Are you a loner?

[timedate]

Or are you a big gregarious social type?

As the years have gone by i have become more and more of a loner,

i always felt alone, even when in company, going from having many friends as a young man to mainly aquaintances nowadays,

its not a problem, and its not a feeling of being lonely as such, its just a feeling that you are not quite fitting in somehow, you get bored easily and retreat to whatever you find interesting.

dont get me wrong, i like people, i associate with people everyday, but i think i have always essentially been a loner,

Maybe friends were always a bit overrated, maybe i felt i was a better friend and it wasnt being reciprocated.

I know of quite a few people who also appear to be loners.

i think some people in my family tree would be classed as loners, my grandad, but certainly not my brothers who constantly crave company and get plenty of it.

So where do you stand regarding this?

[tyler1980]

yes... total introvert.

Not shy, introvert. it's actually different and always mixed up.

Social interaction exhausts me. I always need alone time immediately after being in a social situation.

I prefer solo activities to group activities every time. If its a group it has to be small for me to enjoy it even a little.

I can however talk to people fine, give large presentations in front of huge groups and do it well. If i was shy it would terrify me.

[Zakalwe]

Introvert here too.

My wife is the same. We were both socially and financially independent from a young age, so we both lived alone for a few years and didn’t meet until into our 30’s. This has the amusing effect of meaning that we can spend time (and enjoy being) in each other’s company for hours on end despite barely exchanging a word.

[timedate]

Originally Posted by tyler1980

yes... total introvert.

Not shy, introvert. it's actually different and always mixed up.

Social interaction exhausts me. I always need alone time immediately after being in a social situation.

I prefer solo activities to group activities every time. If its a group it has to be small for me to enjoy it even a little.

it actually feels good to get it off your chest, it's not that i think i am superior to people, as i really am just an average joe, its just i find 'characters' few and far between, i was and i still am drawn to old school types, but people aint like that anymore.

Every friendship i have ever had has dwindled, but i am not really bothered, i have no interest in replacing them, i would rather read and learn about cars or watches, or care for my rabbit. lol

[SpeakWithMichael]

Originally Posted by timedate

Or are you a big gregarious social type?

As the years have gone by i have become more and more of a loner,

i always felt alone, even when in company, going from having many friends as a young man to mainly aquaintances nowadays,

its not a problem, and its not a feeling of being lonely as such, its just a feeling that you are not quite fitting in somehow, you get bored easily and retreat to whatever you find interesting.

dont get me wrong, i like people, i associate with people everyday, but i think i have always essentially been a loner,

Maybe friends were always a bit overrated, maybe i felt i was a better friend and it wasnt being reciprocated.

I know of quite a few people who also appear to be loners.

i think some people in my family tree would be classed as loners, my grandad, but certainly not my brothers who constantly crave company and get plenty of it.

So where do you stand regarding this?

I feel like this came out of my brain. Sometimes I'm not sure fitting in is worth what that entails. I'm happy being me, but yes, I sometimes long for more friendships that I really treasure. I'm not good at making new friends, and I've become a bit skeptical of people's long term ability to not disappoint. I'm a slight bit hard and distant on the outside, but that could be a defense mechanism at work. I'm a really good guy, generous with those I care about, and am not capable of treating others as I've been treated in some cases (poorly, that is).

[gettocard]

100% loner and always felt ok with that. But it hasn’t been always easy,the not fitting feeling was a burden sometimes. Looking back I can look with pride at that me not fitting tho..
I have a family and we are raising a little one,but I don’t enjoy being around people anymore as I used to when I was younger,although I sort of hated that aswell at the same time...well it’s complicated .
The best part ? Even my wife is a loner, we can spend the whole afternoon at home without talking to each other because we are busy with our own stuff. We 100% skip dinners and parties invitations,even kindergarten parties and parent gatherings cost us a huge effort..

[BisonHead]

Love socialising, love hosting people, love big family and friends get togethers esp dining. Basically love being at home ha.

Although i don't crave making new friends, you know that constant need to be approved or accepted i suppose. I seem to make friends quite easy, that is i find it easy to put people at their ease and interact with them.

But i do really treasure time on my own, I really really love reading. Quite happy to be on my own, in my own company.

I think with the work i do, it can go from being thrown together with a lot of people 24/7 living in each others pockets so to say. To really being on your jack jones for long periods of time. Many times i have went weeks without physically face to face speaking to another person.

So i probably have adapted to both sides of the equation.

OP if you don't mind me asking what age are you now? You mentioned having lots of friends when you were a young man.

