Buying AP for a girlfriend (contingency planning)

[Fifteen]

Has anyone here purchased an AP (or any high priced item) for a gf before? I understand it would be normal to purchase for a wife, but when it comes to gf, I’m wondering what the etiquette would be if we ever broke up.

I don’t expect the girl to ever return gifts (or Vice versa) when they break up, but I’ve also never purchased anything of high value (over $5k) before to a gf.

I’m wondering if anyone has any experience of getting a watch back bc the girl may associate the item to you (or vice versa).

Asking for a friend of course.

[HMHM]

Buy something you can afford to toss into the river, burn to ashes!
That’s certainly not an AP!
Buying something that expensive when she’s your gf will be hard to stomach should she calls the time on the relationship.

[huncho]

doesn't sound ideal unless you guys are getting married imo

[Pw92676]

I’d say any gifts given are property of the recipient. Unless a written agreement is in place. If that is the situation, or even if there is question in the first place I’d recommend not doing it. My personal recommendation would be to put that money towards a ring. If the relationship doesn’t last, re-allocate that money from a ring to a watch for you instead.

[macrowatch]

I would assume no contingency when gifting accordingly. If something happens it's gone. As a thought experiment, would you go as far as asking to be named in her will and estate to ensure you got the watch back to you in the event of an unforeseen death?

Regardless of dollar amount, my learned (painful experience before marriage) is be very, very careful of where you set the initial base line for gifts and shared vacations. It's hard to go back to a lower level. And you can only choose when you are jumping in increments once. Even if you can afford it (and I'm sincerely assuming you are because you are likely a baller), the expectations setting needs to be carefully managed to avoid future headaches.

[10XRolex]

Sounds like your friends girlfriend broke up with him and he wants the expensive gift back. Tell him to move on he is not getting it back.

[supernova]

Regardless of gf/wife/partner, you should always consider a gift, regardless of price, the property of the recipient and never ask for it back whatever happens.

So if it would keep you up at night wondering what will happen to the AP should things go belly up, then don’t gift it.


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[GoingPlaces]

A gift is a gift, not a loan or condition. If you don't want her to "have" it then don't buy it.

If you wanna play, you gotta pay.

[Hauxrologist]

Never give anything you would expect to get back, under any circumstance. I think this is best suited as a wedding gift.

[VogelPhoenix]

If the idea of "contingency planning" crossed my mind for a gift, I'd know that I had my answer.

[GW44]

Originally Posted by VogelPhoenix

If the idea of "contingency planning" crossed my mind for a gift, I'd know that I had my answer.

Exactly my thinking too…

[BNA/LION]

Take her on a Fantastic Trip and get her the watch for an engagement gift if you get to that point. IMHO

Don't buy and expect to get it back if things don't work out... Collect memories while you are dating. You will collect plenty things when you get married.

[~JJ]

Perfect example of when to go grey. You’ve been noodling on how to get a RO and like the creative thought process.

[Chary]

A gift is basically that... even if she goes with someone else she get's to keep it! that's my opinion! a gift is a gift!!!

[Emery]

Mate, you’re overthinking it - just get an AP for yourself.

[Andad]

Originally Posted by Fifteen

Has anyone here purchased an AP (or any high priced item) for a gf before? I understand it would be normal to purchase for a wife, but when it comes to gf, I’m wondering what the etiquette would be if we ever broke up.

I don’t expect the girl to ever return gifts (or Vice versa) when they break up, but I’ve also never purchased anything of high value (over $5k) before to a gf.

I’m wondering if anyone has any experience of getting a watch back bc the girl may associate the item to you (or vice versa).

Asking for a friend of course.

You really know what to tell ‘your friend’.

[EEpro]

Won't happen. You give it, it's gone. Her next boyfriend is probably a flipper who is already scheming to sell it.

[DJ4]

Originally Posted by Fifteen

Has anyone here purchased an AP (or any high priced item) for a gf before? I understand it would be normal to purchase for a wife, but when it comes to gf, I’m wondering what the etiquette would be if we ever broke up.

I don’t expect the girl to ever return gifts (or Vice versa) when they break up, but I’ve also never purchased anything of high value (over $5k) before to a gf.

I’m wondering if anyone has any experience of getting a watch back bc the girl may associate the item to you (or vice versa).

Asking for a friend of course.

Can I be you gf? :)

honestly - IMHO - it doesn't make sense

[DonLee]

Originally Posted by Fifteen

Has anyone here purchased an AP (or any high priced item) for a gf before? I understand it would be normal to purchase for a wife, but when it comes to gf, I’m wondering what the etiquette would be if we ever broke up.

I don’t expect the girl to ever return gifts (or Vice versa) when they break up, but I’ve also never purchased anything of high value (over $5k) before to a gf.

I’m wondering if anyone has any experience of getting a watch back bc the girl may associate the item to you (or vice versa).

