the rain. Alone. JERRY FALWELL : Because the chicken was gay! Can't you people see the plain truth? That's why they call it the 'other side.' Yes, my friends, that chicken is gay. And if you eat that chicken, you will become gay too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the liberal media white-washes with seemingly harmless phrases like ''the other side". That chicken should not be crossing the road. It's as plain and as simple as that. GRANDPA : In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough. BARBARA WALTERS : Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart warming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish its life long dream of crossing the road. ARISTOTLE : It is the nature of chickens to cross the road. BILL GATES : I have just released eChicken2007, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your check book. Internet Explorer is an integral part of eChicken. This new platform is much more stable and will never cra...#@&&^(C% ........ reboot. ALBERT EINSTEIN : Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken? BILL CLINTON : I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What is your definition of chicken? AL GORE : I invented the chicken! COLONEL SANDERS : Did I miss one? DICK CHENEY : Where's my gun? AL SHARPTON : Why are all the chickens white? We need some black chickens . __________________ Member #1,315 I don't want to get technical, but according to chemistry alcohol IS a solution!

26 April 2014, 07:24 AM	#2
cop414 TRF Moderator & 2024 SubLV41 Patron Join Date: Apr 2012 Real Name: Tim Location: Pennsylvania Watch: 14060M Posts: 72,179	__________________ Rolex Submariner 14060M Omega Seamaster 2254.50 DOXA Professional 1200T Card carrying member of TRF's Global Association of Retro-Grouch-Curmudgeons TRF's "After Dark" Bar & NightClub Patron P Club Member #17 2 FA ENABLED

26 April 2014, 07:35 AM	#3
nickb732 "TRF" Member Join Date: Feb 2014 Real Name: Nicholas Location: UK Posts: 2,630	oldie but goodie... __________________ Nick

26 April 2014, 08:21 AM	#4
Psmith "TRF" Member Join Date: Sep 2008 Real Name: Clive Location: Exoplanet Watch: spring-driven Posts: 38,856	__________________

27 April 2014, 01:21 PM	#5
77T 2024 SubLV41 Pledge Member Join Date: Dec 2010 Real Name: PaulG Location: Georgia Posts: 41,959	__________________ Does anyone really know what time it is?

27 April 2014, 04:26 PM	#6
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28 April 2014, 12:05 PM	#7
seand442 "TRF" Member Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: Earth Watch: 116610 Posts: 3,455	__________________ NEVER ARGUE WITH AN IDIOT. FIRST THEY WILL DRAG YOU DOWN TO THEIR LEVEL. THEN, THEY WILL BEAT YOU WITH EXPERIENCE.

28 April 2014, 10:19 PM	#8
Cc1966 "TRF" Member Join Date: Aug 2013 Real Name: Christopher Location: Georgia, USA Watch: ing the Sea... Posts: 6,713	Love Gore's answer! __________________ "I wish to have no Connection with any Ship that does not Sail fast for I intend to go in harm's way." Captain John Paul Jones, 16 November 1778 "*Curmudgeons* " Favorites: 1665 SD, Sub Date, DSSD, Exp II, Sub LV, GMTIIc

7 February 2015, 10:31 AM	#9
Bisquitlips 2024 Pledge Member Join Date: Sep 2008 Real Name: Richard Location: USA Watch: YM Deep Space Posts: 12,521	__________________ Rolex Yacht-Master 40mm (SS-YG / Deep Space MOP) 16623 Breitling Aerospace Titanium / 18K with UTC. Omega Speedmaster 3510.50 Oris TT1 Pro Diver Regulator 43MM

7 February 2015, 11:00 AM	#10
polarinda "TRF" Member Join Date: Mar 2011 Real Name: Trav Location: singapore Watch: it Posts: 2,316	:))

11 February 2015, 03:17 AM	#11
jdog19 "TRF" Member Join Date: Oct 2014 Posts: 134	Why did the pervert cross the road? His .... Was stuck in the chicken

11 February 2015, 05:57 AM	#12
Tri-Tip "TRF" Member Join Date: Jan 2011 Location: CA, USA Watch: Out!!! Posts: 6,471	We can add one now: BRIAN WILLIAMS: I was with the chicken as he crossed the road and we took heavy artillery fire.

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