[Brew]

I have always managed to be alone, despite often being in the thick of things. My recent loss of hearing has begun to make this more problematic.

[BisonHead]

^^^ A massive cause of isolation/loneliness. My Father stopped being as social when his hearing deteriorated a lot.

Packing 2 Digi hearing aids now and just switches them off haha

[timedate]

Originally Posted by BisonHead

Love socialising, love hosting people, love big family and friends get togethers esp dining. Basically love being at home ha.

Although i don't crave making new friends, you know that constant need to be approved or accepted i suppose. I seem to make friends quite easy, that is i find it easy to put people at their ease and interact with them.

But i do really treasure time on my own, I really really love reading. Quite happy to be on my own, in my own company.

I think with the work i do, it can go from being thrown together with a lot of people 24/7 living in each others pockets so to say. To really being on your jack jones for long periods of time. Many times i have went weeks without physically face to face speaking to another person.

So i probably have adapted to both sides of the equation.

OP if you don't mind me asking what age are you now? You mentioned having lots of friends when you were a young man.

51 years old and feeling good overall, the jigsaw of life seems to be coming together daily, generally optimistic in a negative british sort of way, lol.

[SearChart]

I'm autistic and a watchmaker, yes I'm a loner
I like hanging out with friends from time to time but generally speaking I prefer being alone. I hate being together with a lot of people like in public transport or a club, too much input for my brain.

[FloridaRolexGuy23]

I’m 100% a loner and love it. I found that a lot of my close friends were heading down the wrong path with (hard drugs/alcoholism) and that’s nothing I want a part of so I find myself replying to the texts to go out n socialize with “ sorry got a tee time or can’t make it this time hit me up next time” 90% of the time. I have one close childhood friend who is an absoloute nutcase and menace to society that’s the only one that can always get me to open my door or pick up from the bar or lend a couple bucks til Friday or smoke a couple joints with but everybody else gets waitlisted. I just like being by myself playing golf n enjoying the ocean.

[BisonHead]

At OP, Love the British positive negativity, its been our saving grace for eons ha.

They say you can count true friends within the limit of your digits. I think this is very true.

As myself and my wife get older, heading towards our 50's in the next year or so. We probably turn down more invites to go out now then we ever did. Esp if its raining, windy etc, both prefer to stay in and pop the fire on and crack a nice bottle of wine. Maybe sit there reading.

To the point of my wife has a social ready reckoner in her head, of like "Oh we missed the last 2 invites to go to the same place/People, Right we have to make the effort", so to say.

I suppose we have become more family and very close friend orientated in the past few years. A more subtle and select social group, hope that doesn't sound snobbish.

[tyler1980]

Originally Posted by SearChart

I'm autistic and a watchmaker, yes I'm a loner
I like hanging out with friends from time to time but generally speaking I prefer being alone. I hate being together with a lot of people like in public transport or a club, too much input for my brain.

seriously thats me. Too much brain input. I have i guess, pretty close to a photographic memory and the amount of information never stops. Sounds cool, it isn't. I can't turn it off.

going to bed at night is one or two hours of clearing thoughts before i can sleep. Some people can go out hang out with friends walk in the door and pass out. Not me. There is a reason im home by 7 or 8 at night. Wont get to sleep otherwise.

[Brenngun]

I have a hand full of close friends I spend time with. Frequency depends on what's happening at the time. Love these people like family. Most have been in my life for more than 20 years. Everyone else are acquaintances or strangers.

Prefer to meet new people in very small groups like 1 or 2 at a time. I hate large get togethers with people I don't know well. Not afraid of it. I just get bored with small talk and uninteresting subjects. At that point I'd rather be alone so I usually look for early exit strategies. I still go to large gathering because every once in a while it will surprise me and I meet someone interesting.

[timedate]

Originally Posted by Brenngun

I have a hand full of close friends I spend time with. Frequency depends on what's happening at the time. Love these people like family. Most have been in my life for more than 20 years. Everyone else are acquaintances or strangers.

I hate large get togethers with people I don't know well. Not afraid of it. I just get bored with small talk and uninteresting subjects. At that point I'd rather be alone so I usually look for early exit strategies. I still go to large gathering because every once in a while it will surprise me and I meet someone interesting.

you are no way a loner

[BisonHead]

What a great thread this is, thank you OP.

Mind post anything on the Omega Sub Forum and you will feel properly alone haha.

[BisonHead]

Originally Posted by timedate

you are no way a loner

Not with a BBQ like that and the fine fare being cooked.