Asking for a friend of course.

A gift is a gift. You don't buy someone something unless you are comfortable losing that money for that person. Someone who treats me for dinner and gets into a fight with me the next week, doesn't ask me back for money.

[CoveWatch]

I think it has a lot to do with your overall financial situation. If its a drop in the bucket for you and you won't miss it and want to, then why not? Personally, I wouldn't gift a gf something of that caliber since its not a drop in the bucket for me

[1William]

Don't do it. Until you put a wedding ring on her finger just skip it.

[saltyandwet]

Originally Posted by Fifteen

Has anyone here purchased an AP (or any high priced item) for a gf before? I understand it would be normal to purchase for a wife, but when it comes to gf, I’m wondering what the etiquette would be if we ever broke up.

I don’t expect the girl to ever return gifts (or Vice versa) when they break up, but I’ve also never purchased anything of high value (over $5k) before to a gf.

I’m wondering if anyone has any experience of getting a watch back bc the girl may associate the item to you (or vice versa).

Asking for a friend of course.

I did. In the last 12 months, I've bought my GF a 36mm YG DD, a Birkin, Channel flapbag, Dior saddlebag, Cartier love bracelet/ring, Van Cleef necklace and other things here and there. Do what makes you happy. Don't overthink the whole gf/wife thing. A wife can leave you just as easily as a gf with one notable exception. If a gf leaves, you'd lose everything that you've already spent on her. A wife leaves, you stand to lose 50% of everything that you haven't spent YET.

[dauster]

Originally Posted by Fifteen

Has anyone here purchased an AP (or any high priced item) for a gf before? I understand it would be normal to purchase for a wife, but when it comes to gf, I’m wondering what the etiquette would be if we ever broke up.

I don’t expect the girl to ever return gifts (or Vice versa) when they break up, but I’ve also never purchased anything of high value (over $5k) before to a gf.

I’m wondering if anyone has any experience of getting a watch back bc the girl may associate the item to you (or vice versa).

Asking for a friend of course.

If you need to ask strangers on the internet don’t do it


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[2001jesper]

Originally Posted by saltyandwet

If a gf leaves, you'd lose everything that you've already spent on her. A wife leaves, you stand to lose 50% of everything that you haven't spent YET.

Very fair point!

To OP: Sounds like "your friend" should buy an AP for himself and let her borrow it from time to time instead

[Bearxj86]

Originally Posted by Fifteen

Has anyone here purchased an AP (or any high priced item) for a gf before? I understand it would be normal to purchase for a wife, but when it comes to gf, I’m wondering what the etiquette would be if we ever broke up.

I don’t expect the girl to ever return gifts (or Vice versa) when they break up, but I’ve also never purchased anything of high value (over $5k) before to a gf.

I’m wondering if anyone has any experience of getting a watch back bc the girl may associate the item to you (or vice versa).

Asking for a friend of course.

Best answer is for the GF to buy YOU a watch. In this day of equality...yada yada yada.

[sechsgang]

gift is a gift, Id never expect that back. Its not like a car that you've leased in your name and added her to insurance of so she can drive it...

[Fifteen]

thank you all. I have told my friend if he is not ready to put a ring on it, he definitely is not ready to put a RO on it...

[DonLee]

Originally Posted by saltyandwet

I did. In the last 12 months, I've bought my GF a 36mm YG DD, a Birkin, Channel flapbag, Dior saddlebag, Cartier love bracelet/ring, Van Cleef necklace and other things here and there. Do what makes you happy. Don't overthink the whole gf/wife thing. A wife can leave you just as easily as a gf with one notable exception. If a gf leaves, you'd lose everything that you've already spent on her. A wife leaves, you stand to lose 50% of everything that you haven't spent YET.

As long as you are happy and within your means. My wife and I have already achieved mutual understanding that, buying things don't make either of us any more happy. Experiences, memories, achievements, family are much more important. We do buy watches occasionally because they are great investments, and we only buy from retail.

[Mini2]

Originally Posted by saltyandwet

I did. In the last 12 months, I've bought my GF a 36mm YG DD, a Birkin, Channel flapbag, Dior saddlebag, Cartier love bracelet/ring, Van Cleef necklace and other things here and there. Do what makes you happy. Don't overthink the whole gf/wife thing. A wife can leave you just as easily as a gf with one notable exception. If a gf leaves, you'd lose everything that you've already spent on her. A wife leaves, you stand to lose 50% of everything that you haven't spent YET.

Can I date you?

[Hauxrologist]

Originally Posted by DonLee

As long as you are happy and within your means. My wife and I have already achieved mutual understanding that, buying things don't make either of us any more happy. Experiences, memories, achievements, family are much more important. We do buy watches occasionally because they are great investments, and we only buy from retail.

This hits it on the head. True, lasting happiness can't come from material goods.