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3 May 2015, 08:30 PM | #1 |
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British Humour.
Boy comes home and tells his parents he has just had sex for the first time.
The proud Dad says 'I'll buy you a bike to celebrate, but you will have To wait until next pay day" The boy replies 'that's all right Dad, my arse is too sore to ride it anyway' ------------------------------------------------------------ Had my first Gig as a stand up comedian at an old people's home last Night. They didn't get any of my jokes but they still piss#d themselves. What is the medical term for the fatty tissue surrounding the clitoris? The wife. ----------------------------------------------- Essex girl in bed with her boyfriend says, 'How dare you call me a Slapper, get out of my bed right now and take your f****ing mates with You ----------------------------------------------------- I was at Tesco this afternoon, when a lady dropped dead in front of me, I felt really sorry for her - she had just bought one of those plastic carrier bags for life. ---------------------------------------------------- Teacher says to little Tommy 'Why weren't you at school yesterday?' Tommy says 'My grandfather got burnt' Teacher says 'Badly?' Little Tommy Says 'Yes, they don't f*ck about at the crematorium.' ---------------------------------------------------------------- A friend of mine says he is making love to twins, I said ' How can you Tell the difference?' He said ' Her brother has got a mustache". ------------------------------------------------- A charity pantomime in aid of Paranoid Schizophrenics and Homosexuals Descended into chaos yesterday when somebody shouted 'He's behind you!'
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ICom Pro3 All posts are my own opinion and my opinion only. "The clock of life is wound but once, and no man has the power to tell just when the hands will stop. Now is the only time you actually own the time, Place no faith in time, for the clock may soon be still for ever." Good Judgement comes from experience,experience comes from Bad Judgement,.Buy quality, cry once; buy cheap, cry again and again. www.mc0yad.club Second in command CEO and left handed watch winder |
3 May 2015, 09:56 PM | #2 |
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Brilliant. My kids are asking why I'm nearly crying!!!
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4 May 2015, 05:59 AM | #3 |
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Clearly only 2 of us with a great sense of humour!!
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4 May 2015, 06:37 AM | #4 |
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:)
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4 May 2015, 06:46 AM | #5 |
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4 May 2015, 08:15 AM | #6 |
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4 May 2015, 08:39 AM | #7 |
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4 May 2015, 09:32 AM | #8 |
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Love the crematorium and Old people's home ones, think I'll nick em.
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4 May 2015, 12:25 PM | #9 |
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4 May 2015, 08:18 PM | #10 |
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4 May 2015, 08:28 PM | #11 |
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You are disgusting Peter.
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4 May 2015, 11:03 PM | #12 |
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17 May 2015, 12:17 PM | #13 |
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19 May 2015, 12:30 AM | #14 |
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Love it....
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