[timedate]

Originally Posted by BisonHead

What a great thread this is, thank you OP.

Mind post anything on the Omega Sub Forum and you will feel properly alone haha.

thanks, i had a funny feeling i wouldnt be alone. lol.

Maybe its a man thing.

[BisonHead]

Never alone with a good watch on your wrist. Fact, like caveman TV, the old fire.

[Brenngun]

Originally Posted by timedate

you are no way a loner

Your probably right although as time goes on I must admit I like the idea.

[Brenngun]

Originally Posted by BisonHead

Not with a BBQ like that and the fine fare being cooked.

Thanks. A request from that small circle of friends every time we gather at my place for poker.

[BisonHead]

Some seriously good action going on there at that BBQ. We bought a good friend a smoker for his 40th, his place has never been as popular, loves it.

Thats is a cure for it all, get a smoker or high fluting BBQ, you find friends you didn't even think you had haha

[synequano]

I am a loner and introvert...probably because I’m an only son and grandson from my mother’s side and I don’t really get along with anyone from my dad’s side

I’m okay if I speak with a bunch of people but I don’t like being in a group of huge crowd

I can deal with people if it’s absolutely necessary and I’m not shy as I can give presentations without any problems

[pickettt]

I enjoy authentic social interaction, not pretentious dribble. If the socialization is fakery and just a bunch of people who like to hear their own voices , I’m completely satisfied being alone.

[pickettt]

Originally Posted by tyler1980

seriously thats me. Too much brain input. I have i guess, pretty close to a photographic memory and the amount of information never stops. Sounds cool, it isn't. I can't turn it off.

going to bed at night is one or two hours of clearing thoughts before i can sleep. Some people can go out hang out with friends walk in the door and pass out. Not me. There is a reason im home by 7 or 8 at night. Wont get to sleep otherwise.

You sound like me in my younger years. It was mentally taxing. Now I guess life wore me down and I can disregard a lot of it now. I’ve entered the IDGAF stage of life.

[timedate]

i am not very adept at uploading videos,

if you are allowed to and its not infringing anything,

please upload gilbert o sullivan 'alone again'


listen to the words and tell me thats not a sad song.

[BisonHead]

Cats in the cradle by Cat Stevens, used to be a big no no play to lets depress the lads both in Iraq and Afghanistan. Basically acknowledging how much time we were missing with our kids.

As you get older the song rings so very true.

[crazymcmichael]

Originally Posted by timedate

Or are you a big gregarious social type?

As the years have gone by i have become more and more of a loner,

i always felt alone, even when in company, going from having many friends as a young man to mainly aquaintances nowadays,

its not a problem, and its not a feeling of being lonely as such, its just a feeling that you are not quite fitting in somehow, you get bored easily and retreat to whatever you find interesting.

dont get me wrong, i like people, i associate with people everyday, but i think i have always essentially been a loner,

Maybe friends were always a bit overrated, maybe i felt i was a better friend and it wasnt being reciprocated.

I know of quite a few people who also appear to be loners.

i think some people in my family tree would be classed as loners, my grandad, but certainly not my brothers who constantly crave company and get plenty of it.

So where do you stand regarding this?

I am a total loner but i have a girlfriend. I don't really miss people. Sort of dislike them to...

[crazymcmichael]

Originally Posted by timedate

Or are you a big gregarious social type?

As the years have gone by i have become more and more of a loner,

i always felt alone, even when in company, going from having many friends as a young man to mainly aquaintances nowadays,

its not a problem, and its not a feeling of being lonely as such, its just a feeling that you are not quite fitting in somehow, you get bored easily and retreat to whatever you find interesting.

dont get me wrong, i like people, i associate with people everyday, but i think i have always essentially been a loner,

Maybe friends were always a bit overrated, maybe i felt i was a better friend and it wasnt being reciprocated.

I know of quite a few people who also appear to be loners.

i think some people in my family tree would be classed as loners, my grandad, but certainly not my brothers who constantly crave company and get plenty of it.

So where do you stand regarding this?

Originally Posted by timedate

it actually feels good to get it off your chest, it's not that i think i am superior to people, as i really am just an average joe, its just i find 'characters' few and far between, i was and i still am drawn to old school types, but people aint like that anymore.

Every friendship i have ever had has dwindled, but i am not really bothered, i have no interest in replacing them, i would rather read and learn about cars or watches, or care for my rabbit. lol

True i feel the same. I liked my grandmother but she died :( and i like my parents